End of days

Chapter 48

Chapter 48

"But dad, what if she doesn't want me again after that? What if she decides to leave me?"

"Then, you will have to let her go, one thing I want you to know son, is that; you can't force love. When you try to force it, then it's no longer love"

That night, Rayford and his father discussed into the night until they finished the bottle of brandy and feel asleep on their seats.

Rayford woke up to the sound of someone snoring, he opened his eyes to see everywhere was getting bright. He checked his watch and saw; it was already six in the morning. He woke his father who was still snoring off on his chair.

"Don't tell me we slept off here?" His father asked as he wiped his face with the back of his palm.

"Yes we did, good morning Dad"

"Good morning my son, well I guess, I will just have to go to my room and continue sleeping. It's a good thing your mother is not around, if not, I wouldn't have heard the last of this" his father staggered off to his room as he spoke.

Rayford got back to his place to find Jane sitting down on one of the chairs in the living room.

"Good morning" he greeted as he walked past her to go upstairs.

"And where do you think you are coming from?"

"Not now Jane, please"

"I was worried sick about you all through the night, wondering where you were, and you come back to tell me not now?"

"You could have called, then I would have told you where I was"

"And you think I didn't do that? Your phone was switched off!"

Rayford had completely forgotten his phone battery had died, and he didn't remember to charge it, while he was at his parents' house.

"I'm sorry, I forgot my battery was dead"

"Where were you Rayford?"

"I was with my father" Rayford started climbing the stairs.

"We need to talk"

"I know, I just need to quickly shower. I will be down shortly"

When Rayford was done having his bath, he came back downstairs and met Jane in the same spot he had left her.

"Before you say anything, I just want you to know, I truly understand the need for you to take a break from us, and you have my support"

"Thank you, I just need sometime to think, that's all"

''What does that mean for us? Are you breaking up or something?''

''No, not at all, I'm not breaking up with you. I just want to go away from all of these and heal, that's all.

"I totally understand" Rayford pulled her in for a hug.

"I will be leaving for my sister's place tomorrow"

"Alright, no problem. Jane?" He called her as he still held her in a hug.

"Yes Rayford?"

"There's something you need to know"

"What is that?"

"I might have a thirteen year old son"

___________________

It's been two days since Jane left Lagos and came back to Enugu to be with her family. Since she arrived, her sister and her husband have been making sure she was comfortable, and had everything she needed. All she does is wake up, take her bath, eat, take her medications and rest. She wasn't allowed to do anything, not even sweep her room, her sister insisted she rests, and allow either her, or their house help to do the cleaning.

She only spoke with Rayford the first day she got here, to let him know she had arrived. And since then, they haven't spoken to each other. She told him she needed a break from everything, including calls, and he has been respecting that.

Amaka already told her about Martha and Sandra's involvement in their kidnap. She knew Rayford was trying to hide it from her. She doesn't really blame him, she knew he must be feeling guilty over his housekeeper and secretary's involvement in her kidnap.

She has been trying her best not to think about his supposed thirteen year old son. If he truly has a son, then would that affect their relationship? If they choose to get married, that automatically makes her a step mother to the boy, not just any boy, but a thirteen year old. How was she supposed to assume the role of a step mother to such a grown up child? And what of the baby mama? She is definitely going to be a constant factor in their lives, how was she supposed to deal with all of that?

"You know you can't continue treating me, like I'm a baby?" Jane said to Dami after a fruitless argument on whether or not she should do the dishes.

"Yes I can, you are still my baby sister, even if you like to think and act otherwise"

Jane knew she was referring to her leaving for Lagos, and refusing to come back home, or ask Dami and her husband for any financial help, even when she badly needed it.

"Look at you, you have really lost so much weight" Dami turned Jane around as she spoke. "You are not even supposed to step out of your room, because you really look feeble"

"I'm fine, you need not worry"

"You still haven't told me what happened to you, why do you have so much marks on your body? Though, I understand if you don't want to talk about"

When she came back, Jane didn't tell her family anything about her kidnap, and they never asked.

"Can we talk?" Jane asked Dami who was looking intently at her.

"Sure, let's go to the sitting room"

"Can we go to your room instead? Just like old times?"

Back then, when they just escaped from the Okafors, and moved to Enugu, whenever Jane was having a problem, Dami will always take her into her bedroom and they would talk about it.

"Sure, why not?" Dami looked really happy Jane wanted to bond like old times.

When they got to Dami's room, they sat on her huge king sized bed. "So what seems to be the problem?" Dami asked, as they both sat crossed-legs on the bed.

