Haze Bois

Chapter 19

When Katie woke her eyes were sore from crying. She sat up slowly, slumped her shoulders and sighed. It felt like all the life had been siphoned out of her. She imagined a phantom sneaking into her room at night and draining her soul with an awful kiss. It almost felt plausible.

A quick morning scroll through f******k showed her pictures she’d been tagged in. She stared at her joyous image, jealous of her yesterday self. In the picture she held Jamie’s hand and was laughing uncontrollably about something. Katie couldn’t recall what had been so funny.

‘That weird legal high must have done a real number on me,’ Katie realised.

Her eyes stung as she used a makeup remover to clean up her face. She would have a shower at some point, but she wanted to head over Caleb’s before anyone else arrived, even if he wasn’t awake yet. She was going to have to ‘bother him’ as Haley would say. It was unlikely he would listen to her, but she still had to try. She would do anything to see Jamie again.

When she let herself in her Aunty Mel was panicking about something as usual. She flitted about the kitchen like a hummingbird, picking up bits of makeup, hairbrushes and trying to eat toast while straightening her hair. The room was alive with smells and sounds as steam puffed from her hair and the kettle, and more toast popped from the toaster.

“I got the job!” Mel cried excitedly before adding, “And like a big doofus I told them I could start the next day.”

“That’s awesome. Well done,” Katie beamed, giving her Aunt a quick and careful cuddle, avoiding the heat of the hair iron.

“Nobody is up yet, but when they do drag their arses out of bed tell em there’s some toast,” Mel asked before giving a final squeal and leaving for work.

Katie poured a coffee, one sugar and a little milk, just how Caleb like it, and put the toast on a plate. Bringing breakfast in bed was buttering up 101, even if was just slightly cold toast and instant coffee.

‘It’s better than nothing,’ Katie shrugged.

Creeping into his room, Katie expected to find him huddled beneath the duvet. When he turned from his computer, shouting, “Hey, cuz,” Katie almost dropped the cup of coffee.

“Gah,” she gasped, placing her offering on his desk.

He frowned before taking one huge bite of the toast and thanking her and returning to whatever he was doing on his computer. Katie noticed he had added an extra screen and two extra towers, all plugged into a multi-socket extension lead and plugged in next to a signal booster.

“Your mum is going to need a job to pay for all this electric,” Katie commented.

“I pay the bills,” Caleb told her.

“You do?” Katie asked. She couldn’t imagine paying any of the household bills. Even if she had the money to do so, she wouldn’t know where to start.

“Yeah,” Caleb frowned, “It isn’t hard.”

“You didn’t come here to discuss the lecky bill though, right?” Caleb asked, spinning to face her.

“No,” Katie said. The nerves began in her stomach and worked their way up her throat. She tried to swallow them away, but they refused to budge.

“I have a favour to ask,” she managed to say at last.

Caleb rolled his eyes and smiled. He knew what she was about to say just as well as she did. It was a redundant conversation.

‘Why can’t he just say it’s okay?’ Katie pouted to herself.

“You know what I want,” Katie said

“You want my permission to date?” Caleb asked.

Anger boiled up, rising like a volcano, and threatened to erupt in a display of venomous seething rage. Katie had to force it down, swallowing the rage and her pride in order to have any hope of getting what she wanted. She had tried raging at him, shouting obscenities at him and had even thrown a punch his way. It hadn’t worked then, so why would it work now?

“Yes,” Katie sighed in defeat.

“Oh,” Caleb smirked. “Because I thought you didn’t need my permission, remember?”

It took every ounce of patience and self-control not to bite back. To tell him to go f**k himself and scratch his smug little face off.

“I was wrong,” Katie said evenly. She gritted her teeth together, forcing her mouth shut. An outburst now was not going to get her closer to seeing Jamie. She tried to conjure up a mental picture of him by way of an incentive, but every time she thought of Jamie the long-haired stranger from the other world flashed behind her eyes, dancing and smiling seductively.

“You know I make these rules for a reason. You should hear the way they talk about women. I wouldn’t let anyone I care about go anywhere near any of them. I’m not doing it to be mean,” Caleb explained.

‘Oh really, because I just thought you wanted to police my body, like the rest of the damn patriarchy,’ Katie thought to herself, iterating her mother’s words. She tried to keep her feelings from showing on her face, though it wasn’t easy.

“That is really caring of you, and I appreciate it, but Jamie is so different from the rest of them,” Katie tried to explain.

Caleb laughed. “He isn’t as different as you think.”

“Either way, I really like him. I just want a chance. If it doesn’t work out,” Katie gave an exaggerated shrug, “I’ll get over it. No harm done.”

Caleb gave a derisive snort and looked her up and down. “Or you get your little heart broken and I have to kick f**k out of a mate.”

“No, no, no, it won’t be like that. I swear—” Katie tried to explain.

“I swear you think life is some big fairy tale,” Caleb interrupted, shaking his head. As though the concept of a happy relationship was this unattainable dream. Who was he to explain the realities of life and relationships?

‘He’s younger than me for heaven’s sake, and never had a proper relationship,’ Katie thought, reaching the limit of her patience.

She tried to regulate her breathing, focus on staying the moment. Mindfulness was a technique she was trying to use to promote positive thinking.

“I have never had a boyfriend,” Katie admitted. “Not one. I know what people say about me, but it’s all based on how I look. I haven’t even had a first kiss. I’m eighteen and I have never even kissed anyone. I used to tell myself I was too unapproachable, but now I think about it, it’s probably what you did to Ed Myers head that’s scaring people off.”

“Wow, not even a kiss?” Caleb screwed up his face. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because,” Katie sighed and sat on the floor, still feeling dizzy from lasts nights antics. Her bruised bum sent a shock of pain all the way up to her ribs. “I want you to feel sorry for me.”

Katie made her most sad, pathetic looking face—what Haley called her “kitten eyes.”

“So? Will you help me?” Katie asked.

“Me helping you get laid is a bit weird, is it not?” Caleb asked.

“It isn’t about that. I think I love him. He’s… all I think about. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep—” Katie reeled off, knowing it sounded like a cliché, but it was true. Thinking about him made her stomach hurt and dreaming about him until the early hours robbed her of sleep. “It’s like… if I can’t be with him life has no colour or sound. It’s just flat. And it hurts.”

Katie looked up, trying to figure out what her cousin was thinking, and was shocked to see tears forming in his eyes. Had her words actually affected him?

“Just… please do this for me,” she begged.

“You don’t understand,” Caleb said, leaning forward and grabbing her under the chin. “You don’t know him. Just…trust me on this. Okay?”

Katie went to argue, to tell him that it didn’t matter. She would get to know him. Surely that was part of the joy of having relationships, to discover the other person. To unlock their mystery, create memories, form a bond.

As Katie opened her mouth Caleb jumped from his seat and started taking off the shirt and baggy sweatpants he wore to bed. He stared daggers at her, barking at her to go.

“Unless you wanna see me butt naked?” he added, throwing a T-shirt at her head.

Katie sighed and dragged herself from the room. She couldn’t help but notice the muscle definition on his stomach and had to mentally berate herself for sexually objectifying her own cousin.

“It’s still legal,” a little voice in the back of her mind whispered, making her shudder a little at the thought.

“Yuk, yuk, arrrgh.”