Broken by him, bound to him

Chapter 16: When reality dawns

Since the day Cain threatened Hassan, he had been planning to kidnap Naya in secret, take her back to Ethiopia, and keep her at his place until she finally gave in to him. He had placed one of his most trusted agents on her tail and, by now, he knew her daily routine as well as his own reflection. His hope was to slip away from Cain’s radar before things turned ugly.

That weekend, Naya went on a road trip with Wendy to escape the pressure of work. She had woken before dawn, eager to pack—she loved to travel, and so did Wendy. Before the first light broke, they were already out of the building, Wendy at the wheel while Naya drifted to sleep beside her. Old-school love songs hummed softly through the car, Wendy singing along with so much drama one would think she had lived every word of heartbreak spilling from the radio.

When the sun began to rise, they stopped at a quaint little café for snacks before continuing their drive. Their plan was to leave the city behind and venture deep into the desert, maybe even climb the dunes before the scorching heat made it impossible.

Midway, Wendy brought up Cain. Naya dismissed it quickly, unwilling to think about him—or about how complicated things grew every second she spent near him. And then there was Ryan. She had led him on, hoping at first that he might be a clean break from her past, a statement to Cain that she had moved on. But she knew now it would never be that simple. She meant to let Ryan down gently.

Beside her, Wendy pressed on.

“Is what happened so bad that you can’t even talk about it?”

Naya threw her head back with exasperation. “Let it go, Wendy. This was supposed to be a girls’ trip. If we keep talking about men, it will be anything but.”

“Fine. Then let’s talk about one man—a man of great significance to you.”

With a resigned sigh, Naya tugged the scarf from her neck. Wendy’s eyes widened at the fading marks on her throat and chest.

“Cain?” she asked.

“Yeah,” Naya answered plainly.

“Details?”

“No.”

But even as she spoke, Naya knew she couldn’t avoid Cain forever. He wasn’t letting her.

“I was wrong,” Naya whispered after a long silence.

Wendy eased the car to the shoulder of the highway, giving her friend room to breathe, and she told her all that had happened.

“I thought it would be easy to cut him off. And maybe it would have been… if I didn’t know he came back.”

“Do you want him?” Wendy asked carefully. “Do you want him like that?”

“I don’t know.” Naya gave a small, half-smile. “I don’t even know if I’m ready to be with anyone, let alone Cain. And besides… he doesn’t know.”

“If you’re going to be together, eventually he’ll find out,” Wendy said softly.

Naya exhaled, this time in pure pain. “I don’t know if I want him in my life like that. He’s part of the reason I’ll always be alone.”

“No, that’s not fair, hon,” Wendy said, squeezing her hand. “Complications happen. How was Cain supposed to know the pregnancy would end in miscarriage? Or that the complications would leave you barren? Neither of you are responsible for that. You need to cut yourself some slack.”

A single tear slid down Naya’s cheek. For so long she had tied Cain to her pain and her loss. But Wendy’s words made it harder to deny that he was as blameless as she was. Neither of them had been in control.

“You should tell him,” Wendy urged. “Tell him everything. Unfiltered. Don’t hold anything back.”

“I’m not there yet,” Naya admitted, disappointed in herself.

“You’re not ready to tell him the truth, but you’re ready to let him pin you to a couch and bite on your neck?” Wendy teased, making Naya blush and swat at her shoulder.

“And you wonder why I don’t tell you things.”

“Maybe it’s just a s****l thing,” Wendy mused.

Naya frowned. “What?”

“Hear me out. Maybe your body remembers how good it was with him, and you want him physically, but emotionally you’re at odds.”

“So you’re saying it’s just s*x?” Naya asked, almost hopeful. That would be easier than confronting the darkest parts of her past.

“It could be. If you slept with him, maybe you’d finally get him out of your system,” Wendy suggested.

Naya nodded slowly, as though she’d been handed a revelation. “Maybe. But what about Ryan?”

“If it’s just physical, then you’ll be free of Cain and you can be with Ryan. Unless, of course, you still love Cain… which you probably do,” Wendy teased.

“I guess I’ll find out if it’s love or just attraction.”

The thought was oddly comforting. If it was only physical for both of them, maybe they could finally let go. Wendy studied her friend quietly—the distant gaze, the way she bit her lower lip, the deepening rhythm of her breath.

“You’re thinking about him right now.”

Naya jumped, caught out. Then she smiled sheepishly and nodded.

“It’s just been a while since I’ve been… you know…” she said, half to herself.

“How long are we talking?”

“Since Cain.”

Wendy blinked, then nodded as if she’d expected nothing less.

“He was your first?”

“Yes.”

“And your last, apparently,” Wendy quipped.

Naya rolled her eyes.

“Goodness, this man really did a number on you. At least tell me he was good.”

“I can’t complain,” Naya said, though she knew it was the understatement of a lifetime.

“Really?”

“He was… great, okay? He could turn my whole world upside down. Now, can we drop it?”

“Not a chance. We’ve got two more hours in this car. Indulge me.”

For once, Naya decided to stop fighting and simply give in.

“Fine. But you can’t repeat this or torture me with it.”

“Pinky promise,” Wendy said, holding out her finger.

“At first, Cain was reluctant. He’d come to my dorm, sit with me for hours, just listening to my endless stories. When it got late, he’d kiss me lightly and leave. I thought maybe he was just another campus guy looking for an easy lay, but he wasn’t. He never rushed me. He was so slow I started to wonder if he wasn’t attracted to me… or if he was gay.”

“What?” Wendy laughed. “From what you’ve described, he doesn’t sound like a man who holds back.”

“The Cain then and the Cain now are two different people,” Naya said softly, recalling the night she had decided to ask him.

It had been pouring rain. She’d texted him, asking to talk. He’d offered to come to her, but she insisted on meeting him halfway. By the time they reached his room, both were drenched.

“I’ll get you a shirt so you don’t catch cold,” Cain said, rummaging in his closet. He handed it to her, but as he turned to leave, she caught his hand.

“Stay,” she whispered.

He looked down at her, amused but curious. “I don’t mind. But are you sure?”

“Unless you’d rather go,” she murmured, her courage fading.

“What do you want, my love?”

Her heart pounded. Then, with trembling lips, she whispered the question that had haunted her: “Are you gay?”

Cain laughed, brushing a damp strand of hair from her cheek. “No, I’m not gay. Why would you even think that?” He lifted her chin, forcing her eyes to meet his.

“It feels like you’re not attracted to me… not in…”

“In a s****l way?” he finished for her.

She flushed. He took the shirt from her hands, slung it over his shoulder, and stepped closer to her.

“You think I’m not attracted to you because I haven’t made a move. But it’s the opposite.” His hands slid over her wet clothes, tugging them free. Her top dropped to the floor.

“If you knew the restraint it takes to be around you… wanting you the way I do, yet still resisting.”

Her breath hitched.

“You know what I’m thinking about right now?” he murmured, unfastening her trousers, his fingers teasing her waist.

“What?” she whispered.

“I’m thinking about lifting you into my arms, carrying you to my bed, kissing you until you can’t breathe without me. I want to taste every inch of you, slide my fingers deep inside you until you’re trembling and begging for more. And when you’re undone beneath me, I’ll take you slowly, again and again, until the only thing you remember is my name on your lips.”

The words burned into her, heavy with promise. But then, with deliberate restraint, Cain pulled his shirt over her bare shoulders, covering her trembling body. He walked away, casual now, and sat at his desk as though nothing had passed between them. With a slight tilt of his head, he signaled her toward the covers, telling her without words to stay warm.