An Everglow After Sunset

Chapter 18

I'm in my office right now thinking of what happened in my condo days ago. I still can't believe that he can do that. He's always silent! I didn't know he has an experience and girl, he was good. But, we didn't talk about it when we woke up and had our dinner. 

Hindi ko makalimutan ang ginawa niyang pagsamba sa akin noon. Ganoon pala ang pakiramdam. Pabalik-balik ang lakad ko sa loob ng opisina pero hindi iyong ginawa niya ang inaalala ko. I am wondering of what he's said before I fell asleep so sat down in front of my computer and typed...

CAN ORG*SM RELIEVE STRESS?

It loaded within a second and guess what? It f*****g doesssss! How the hell did he know that?

Ilang sandali pa akong nakatulala roon bago may malalakas na katok ang bumulabog sa aking pintuan. Hindi pa man ako nakakapagsalita ay bumukas na ito at iniluwa ang kuya kong nagpupuyos sa galit.

"ALECXIANDRA DENISSE!"

"K-kuya," gulantang at nauutal kong bati at tumayo sa aking swivel chair, kabado.

"Are you f*****g serious when you told us that you want to manage this company!?" Mariin ang bawat pagbigkas niya sa mga salita. Gumagalaw ang mga panga at matatalim ang tinging ipinupukol sa akin.

"Y-yes, kuya." I tried to smile to hide my fear but it faded so easily when he dumped the folders I sent him on my table.

"Then what the f**k are these!? I told you that I wanted the complete and accurate report but you sent me these? Kung mamarkahan at itatama ko 'yan ay baka magdugo ang papel, Alecxiandra! Did you even read these!?"

His voice thundered inside my office. I never saw him this angry before and they never raised their voice at me especially him. He's the sweetest among us kaya't hindi ko napigilang mapaluha sa naging turing niya sa akin.

Nanginginig kong pinulot ang mga papel na nahulog mula sa pagkakakabit sa folder at nanliliit na tinugon ang kapatid.

"I'm sorry. We'll revise these, kuya. P-please... don't be mad at m-me." 

Napasinghap ako, hindi na napigilan ang paghikbi sa dulo ng pangungusap. Hindi na ako nag-angat ng tingin sa kaniya nang marahas niyang ibinagsak ang pintuan ng aking opisina.

What happened to him?

Mabilis kong pinalis ang mga luha at sinimulang basahin ang mga papel na ibinalik sa akin. Marami ngang mali doon base na rin sa datos na tinitignan sa aking computer.

Ipinatawag ko ang head ng finance para maiparevise ang mga dokumento. Sa sobrang tiwala ko sa mga empleyado ay hindi ko na binasa ang report nila at basta na lang ipinasa kay kuya. Kulang ang mga transactions at ang mga recorded value pa ng mga ito'y hindi nagtutugma.

I'm hurt, okay. I never imagined my brothers talking to me that way but it happened already. Ayoko ng palakihin pa ang nangyari kaya hindi ko na rin sinabi kina mama. Baka mapagalitan pa kaming dalawa at mapilitan pa si kuya na makipag-ayos. Ayokong mamilit. Sabi nga ni Joanne, "li bisa, li pilit."

I went home grumpily. First, Dymaun isn't responding on my messages. Then, kuya's mad. I personally sent the report to his office but his secretary told me that he is already out.

My condo feels lonely. Matagal na akong naninirahan mag-isa pero iba pa rin kapag alam mong walang may galit sa'yo.

Dymaun's shop has been open to public for a week now. He's been really busy with it that he forgot that he has a girlfriend. Hindi ako galit. Ang akin lang ay sana kahit magreply man lang siya sa messages ko. Kahit isang text lang okay na ako.

Pero wala eh. And I hear rumors that he's seeing someone else, not his cousin Margaret. I feel like napipilitan lang talaga siya dito. Ako naman talaga ang nag-umpisa nito diba? Ako yung nagtulak sa sarili ko sa kaniya. 

