My Second Chance at Love

All packed?

Emma’s POV…

As we pull into Rob’s, that’s odd to say, I make a game plan. I know he is down the road at his grandmothers. My dad will be here in thirty minutes. Court and I stopped at a dollar store on the way and snatched some boxes from the dumpster. We go straight into the master bedroom and divide up the job. She’s going to pack my hanging clothes and I’m going to pack my folded clothes. Once we finish the bedroom, she will go to the bathroom and I will go to the kitchen. From there I will clean off the entertainment center and by then my dad will be there. Thank goodness it’s a Saturday and I don’t have to work.

We get to work. As I’m working on packing, I remember Andrew messaged me. I pick up my phone and respond. What does he mean I’m his favorite dance partner? Ugh! I have to come clean and tell him I’m married. My life is complicated. He deserves to know. He doesn’t have to be honorable and keep me company because he rubbed all up on my ass and bought me a drink.

As soon as I respond he sends me a message with so many questions. Why, kids, how long? Damn.. okay I don’t have time. I’m trying to pack. Well… everything and nothing because there really wasn’t one single event that screamed this is it. It was a pile of s**t over time. No to kids, if he only knew how much I wanted them, but that’s never going to happen. My eyes instantly water as I type no kids. Over seven years. I don’t want him to think I’m ancient so I tell him I got married at 18. Now he should know about how old I am.

Geez, I should have known he was too intuitive and nosey. He wants to know what everything and nothing means. How do I explain this? I’m not pretty, I’m not skinny, I’ve got dimples in my ass cheeks, and my teeth are crooked. Hell my eyes aren’t even a solid color. Also, he needs to know that I won’t be second. I’ve done that for years and I’m done with it.

At this point I am no longer packing but crying. When did I fall out of love with Rob? It had to of been when he said he didn’t want to adopt because he couldn’t love kids that weren’t his own. Maybe it was all the times he said this dish or that dish tasted like s**t. His mom’s was always better. Court comes in and snatched my phone from me. She’s reading through everything as I’m seeing what I’ve known for seven years unraveling. When she hands me my phone I see that Andrew has said that I’m beautiful. The bar was dark and I was fully dressed. He doesn’t know my secrets. He wants to know what I come second to. I don’t have the energy to make anything more elegant so I just respond bluntly.

“Thanks. Porn.”

I toss the phone at Court and go back to packing. I’ve got to get everything done before my dad gets here. It’s like I’m mourning. All I keep thinking is who died? My dreams died. My hopes died. As I’m finishing up a shelf in the kitchen, Court comes out looking very proud of herself. She’s finished the bathroom. Dad pulls in and I kick it into overdrive. I don’t have time to figure out what she’s plotting.

He steps in and asks where Rob is. I tell him that he’s where he is every waking moment he isn’t at work, his grandma’s. My dad just nods his head. “Sweetie, when you get married, you visit family but your spouse is your priority. Not your mom or your grandma. I’m sorry you haven’t been his priority. You deserve better.” That hit so hard coming from him. My dad is so reserved and doesn’t show much emotion. This was it for me. I cried so hard. He, Court, and I began to load up everything that we’ve packed. It’s surreal, seven years worth of hard marriage all packed into a few boxes and a couple of furniture items.

We finish up and I text Rob to tell him that I got all my stuff. I ask him to pack up anything that I may have missed and let me know so I can pick it up. I tell him that tomorrow I’m going to get groceries and will be getting my own checking account on Monday along with us going to the courthouse to go file our papers.

I also tell him that I typed up simple divorce papers. His retirement is his, mine is mine. The mobile home we made our home is his. His truck is his. My car is mine. The time share is his. My student loans are mine. The credit cards are his. All furniture has been separated and will remain that way. I’ve got him a set on the stove to read over. He will need to contribute $45 toward the divorce, or we can just pay for it out of the joint account.

His response is simple, “F**k you Bi**h”

I gasp and my dad snatches the phone from me. He reads it and is immediately pissed. This is the first time he’s known of the countless times I’ve been referred to as a bi**h. He and my mom have never known. They always had so much respect for Rob, but apparently it just ended.

We load up into my car and dad’s truck, pull out of the driveway, and head toward my new apartment. I’m so exhausted already but so excited for the potential in front of me.

When we pull up, I take my new key and go unlock my door. We begin to unload everything into the apartment. I insist on setting up the kitchen first. I love cooking and a kitchen is necessary for that. While I’m working on that, dad is upstairs putting my new/old bed together. I had no idea, but my mom sent sheets and a comforter for me. How I didn’t even think of those, I have no idea. Before I know it, it’s dinner time and I realize that Court and I never even had lunch. Everything is unloaded and I have a bed, a kitchen table, a kitchen I can cook in, a tiny tv, a crap ton of DVDs, no DVD player, an entertainment center, a bookshelf for a dresser, all my clothes and jewelry, and my pawpaws picture.

Dad looks around, “Well Emma, it’s not bad. You need to eat kiddo.” He pulls a $20 from his wallet and hands it to me. He looks at Court and tells her, “make sure she eats something semi healthy.”

I hug him so hard and promise to call him and mom the next day. I walk him out and then Court and I decide on some Japanese for dinner. We go to our favorite restaurant and order. Dads $20 definitely doesn’t cover all of it, but it covers mine and most of Court’s. She picks up the rest and the tip. I take her back to her house and grab my overnight bag.

“You really gonna stay there tonight?” She tilts her head as she asks. “Yeah, why not?” I respond. In my mind it’s safe. Rob doesn’t know where it is. He can’t come and push me against a wall anymore. He can’t tell me how worthless I am. He can’t hurt me anymore.