Bennett

Elaine

I stood outside admiring the old red brick building with its floor to ceiling windows displaying all sorts of books new and old. This place had become my home in more ways than one. Even after the world I knew around me had fallen apart, I was always welcome here. After a moment or two I opened the door to Bennett’s Books, “Mari dear, I’m here!” I shouted. She was wiping her eyes. I asked her if she was alright, but she didn’t say anything. Even though she couldn’t seem to speak them the silence spoke for her. One of the things I hated the most was seeing Marina like this. She became a sister to me, and I admired her for how brave she was. She chased her dreams, and was an amazing person for it. 

It had been two months since Gramps had passed, but it hit her hard. Harder than it had hit me. I was there to say goodbye and tell him how much I loved him. Samuel was like a father to her, and she wasn’t here to tell him goodbye. I can’t even begin to imagine how she feels about it. Setting down my latte, I pull her into an embrace. I held back my tears and just let her cry silently on my shoulder.

After a while I sent her upstairs to calm down. It was my shift anyways. I spent the day stocking new arrivals and setting up this weeks bargain bin. There were a few books returned today so I took them to the desk and input them back into the system, as well as double checking no one had late fees due. A few people had come into the store and either bought books or checked them out through the library system. Marina had proposed the idea when sales started dropping. She programmed a whole rewards system and brought in a new POS system as well. She built a website and also taught us how to use the system properly. Sure enough after about of month of advertising, mouth to mouth and on the website, we were back in business. Gramps was so proud of her, and so was I. We knew she would do anything to keep the bookstore going. This was Grandma’s baby, and the only business Samuel kept after selling the others.

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Soon I was locking the door to Bennett’s Books. The day was over and I decided to go to Tranquility Café to grab Marina’s favorite, and some drinks. After thanking the Blackburn’s for the food, I made my way upstairs to Mari’s apartment. Somehow I managed to knock on the door with my hands full. Shortly after the door opened and I was let in. “I brought you something good Mari dear,” I practically sang to her knowing this would at least make her smile. I walked to the dining room and set down the box and handed her a hot Earl Grey with cream and honey. “I got your favorites!” I said, as she tried to hide a smile after taking her first sip of tea. 

She opened the box practically squealed. “Earl Grey cake and Green Tea Cheesecake!? You shouldn’t have!”

“Marina my dear, I know how much you love sweets, and you know how much you need this right now. Now I don’t want to hear you attempt to refuse this in any way.” I grabbed a couple plates from the cabinet and served her a slice of each cake, as well as taking one for myself.

“Oh Elaine, what would I do without you. Thank you so much for stepping up with everything that’s been going on.” She got up from her seat and came over to hug me. “You’re the best friend anyone could ask for.” 

I felt myself turn red with embarrassment. “Mar, if you don’t let go I will die from being unable to breathe.” Somehow I managed to choke out that sentence.

She looked at me and started laughing. “I’m so sorry!” she exclaimed. “I didn’t mean to.” With that she was off to her seat and enjoying her tea and cake. A few minutes later Marina had a far off look in her eyes and I could see she was reminiscing. “I miss Grandpa Sam.” She finally said after a long moment of silence. 

“I miss him too,” I said. “Did I ever tell you how I came to live with your grandparents?”

“No, you haven’t. I just know from what they told me that your family wasn’t the best and they took you in. I never asked you about it because I figured you would tell me when the time is right.”

Well I guess now was a good as time as any. After a few deep breaths I began my story.

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When I was young, my mother neglected, and mentally abused me. I think it was her way of coping with being a single mother. You see my father left us when I was three years old. I don’t really remember anything about him. Anyways, I think my mom never physically abused me because she didn’t want me to get taken away. I know she said she loved me, but sometimes it didn’t feel like it.

Around the time I was seven years old, my mother started to tell me that I was an “an ugly, bastard child” or that I was “raggedy, ungrateful” and at one point she said “You don’t deserve anything I’ve ever gotten you!” Then she proceeded to throw out all my clothes. I was left with only the outfit I had on. She made me wash that outfit every night, and left me to run around the house nude. Since it was winter and we had no heater, I ended up in the hospital with pneumonia. 