Shit. Bakit ganito ako mag-isip. I should trust him more.

Maaga akong nag-out ngayon. I decided to go to his shop and surprise him. I bought a cake and smoothies along the way.

Pagkalabas pa lang sa elevator ay kita na ang dami ng taong nakasubaybay sa studio. Lahat ay nakadungaw sa mga ceramics na nandoon at ang iba naman tutok ang atensiyon sa taong nasa harap na mariing hawak ang isang clay.

I smiled. He's instructing his students, where mostly are women my age, shyly. There are two other men and an older woman beside him. 

This is his dream, I know. And I'm happy seeing him being passionate and happy while achieving his dreams.

I was just there. Looking at him beyond the glass wall which divides the studio.

Women kept ogling on him. One of his students even ask for him to assist and guide her hand while forming the clay. At dahil mabait ang boyfriend ko at trabaho niya 'yon ay nakangiti niya itong nilapitan. 

His black v-neck shirt and dog tag make him hotter every passing second kaya hindi ko masisisi ang mga babaeng 'to. He also looks good with his apron on. Wait for me, girls. I'd love to see your reaction when he sees me.

Nag-ikot ako sa studio. I sipped on my smoothie habang gumagala roon. The ceramics are great and beautiful. I think he should open a shop sooner or put these in a gallery. Bebenta 'to.

"Hi, beautiful."

A man on his ripped jeans, military green shirt, and boots greeted me.

"Hi," I said politely.

"These vases are great. I might buy one for my pent house." 

I smiled. Share mo lang?

"Great."

"I just moved in a week ago. And I kinda feel lonely living alone. Good thing I have my dogs to make me happy." 

He's still pushing this conversation, ha. 'Eto piso, bili ka kausap mo. 

"Good for you."

I smiled awkwardly. I nodded and moved to another set of designs but the guy still followed me.

"You know, I was in the military for years and I'm not used on living alone..."

He continued on bragging about his pent house. He also told me about his experiences. Like, bruh... I don't care.

"Are you alone? Wanna join me for dinner?" he asked as his eyes linger on me.

Oh. Tangna naman. Napatingin agad ako sa suot ko. I'm wearing my office attire, a white chiffon blouse and a light brown slacks. I do actually look dull with my clothes, so why hit on me?

"Not really and I have a boyfriend. Now if you'l-"

"If you have a boyfriend then, where is he?"

I got irritated with his words and smirk. I get that he is a good looking man but can't he just respect me as a woman who is in a relationship with the owner of the studio he's in?

"He's busy at work, mister. And will you just stop sticking your nose on my business? I don't care, okay?" I said in a gritted but still composed manner. I don't want to attract people baka maapektuhan pa ang negosyo ni Dymaun.

Kinalma ko ang sarili ko bago bumalik sa loob ng studio kung nasaan ang mga estudyante ni Dymaun. Pagpasok ko palang doon ay napabaling na agad ang tingin sa akin ng mga naroon, nagtataka siguro at kung kailan patapos na ang klase ay doon pa lang ako dumating.

The interior is a bit different now compared to what I remembered it when he first showed me this place. The place is well-lighted at maliwanag doon kahit ang mga kulay sa paligid ay pinaghalong gray at natural na kulay ng mga kahoy. Marami ding mga halaman doon na nakilala ang mga pangalan dahil sa mga magulang. The vases they were in were personally made by Dymaun. I saw these before on his shed back in the province.

Nang namataan ako ni Dymaun ay akma sana siyang lalapit perosinenyasan kong maghihintay ako sa stool na nasa gilid ng mga nakadisplay na mga vases sa shelves. He smiled widely at me and there... napanatag ako. How can this innocent man, ahh not really, cheat on me, right?

