Sky Full of Stars

Chapter 6: Mother

    "So your mother is up there too?"

    I turned, startled, to find Miznia standing on the roof behind me, looking rather beautiful in the moonlight.

    "I thought you had 'nightly activities' to attend to?" I shot her a glare.

    She chuckled, and the sound was music to my ears. "Heard that, did you? Yes, I do. But I'm curious about you. You're strange. Different. It's intriguing. So, tell me. What happened to your mother?"

    I flinched back from the question. "I'd... Rather not discuss it..." I bit back the growl that threatened to rise into my voice.

    Miznia raised a brow at me. "Well, I'll tell you about mine" she said as she settled in beside me, leaving about three feet of space between us.

    I didn't say anything, but I didn't stop her. I was curious to learn more about this mysterious woman.

    "I was born to a loving mother and father. Papa was a member of the royal guard in Moonbourne. Mama was a beautiful dark elf woman, one of the royal chefs. Life was good for a long time. Until an assassination attempt on the king went wrong, and Papa was killed defending him. Mama got so sick after he died, she died of a broken heart not three months later. I was seven, and the royal family couldn't find me, though I'm sure they tried. I was already in the streets, fending for myself. I didn't want their pity, and I refused to be a servant or a ward that they could order around and marry off whenever they wanted to. Now, what's your story?" Her voice stayed calm the entire story, but I could see a bit of sadness in her eyes.

    I thought for a moment, considering what to tell her. "I'm the eldest of six children. Mother had two boys, twins, Byldum and Brunel, the second eldest. Strong Bear and Silent Squirrel... Mother's pet names for them. Then was Iadara, Little Bird. She's here in Ravenwallow, traveled with me from our farm to the bard's college. After her was Levah, Brave Lioness. The only other one who joined me in paladin training for a few years before Mother..." I cleared my throat and swallowed my grief. I shook my head and smiled fondly. "Lastly was Elva... My Little Mouse... The youngest of us... She was only three when Mother..." I bit my lip and blinked back the tears clouding my vision.

    Miznia was silent, seemingly waiting for something. When she didn't get it, she glanced over at me. "What happened to her?" Her tone of voice had changed slightly. More... Comforting? It was a softer, melodic tune, rather than her normal coolness.

    I took a deep breath and looked at her. "She died... She caught the plague and... I couldn't protect her..." I heard my voice break and felt wetness on my cheeks before I realized that I was crying.

    Miznia watched me for several moments, before she reached into her pocket and pulled out a clean cloth, passing it over to me. I looked at her skeptically, frowning.

    "Relax, it's not poisoned. Just take the damned cloth" She growled.

    I carefully took it from her hands, smiling weakly. "Thanks..." I gently wiped my eyes, drying my face.

    "So... Do you know how she got sick..?"

    I frowned and looked down at the cloth in my hands. "She went to the city with Iadara... Some guy they thought was drunk threw himself onto Mother's lap... He vomited all over her, which I guess passed it to her. She didn't start feeling sick until three days later, when she made it home. Since I was the only one at the time with immunity to disease... I was with her when she was sick... And I was with her when she died..." I felt the tears slipping down my face again. "And I was the only one who could... Bury her..." I shuddered at the memory. "I was alone in all that... Father and my siblings mourned her, but I was the one who had to bear all that alone..." My voice had dropped to a whisper by that point.

    Miznia watched me quietly for several long moments, before standing and walking away. I heard her drop off the edge of the roof. I felt my throat closing up as the tears threatened to spill over once more, so I turned my gaze back to the sky, to the stars.

    "Please... Please, Mother... Send me a sign..."

    After a little while, I found myself drifting off, so I quickly shook myself awake and swung back down into my room. I wiped the remaining tears away with Miznia's cloth and set it on my bed stand. Then, I climbed into bed, and finally let myself fall asleep.

~

    "Mother, please don't go..." I heard my own voice cracking as I cried over my mother's weak body.

    "Come now, Great Wolf..." She coughed weakly. "Shed no tears for me... I will always watch over you... Even from Kareem's sweet embrace... Remember that..." Her coughs wracked her body, leaving her shivering but with a burning fever. Her eyes, normally a comforting golden honey color, were bloodshot, and she had dark circles beneath them. She had not kept food down in over a week, and had barely kept water down.

    I knew this was it for her. "Mother... Please... I can't even bring the others in to say their goodbyes... They won't even be able to kiss you goodbye after you've gone..."

    "And they shouldn't... It will only make them ill, and I won't have any one of my beautiful children follow me because of this sickness... You have to protect them, my Great Wolf, my Nimue... You are the firstborn, the strongest of your siblings... I am so proud of who you are and who you will become... Please know that... I love you, my sweet girl..."

    I sniffled and wiped away my tears. "I love you too, Mother..."

    "Watch over them... Ensure they're safe and cared for... But don't neglect your own happiness in the process... You all deserve happiness... And I will see you again, someday soon... Take care of them... Take care of you... I love you..." Her voice faded, and as she finished her goodbye and I heard her last breath leave her body, I felt the tears run freely and I cried over her body for several hours.

    When I finally had the strength to pull away, I stood and made sure no one else was in the house before I lifted her body and carried it outside and to the fields. Mother was insistent when she fell ill that when she died she was to be buried freely in the fields, so her body could feed the plants. As much as I hated the idea, she allowed me to create a marking for her, and to place her at the far end of the field where we could visit her grave whenever we wanted to.

    I laid her in the hole she'd begged me to dig three days prior. "Just in case" she had told me. We both knew that it would be used soon. With her body placed, I called my siblings and Father over so they could say their goodbyes. She looked so tired, but I know they'd never forgive me or themselves if they didn't get to see her to say their goodbyes.

    I didn't hear any of the words spoken, I was too focused on Mother's resting form. She's at peace now, I told myself, and while I knew it was true, it didn't stop the pain anymore than poppy seeds could numb it.

    When Father laid his hand on my shoulder, I looked back at his tear stained face, an image of my own. He nodded once, and I stepped forward to bury Mother, our final goodbyes done. As I worked, Father and my siblings returned to the house to prepare dinner, but I had a much more difficult task to complete. Everything of Mother's had to be burned, anything that was in her room while she was ill.

    With her body buried and her marker placed, I returned to the house and headed straight for her room. Two weeks. Two weeks she lived there, alone except for my care. Two weeks and the plague took her. I began with her clothes, stuffing them into a bag with every intention of burning the entire thing. Most of her jewelry went too, but I kept one amulet that I intended to disinfect. It was her amulet of Kareem, the full moon beautiful with the image of the howling wolf carved into it.

    I sorted through her belongings until I found her stack of empty journals. Four leather bound books, and a note.

    To my Great Wolf, on your 26th birthday, I gift you these four journals. I expect you to write in them whenever you learn something new on your journey. Use the knowledge you have gathered and the knowledge you will gather to fill these journals for your siblings, so they too can learn what you do. I love you, my sweet. Happy birthday. Love, Mother.

    She'd had a present prepared for two years later? I vaguely recalled our conversation from some years back. She'd wanted me to start adventuring when I turned twenty-six. I sighed and tucked the note into my pocket, then put the journals aside with the amulet to be cleansed for use later.

    Once I'd sorted through her things, and chosen either a bracelet, a necklace, or a ring for each of my siblings and Father to be cleansed, I took her things out to the fire pit and laid them in neatly. I lit a torch as the sun began to sink, looking down at everything we had to be rid of, clothes, bedding, jewelry.

    Finally, I dropped the torch into the pit, and watched Mother's things go up in flames.