Reordinate the Fate

Fourth Destination: Midnight Talk

"It so loud. It feels like this tent has been dropped by pebbles from the sky.” Stevan said as he looked up at the top side of the tent, "I hope this tent will last until the rain stops." The boy continued.

"If this tent collapses in a heavy rain, then it is also your fault as you were the one who built the tent yesterday."  Max replied while lying on the corner side closest to the tent cloth-door, "But you're right, rain like this could possibly cause the tent to collapse." The man glanced outside, "The water is splashing out and the riverflow looks faster, the volume is also rising."

"We'll be safe." Risa said, "I just feel okay with this thing."

“Don't you guys want to rest? The smell of rain made me sleepy at once.” Stevan speaks again.

"You are always sleepy, lazy!" Risa gives a little punch to Stevan who's sitting beside her in his stomach.

"It hurts, Freak!" Stevan exclaims all of sudden.

"Gosh, I'm sorry!" Risa touches Stevan's stomach gently, "Are you okay?"

"Stop touching me!" Stevan feels the strange looks of the other three. Cliff and Will give a questioning look, because usually Stevan and Risa is that close to 'touching each other'. But that's not it! It is the gaze of one person that's laying on his other side that made Stevan said that.

Stevan glares at Max for uncountable time. The man was staring at him with his teasing eyes. "Stop staring at me, you i***t!"

"What is wrong with you? Why do you seem so sensitive these days?” Risa opens her mouth to ask at the end. Risa did find Stevan a little strange, but at first the girl thought it was just a conjecture. But getting further away, this friend did look really strange.

"No. There is nothing." Stevan shook his head vigorously.

Risa narrowing her eyes in disbelief, "You're weird."

Stevan is afraid that the more he talks, the more Risa would be suspicious of his actions, so he is choosing to lie down. "Maybe I'm just tired and sleepy. I am going to sleep. Good night!" The man turned his back on Risa and trying to sleep by closing his eyes tightly, ignoring the girl's strange look at him.

Gone are these feelings! Get lost!

★★★

Stevan awake because of hearing the sound of raindrops becoming louder. With his eyes half open, he turns his position to sit and looking around. The inside of the tent is still dry, but the air inside the tent is slightly damp, although it's still cold, but there is a warmth that feels sticky and uncomfortable on the skin.

Stevan looks at the people around him with the help of the lights that still on. Max who was and is the closest to the tent door seems to be sleeping soundly. When he turns to the other side, two pairs of legs with the owner asleep can also be seen.  Cliff and Will occasionally move their feet in deep sleep.

Wait! It means....

"Are you awake, Freak?"

"Jeez!"

Risa sits next to him all the time, with her hands hugging her knees. "You surprised me! How long have I been asleep?"

"I have no idea. Maybe it's midnight now. But I’m not sure." Risa loosened her hug on her knee and takes the trousers that were on her lap, “Yours. Put it in the backpack before it gets messy and stepped around in the tent.” Stevan takes it and sets it close to him. He will put it in later.

"Why don't you sleep then?" asked Stevan.

Risa shook her head, "We need someone to be the guard for ourselves. The water can comes in whenever." Stevan watches the outside through the slightly slit door of the tent. The water in the creek was getting higher and the ground was wet and seems so muddy. He doesn't even want to imagine what will their shoes be like when they have to walk out tomorrow.

“Beside that, I can't sleep either. Very noisy."

Stevan clearly knows something about this, “Ah! Your-... That's right."

Suddenly, Risa leans closer to Stevan and hugs the boy's upper arm firmly. Stevan, understanding the situation, chose to calm over his childhood friend by hugging the girl's shoulder and bringing her head to his chest.

"It is okay. The rain will stop soon."

"I still miss him often times." Risa closed her eyes, "Really miss him."

Heavy rain was also the situation at night when Risa's father breathed for the last time. After suffering from an auto-immune disease for several weeks, Risa's father felt that he had seen enough of the world and returned to the Creator.

Stevan did not see it directly, because he didn't know Risa at the time, but he got the story from the girl in his arms. When it rains heavily, she doesn't feel traumatized or afraid, the noise of the rain only makes her remember and miss her father who was the closest person to Risa.

