End of days

Chapter 3

Chapter 3

For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.' You can depend upon His promises. I know 'tis much easier to offer advice than 'tis to follow it. Before you speak with Rayford, you should pray and ask God to give you humility and insight into what Rayford's most important needs are."

 Leah Rose nodded, considering her friend's words.

"Remember, a wound unattended simply festers and becomes putrid. The same thing happens to a marriage if you avoid facing your problems or withdraw from your husband."

"I do not suppose you could give this same advice to Rayford?" Elizabeth smiled. "I do not think Rayford would take kindly to receiving advice from me. However, I can nudge Hugh into offering him some pointers on how to build a happy marriage. Hugh has often given Rayford fatherly advice in the past."

"Elizabeth, pray with me now?" "I would be happy to, Leah Rose."

Rayford stepped into the deserted mews and headed for Gaenor's perch. After donning the heavy gauntlet, he coaxed the falcon onto his hand. He stroked her feathers, singing her song. She shifted restlessly on his fist, as if she could sense his agitation.

He was a warrior. His first response to any opposition was to fight, subdue, and conquer. Obviously not the best strategy when dealing with one's wife, he realized in reproach. Guilt flogged him.

What exactly did he want out of his marriage? A willing bed partner, Sons, naturally. Companionship and friendship? He had never considered that a something he could have with a woman, but now that he had started to form the bonds with Leah Rose, he realized he wanted that intimacy with her as well. His heedles actions yesterday had probably destroyed whatever trust she had come to have in him of

"Kek, kek, kek," Gaenor screeched.

Being here in the mews had not soothed him as it usually did, and he was only upsetting the peregrine. He gently set Gaenor back on her perch; the incongruity of his care for the bird's feelings versus his lack of care for Leah Rose's wasn't lost on him. He ripped off the heavy leather gauntlet and threw it down before leaving the mews.

He strode to the armory, donned his chain mail hauberk, took up his sword, and marched toward the lists. Seeing Gordon standing idle while the other men trained, Rayford called him over. The clang of steel as he struck Gordon's sword with his own resonated within him. Here in the lists everything was simple and straightforward unlike the morass of his marriage. He fought fiercely, finding the less experienced knight little challenge for him. Totally absorbed in the contest, he lost all sense of time

passing as he relentlessly battled the younger man. "Pax, milord," Gordon begged.

Rayford drew his sword away and stepped back. Gordon bent over, his hands on his knees as he gasped for breath. Rayford looked around for another opponent. Spotting Roger fighting in a dilatorily manner with Matthew, he called the older knight over. Gordon hurried away as Roger came to take his place.

By the time Rayford was fighting his sixth opponent, his anger and guilt had been somewhat assuaged, and he no longer attacked as vigorously as he had to begin with Seeing Bernard tiring, he tempered his blow and raised his sword to await a counterattack. None was forthcoming as the older knight stood, shield raised defensively. Heavy lines framed Bernard's broad nose as he pressed his lips together in a straight line, accentuating his prominent chin. Bernard's eyes darted behind Rayford. "Milord!" Belwick called out. "May I have a word with you?"

Rayford stepped back and lowered his sword. Bernard visibly relaxed and exhaled deeply as his arms holding his shield and sword fell to his sides. Wiping some sweat from his brow, Rayford walked over to Belwick. "What is it, Hugh?"

"I fear for the safety of the men, Rayford." He kept his voice low so Bernard could not overhear. "You should not take your anger out on them."

"Tis better I take it out on them than..." Rayford realized what he was about to say.

"Than your wife?"

"Aye." Rayford admitted.

Unable to meet the older man's eyes, Rayford looked away. He realized for the first time that the lists, normally the busiest area of the castle as the men continually trained to maintain and improve their skills, were deserted. He watched Bernard walk quickly away from the practice field.

"A true knight controls his anger. He does not allow it to rule him. Not with his wife. Not in battle," Hugh admonished Rayford.

Rayford sheathed his sword in his scabbard and turned to face his mentor. Hugh was the only person, aside from his mother, from whom he would have taken such a rebuke. "Aye, you are right." Rayford clenched his jaw.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Rayford shook his head. "She will not let it go. She challenges my judgment and " Leah Rose objects to your decision to imprison Langston?" questions my commands." The words burst from his lips involuntarily.

"Aye. I told her that it was not her concern. That she had to stop undermining my authority."

"Rayford, are you sure that your judgment about Langston is not clouded by personal animosity toward him?" Hugh probed. "Could it be that you are jealous of his friendship with your wife?"

Rayford's mouth scrunched into a grimace, and his hands curled into fists at his sides as he stared at the ground. The silence stretched as he considered Hugh's words. Leah Rose had accused him of being jealous. Now Hugh was suggesting the same thing. Could it be true? "Mayhap, I am jealous."

"Marriage is a complicated business. It takes a while for a man to learn how to live with his wife. As you rub together, you will start to shape each other so that eventually you will fit together more smoothly. Unfortunately, the rubbing process can sometimes be very painful."

"Aye, that is certainly true."