Malapit ko ng maubos ang iniinom ko, kakaisip kung anong maaring kulang sa paligid. Maybe a painting won't hurt, right? Matagal nang natengga ang mga gamit ko sa bodega ng bahay namin simula nang magcollege ako. I had a trauma when I was a little kid, trying to learn painting but stopped after a tragedy. I healed by myself, totally forgetting the incident and started anew when I was in grade 3. I can't even recall why I was so afraid of painting when I always find myself on art galleries and shops when I was in high school.

"Baby, you came."

A set of warm hands enveloped my body and a set of soft and wet lips touched mine in a swift kiss. Medyo naramdaman ko ang pamumula ng pisngi ko dahil sa ibang naisip dulot ng kaniyang pagbati. I smiled at him and kissed his cheeks. He chuckled a bit and gave me a tighter hug. See? How dare those people spread news of him dating someone else!

I felt the intense gaze of the ladies inside the studio but there's this feeling that someone is killing me with her or his stare. I looked around and found the set of eyes, darkly and creepily looking at me. It's the same man military man a while ago. I rolled my eyes and didn't bother thinking about him anymore. Pahiya siguro at totoo ngang may boyfriend ako. Just kidding. I was just trying to hide the fear I felt when I saw that man's stare.

Pagkatapos ng last session sa studio ay sabay kaming umuwi ni Dymaun sa condo ko. I cooked honey garlic pork chops and some side veggies for the both of us. Thanks to those vlogs na madalas kong panoorin tuwing madaling araw at hindi ako makatulog, may natutunan na namanakong lutuin.

We had a hearty dinner together and we talked about the things that bothers me this past few days, a glass of red wine on my hand. You know, this is good for the heart.

"I am not accusing you, okay? I just want to clarify things."

We were now sitting on a hammock chair at the balcony of my condo. Nakadantay ang ulo at likod ko sa kaniyang dibdib at siya nama'y masuyong hinahaplos ang buhok ko gamit ang isang kamay habang ang isa naman ay nakapirmi sa bewang ko.It is like he was hugging me from the side. Both of my feet were bent and on the hammock, too while his are on the ground. 

"You know Joanne, right? She called me last Sunday telling me that she saw you with someone else while on a video call with her other friend. I asked for pictures but she couldn't give me one. She's in the province now and I am not talking to her since then. I mean does that even make sense?"

"I was just busy with my business. I am not seeing someone else," he answered with a calm voice. 

I licked my lips and sipped some wine, calming myself too. Hindi ko na pinahaba ang usapan namin. I'm fine with what he's said. I just needed the assurance. I had a row with Joanne that day and I plan to talk to her after this. Dagdag pa si kuya na mukhang galit pa rin sa akin. Good thing Dymaun and I had this conversation. Nabawasan ang bigat ang dinadala nitong nakaraan.

"I'm sorry if I haven't contacted you lately. May iba rin kasing pinapaasikaso si mama. One of these days, when everything's settled, we'll go to Canary Islands to meet my parents. We can even tour around Europe if you want."

“Ano ba talaga yang pinapaasikaso ng mama mo sa'yo ha?” 

I badly wanted to ask him that but opt not to. I chose to trust him because he'll tell me what it is kung kailangan kong malaman diba? It's not like he's hiding something from me. 

"But, can you at least ring me or just text me if you are safe and unharmed? I always worry about you. I tried reaching you but you don't answer," I said in a hoarse voice, medyo inaantok na. 

He continued combing my hair then he suddenly kissed my forehead then my hand softly.

"I promise to tell you my whereabouts and be a good boy. I won't do something that will make you sad, miss. I won't. I promise you that."

We fell silent after telling me his plans. The silence speaks a lot of our unsaid emotions. My sleepy and teary eyes met his soft and caring ones. I smiled. And as we always do, every time that we have no words to utter, we'll just look in each other's eyes and everyone who'll going to see us will actually feel our contentment.

...

Sleep na. Pipiliin ka rin ¨)