"You have to miss him. It is a must. He's the most important person in your life."

Risa nodded, “Of course. He's the most valuable person. But he is now not alone at the bottom of my heart. There is another person who is as precious as my dad.” Risa returns Stevan's hug by wrapping her finger around Stevan's stomach, "You."

Risa can hear it clearly afterwards. Stevan's heart beat.

“Stevan, are you sick?"  Risa asking without trying to get away from the boy.

"W-what?" Stevan tries to release himself from the hug of Risa, but the girl hugging her tighter. "You're sick, Stevan. You’re absolutely is. Your heart is beating like crazy. Why didn't you tell us? You have any allergy? Or are you afraid of the rain?”

"No, I—" Stevan gives up and stops his attempts to get away from Risa. “I'm not sick. Maybe you heard wrong. The sound of the rain pounding the side of the tent could be sound like the sound of my heart, right? It's just a—"

“You think I'm stupid. Obviously the sound comes from within here.” Risa touches Stevan's chest. "You keep denying it." Risa loosened her arms and looked at Stevan, "Could it be that you ..."

Stevan shook his head, “Don't think about something nonsense int the midnight please. I am really not sick or anything.”

Risa also shook her head, "No. It possibly not because of sick. Can it be that you feel nervous... for being close to me, Stevan?”  Risa's sharp gleaming eyes reflected by the light inside the tent. "Is it true?"

Stevan tightened his jaw. He doesn’t know what and how to reply now. Why has it become clearer since he realized and told Max about the feeling? Does this also happen to people when they telling others who they like? That feeling considers itself to have its freedom? Overreacting to something that was originally thought to just be a wishful thinking?

"Stevan." Now Risa is let go of their arms and touches Stevan's shoulders to face him. "Answer my question. Honestly, do you like me?”

 Stevan can't answer it as no. He replies it exactly the same as the answer he gave to Max at that time, "O-of course! I like you because you are my best friend. How can I not like you? We've been friends since childhood!”

Stevan's heart pounding wildly as he said this. Stevan doesn't want to be more than a friend to Risa. But his heart demands different things! Plus, Risa's entire pretty face can be seen right in front of him now.

"As friends, right?"

Stevan nodded quickly. Just want to get rid of this situation faster. Risa snorted with little laughter, "So you like me as a childhood friend," Risa releases her grip on Stevan's shoulder, "You’re right. That's how it has to be." Risa returns to her first position, bend her knees and hug it. Listening to the sound of the rain slowly subsiding.

"Stevan,"

The boy glanced with a more controlled heart. "Hm?"

"We were friend, we are friend, and will remain to be friend. Always be someone most precious to each other. Right?" Stevan nods briefly even though he knows Risa didn't see him.

"Right, we are friends." Risa answers her own question. "Forever will be friends. Even if a letter was sent by fate, it wouldn't lead me to think of you as more than a friend to me. So I hope there is no love to each other more than liking. You know, love is greedy Stevan. It wants to get more even though reality makes it impossible. It surely can destroy another relation instantly. You can like me, you can even love me.  But don't be greedy and expect more.”

Risa looks at Stevan deeply, "Or things will shatter and maybe worse."

Stevan fall to a long silent afterward. He gazes blankly far ahead. "Of course. You are right." Stevan smiling with a heart feels not right. "The rain has started to stop. You can sleep now, can't you?” Risa nods and laying her back on Stevan. Leaving the man who has to kill all his feelings in silence.

If you say that Risa is insensitive about the situation, you are wrong. The sudden awkwardness between them, also Stevan and Max's seeming to know something made Risa look into the situation and immediately find out what was going on. Her friend apparently have slightly feelings for her. It's obvious seen in his attitude that's really strange lately, perhaps because Stevan has some times to pay attention to her. Usually he is very focused on himself. This was the first time she realized Stevan's feelings.

But she doesn't know how to deal with this. Just knowing her bestfriend's feeling itself already made Risa secretly stressed out. Thoughts pass her mind like a flash. Risa won't like it when their status changes. No. Risa only wants Stevan as a friend. She only love Stevan as a friend and Stevan should know that. So she told all the things indirectly. She's hoping that Stevan understands about that codes.

Yes. They just can be friends.

★★★