"First I would like to apologize, for not keeping in touch with you all these while. I know how you really tried for us to still stay in touch after I left, but I kept severing our relationship"

"What are you talking about? It's fine Jane. The most important thing is that you are here now, you don't know how happy I am that you have finally decided to come visit, and spend some time with us"

"No Dami, I need to get this off my chest, I always resented you for sending me to that therapist, when I was having difficulty sleeping because of my nightmares"

"But why? I was only trying to help you overcome the trauma of what happened to you at the Okafors, and when you said you wanted to stop seeing him, I didn't force you to go back"

"The therapist r***d me"

"He did what? How?"

"During one of my sessions with him, he hypnotized and r***d me. That was why I stopped going to see him"

''Why didn't you say anything?''

''It was that period you lost your first pregnancy, I didn't want to bring up another sad tale''

"I'm so sorry, I never knew about this, if I had known I would never have asked you to go see him in the first place"

"And I'm sorry for blaming you too, because none of it was your fault"

"I always had a feeling you resented me for something, but I never thought it was because of this, I still think that's not the only thing you resent me for though, there is something else, isn't there?"

Jane nodded.

"Then what is it?"

"Deep down I always thought you used me to achieve your desire of having Mr. Okafor killed"

"Why? Because I gave you that knife to protect yourself?"

"Yes"

"I'm sorry, I gave you that knife, I saw the way you suffered each night that monster r***d you, I only meant for you to protect yourself with it. I kept one for myself that night too, just in case he came to my room. After what happened to Peace, I knew we needed to do something, if not, we were going to end up just like she did" Dami was crying as she spoke. "Do you think, I don't feel guilty, every time you have those your nightmare s? I did, and the guilt always ate me up, that was why I insisted you visited a therapist, it was the only way, I thought I could help"

"I'm sorry I blamed you all these years, for something that wasn't your fault"

"And I'm sorry, I made you kill Mr. Okafor, and also sent you to that therapist"

"Does that mean we can hug now?" Jane asked, stretching out her arm for a hug.

"Definitely" Dami came closer and hugged Jane. "I missed you so much"

"Me too, I'm sorry I stayed away for so long"

"Please don't ever stay away for that long again" Dami pulled out of from the hug, "now that we have that out of the way, so are you going to tell me what happened to you? And the cause of all these injuries on your body?"

"It's a long story, where do I start from?"

"Well..... it's a good thing I don't have anywhere I'm going this morning, so you can start from the beginning"

Jane told Dami everything that has been happening to her, right from when Tania came into the picture, and how she was kidn*pped by Timothy. Then how she and Amaka got kidn*pped the second time by Rayford's housekeeper and her children, and now, Rayford's supposed thirteen year old son.

"Whew.." Dami blew out, "that seems like a whole lot, to happen to just one relationship"

"My point exactly, it's as if everything has been against us right from the very first day we decided to be in a relationship"

"Well, like they always say, 'love is like a battle field', sometimes you just have to fight for that which you love"

"But Dami, I have been fighting this battle ever since, I have even exhausted all the weapons in my arsenal, honestly I'm tired"

"So are you just going to give up? Just like that?"

"I don't know anymore"

"I think, you are making this only about yourself, have you ever stopped to think and ask yourself how Rayford feels in all of these too? Or do you think none of these has been affecting him?"

Truly, Jane hasn't ever considered how Rayford felt. She has been so self absorbed in her pains, she didn't realize he might be passing through his own pains too.

"Relationship involves a lot of hard work, and you must be ready to put in the necessary work required, because, it's not always going to be rosy"

''You do have a point'' Jane concurred with Dami.

"When you told Rayford all about your past, he accepted you not withstanding, he didn't judge you, and didn't leave you because of it. He loved you still. If truly he has a son, like he told you. Then that's his own baggage, you shouldn't leave him because of it. After all he accepted you with yours"

Dami paused, and took out her bible from under the pillow.

"Have you forgotten what the book of 1corinthians 13 verse 7, says? Love bears all things, believes all things, and hopeth all things. Look, the first verse even says; love is not selfish. Your love shouldn't be a selfish one Jane. Because if you think you are the only one who is allowed to bring in imperfections into the relationship, while he is to remain perfect, then that's you being selfish, and you are not being fair to him"

Jane sat there on the bed, digesting everything her sister just said to her, never did she think her actions towards Rayford was a selfish one. All she has ever done was think about herself, and not what he wanted or was going through. Meanwhile she always came first in all his decisions. She immediately felt ashamed of herself.