My Second Chance at Love

Confessions?

Emma’s POV…

I snapped the best, sexiest picture of him. He was powerless under me. He started growling in my ear about how his d**k was mine and to grind on it while he was rubbing my c**t. I was lost. Everything inside me clenched deliciously. It was hard and fast. My insides were still pulsing and quaking and that’s when I heard it.

“I swear to god I love you,” then he was silent. I just kept breathing for a minute. I wonder if he regretted it. I know I feel things for him. I just don’t know that they’re love, not yet. I trust him. I appreciate him. I want him. I really like to look at him. I love the way he feels. Yeah, I do love that. Do I love him? I just don’t know.

“Andrew, what’d you just say?”

“Oh I love the way you feel.” He said it so quick and I feel the dishonesty in my soul. Yeah he seriously said he loved me. During s*x. Oh my god! I know the s*x is good, but confessing love good? I have to respond to him.

“Oh, okay, yeah. This is wonderful. The way you feel and the way we feel together.”

“Mmm hmmm it is. You think your sheets are done?”

“Probably. I’m enjoying sitting on you though.”

“Emma, let’s get your bed made and then I swear I’m gonna hold you all night long. I’ve been thinking about it all day. I just want to have you in my arms again.”

Part of me feels like he’s trying to get some space and the other part feels like he is being honest. I kiss him hard, pouring all my feelings into the kiss. He’s still inside me and he’s thickening. I wrap my arms around his neck and rub my breasts against his hairy chest. I bite his lip as I pull away. When I get up, I see that he’s over halfway hard. I strut to the downstairs bathroom, grab a towel and bring it to clean the couch with. I’m sure I caused a mess. He’s standing when I come in and looks like a caged animal.

I rub my hand across his chest, bend over and clean the couch, then I turn and wipe him off too. I make sure that he’s not soaking wet from me. I use the same towel to wipe up enough so I’m not an absolute mess. I lean into the dryer and grab my sheets. I walk up the stairs, leaving him downstairs to work through whatever has him in knots, although I’m sure it’s his confession. He’s got to acknowledge that it was just the s*x. He doesn’t love me and he’s definitely not in love with me.

When I get upstairs, I begin making the bed. I get the bed made and realize that I am still the only person upstairs. I go to the bathroom and wash my face. Honestly, I look good. Andrew has made me realize I’m worthy of a good man and that I’m actually good looking. I take a moment to see the changes. The bags under my eyes are almost gone. Even though I’m getting less sleep, the stress is gone. My acne is nearly gone. My skin is less oily. My hair is even shinier than before. Happiness looks good on me.

I brush my teeth and take out my contacts. I put on my glasses and head downstairs. I hear Andrew murmuring to himself about being a dumbass. s**t.

“Andrew, baby? You coming to bed? You promised to hold me. I’m gonna hold you to that promise.”

He rounds the corner out of the downstairs bathroom. He’s still naked and his eyes look stressed.

“Emma, s**t baby. I lied. I said what you think. I’m not there yet but I’m really f**kin close. I’m falling fast and hard for you and it scares the s**t out of me. You’re too damn good for me. I don’t deserve someone as good as you.”

I’m on him before he’s done. My arms are around him and my hands are stroking his back. “Shhhh, you’re good enough. You’re perfect for me. I feel a lot for you, but I just don’t know what those feeling are or what they mean yet. You mean more to me than you can know.”

He just kissed me so hard and I know he’s not close. He’s there. Dammit.

“Come on babe. Let me take you to bed,” he said as he checked to make sure the front door was locked.

We walked upstairs in silence. When we reached the landing, I grabbed his hand and we walked in together. Every single night in this apartment has been spent with him, either by phone or in person. I’m at home here because of him. He’s my home, not the apartment. We crawled in the bed together.

“Turn your ass to me. I want to feel perfection all night.” I could hear the smirk in his voice.

I turn and he pulls my back to his chest. We fit perfect together. He wraps and arm around my waist. He smells my hair and kisses my neck. I hear him groan into my ear and I’m at utter peace.

Do I love him? I’m really flipping close. The entire thought scares the s**t out of me. I am barely crawling out of the last screw up I found myself in. Love means marriage in my book, stability, a home, kids, shared money, a shared future.

What do I want in a future? I want kids, yeah but I want more than that. I want a man that loves me fiercely, that wants to protect me from hurt, not just the physical kind either. I want a man that wants to make sure I have everything I need and some of what I want. I want a home where I feel respected as a partner and a woman. I want a home where I’m an equal not an object.

Can Andrew provide that for me? He values me. He views me as a partner. He provides for my needs and many of my wants. He wants kids. He’s been protective emotionally, even from myself. Is he really what I’ve been wanting in a life partner? Obviously he’s the cherry on top, because he’s sexier than homemade sin.

Oh my god, I think I’m falling for this man. I’m not even damn divorced yet. I hope he isn’t a rebound. Is that really even a thing? I want him to stay for more than the weekend. I want him to be a permanent fixture in my life. Holy s**t. I’m actually falling for this man. Andrew Miller has wiggled his way into my freakin heart.

He’s become my absolute favorite person in a very short time. Now I’m the one scared shitless.

“Babe, you okay? You’re breathing hard. You having a bad dream? Emma?” Oh no!

“Ummm no. I was just thinking.”

“Babe? What’s going on in that brain of yours?”

“So I know where you are. I fell out of love probably two years ago. Maybe more. It was a slow process that I didn’t even realize happened. I’d just been cohabiting for years. I was miserable. For the first time in years, I’m actually happy and to be very honest I’m scared to death.”

I rolled over and faced him. I can’t see him in the dark but I can make out his form.

“You make me happy, Andrew. Like happy to my bones and I don’t know how I feel about it.”

“Yeah? Me too, girl. I’m happier now than I’ve ever been before. Why’d you hide from me for all these years?”

Finally my heart isn’t racing. I rub my hand through his beard and tuck the other between our chests. I tuck a leg down put the other over his. He tucks one between my thighs. We both rest in each other’s arms and I drift off to sleep.