I remember it like it was yesterday. I was in the hospital for a week. Tired of being in my room, I had went out for a walk. Not being allowed outside, I settled for the hallways. Somehow, I managed to make the most out of my walk. I ran into an old man who showed me kindness. Since it was a first for me, I cried tears of joy. I don’t know if he felt bad for me or what, but he walked me to my room. When I asked him what his name was, he said to call him “Gramps”. He sat with me, and told me the story of how his daughter was born. He explained how excited, and nervous he had been. How he didn’t know he could love someone so much, unconditionally. 

Gramps was a stranger to me, but quickly he became something more. I confided in him, told him that I didn’t have anyone who loves me as much as he loves his daughter. That not even my mother loved me that way. I could see that he was holding back tears. Even so, Gramps kissed my forehead and told me that when I was released I should go by Bennett’s Books. He said that there would be a surprise waiting for me. 

A couple days later, I was released. My mother was there to take me home. Somehow, she became more agitated with me. Mom stopped bothering to hire a baby sitter. I was left home alone, often with little to no food. Mother worked three jobs just to pay the bills. She always ate at the restaurants she worked at, so groceries were never brought home. 

Since it was winter break, I often walked around the neighborhood picking up empty soda cans. My neighbor saw me one day and asked what I was going to do with all the cans I had been collecting. I told her that I wanted to recycle them so that I could help mother with some bills. My neighbor smiled and told me to wait for her to come back, that she wanted to give me something. After a few moments, she came back with three grocery bags full of crushed soda cans. The lady explained that she had a pretty big family and had the same idea of recycling her cans for a little extra cash. I thanked her for giving me them, and she hugged me and said that she was proud of me.

The next day I walked to the local mechanic. He bought my cans and I thanked him for his help. Afterwards I went to the grocery store. I bought spam, bread and cheese. Mom had come home for a nap in-between shifts; she seemed annoyed that I had food, but didn’t bother to ask me where I had gotten the money from. That night I filled up on spam sandwiches. For the first time in a long time, I had fallen asleep content and full. 

My routine had become set, collect cans for a few days, sell them and buy stuff for sandwiches. The furthest I ever walked was to the grocery store. That’s as far as I would go. It was within my comfort zone. However, I never stopped thinking about Gramps. I knew where Bennett’s Books was located since we passed it on the bus ride to and from school. It wasn’t too much further from the grocery store, but it was out of my comfort zone. A couple more days had passed before I found the courage to actually visit the book store. 

I found myself outside an old red brick building, books were displayed in the windows. For a while. I stood there in awe. It didn’t seem to have any sort of organization, but it was beautiful none the less. Eventually, I found myself opening the door. A bell jingled to signify a customer had entered. “Welcome in,” I heard a familiar voice say. I found myself smiling as I walked towards him. Once he saw me, a smile formed on his lips. “Elaine, its so nice too see you!” 

I was happy, tears blurred my vision as Gramps smiled. “Hi,” I mumbled shyly as I walked towards him. “H- how have you been?” 

“I’ve been doing well. How about yourself, Little One?” Little one? I have never been called anything other than insults am now being called Little One. This term of endearment had sent the already formed tears falling. “It’s alright,” he said as he closed the distance between us pulling me into an embrace. “This is a safe place. You don’t have to cry anymore.” Gramps wiped the tears from my eyes. “Come on Little One, there’s someone I would like you to meet.” I nodded, and followed him to the seating area located in the back of the store. An elderly lady sat in the far corner reading one of the thickest books I had ever seen. She glanced above her book, and her deep brown lit up when she saw Gramps.

“Samuel dear, who is this?” 

“Remember when I told you I met the sweetest little girl at the hospital?” She nodded. “Well here she is. Her name is Elaine.” He turned towards me. “Elaine, this is my wife. Her name is Penelope.” Gramps leaned in and whispered, “Call her Grandma Penny. She loves that.” 

“Hi, Mrs. Grandma Penny.” I said embarrassed that I had said “Mrs. Grandma”. 

Grandma Penny chuckled. “It’s okay Sweetie. I know how it can be meeting new people. Come sit with me.” She said while patting the empty spot next to her. “Samuel told me about your situation, and my heart went out to you. I do apologize if this is weird for you, but I made you a few things.”

I hadn’t noticed that Gramps had left us, but I did notice when he came back with a gift bag. A wide grin covered his face as he handed me the bag. I looked at Grandma Penny, and she gave me the go ahead to look inside.

One by one I pulled out what looked to be hand knit items. The first was a pink and purple blanket. The second was a hat, and the third was a sweater, both were the same color scheme. Once again tears flooded my eyes. This time I didn’t try to stop them. I felt arms wrap around me, as I started sobbing uncontrollably. “Than-thank you so mu-much!” I cried, as I wrapped my arms around Grandma Penny. “This means so much to me!” 

“I knew you would love it,” gramps said. “You’re welcome here anytime Little One. It’s getting late so let me take you home.” I nodded and got up. “Penny dear, would you mind watching the shop while I drive her home?”

“Not a problem, I can handle this.” She hugged me one more time before telling me bye. “I’ll see you again soon Sweetie.” 

The drive home felt really short. I found myself wishing it was longer. I enjoyed listening to Gramps talk about his granddaughter who was a few years older than me. He said that she was taking a computer class, and that I would meet her next time I visited. I smiled thinking that I could possibly make a friend. 

That night my mom came home intoxicated. She had gotten fired from her primary job because she had gotten arrested for doing drugs in the parking lot before her shift. After that she had become more and more agitated with me. Mother threw away the food I had bought myself. Over the course of a few days my belongings started to disappear. The miniature heater, given to me by the mechanic was gone. The blanket Grandma Penny knitted for me also disappeared. A few days a week I would go to Bennett’s Books just to get away from home since mom was there more often now. 

One day mom brought a man home. She was knocking things over and yelling that she needed to lay down. I sat in my closet waiting for her to calm down before I dared to leave my room. A few hours passed before I was confident that she had fallen asleep. I slowly opened my door and walked to the living room. The noise from the television was the only sound I could hear. My mother and the strange man were strung out on the couch. Shattered glass covered the floor around them. The smell of alcohol lingered in the air. I grabbed a bottle of water and brought it to my mom. She was laying on her back. When I got closer to try and turn her on her side I noticed that she wasn’t breathing. I ran to the kitchen and dialed the emergency number on the fridge. An ambulance came and took both my mom and the man away. At the hospital I was asked if there was anyone I could go to for the time being. I nodded and asked for someone to call Grandpa Sam the owner of Bennett's Books.

It was late and the shop was closed, but I got lucky. A nurse who regularly visits the store called Gramps. A little while later both Grandma Penny and Grandpa Sam showed up in the ER waiting room. I clutched the blanket I was wrapped in, trying my hardest not to cry. Grams sat next to me and wrapped her arm around my shoulder. “It’s okay Sweetie. Samuel is talking to the nurses to find out what’s happening. Its okay to feel scared in a situation like this.” I wanted to say something but the lump in my throat wouldn’t let me say a word. Instead I started sobbing. I didn’t want to crying over my mother. She hated every fiber of my being, but I still depended on her. Deep down I still loved her, and had hope that she would come to her senses. I wanted her to love me. 

“Mrs. Harp is in a coma.” I heard Gramps say to Grandma Penny. “They don’t know when she’ll wake up. The nurses were able to tell me that she had overdosed.” I had no clue what they were talking about, so I just listened to their voices fade away as I fell asleep. 

I woke up on a couch in an unfamiliar place. Someone was humming a lullaby near me. Rubbing my eyes, I sat up to see who it was. Grandma Penny turned out to be the source of the tune. She was sitting in a rocking chair, knitting what looked to be a scarf. Continuing to look around, I noticed stockings on a fireplace. A scarcely decorated Christmas tree. Below it was an open box of ornaments. On the floor a few feet away were three rolls of wrapping paper. In front of me was a dark brown coffee table with a mostly finished jigsaw puzzle featuring two ducks in a pond. There was an unopened bottle of water placed on a coaster next to the puzzle. Realizing I was thirsty, I reached for the bottle. 

“You’re awake?” I heard Grams say. She was smiling softly as she spoke to me. “Would you like to stay with us while your mom is in the hospital?” she asked. I nodded. I didn’t have anywhere else to go. 

Several months passed, but my mother never recovered. She ended up passing away. Grandpa Sam explained to me that mom had gone to a better place.

__________

“Your grandparents took me in when I had no where to go. I love them for that. Plus I got to meet you in the process.” I could see that Marina wanted to cry more, but she held back her tears. She looked at me and smiled widely. 

“Thank you for telling me your story Elaine.” She seemed to be reminiscing again. “Gramps was a good person.” I couldn’t help but smile in return.