Fight for me

Chapter Three

I lay in bed thinking of the day i had. My stomach knotted with embarrassment thinking about James, i made the biggest fool of myself. 

My body was so full of lust and the ache between my thighs took over. I buried my face in my pillow, how could i have misjudged a situation so badly? 

****

"Rosa, no" James said with a sigh.

I looked up into his eyes and couldn't read was he was thinking.  

"We cant do this" He said.

I looked to the ground, "I.." what was i trying to say? 

"I.. I'm sorry" i said before grabbing my things and running out the door. 

"Rosa wait" I heard James call out. I stopped but didn't turn around. "Intermediate classes are on every Monday, Wednesday and Friday at six. Please come" 

I looked over my shoulder and nodded before running towards home.

****

What was wrong with me? Of course he couldn't possibly be feeling the same things i was. I groaned thinking that i had to see him again at school on Wednesday. I cuddled into my doona willing sleep to take me. It didn't take me long before i was out. 

++++++++

Tuesday past me by pretty uneventfully. Lily, Adrian, Tyler and i all decided to go to the mall after school. We did some shopping and ate at this new little cafe that was supposed to be really good. 

Adrian was flirting with Lily like crazy, she pretended not to be interested but i could tell she was loving every second of it. Tyler and I decided to go and look for a new video game for him and leave the two alone. She gave me a sly wink as i was walking out. 

Once i was home i realised that i was alone. Savouring the moment i grabbed my pyjamas and made my way to the shower. I sank to the floor. How was i going to face him tomorrow? I pulled my knees up and placed my forehead onto them. I contemplated taking a sick day but then thought of being trapped in the house all day with Steve, I couldn't do that. There was only one thing i could do, put my big girl pants on and face him. 

I woke up the next day determined not to let my mistake ruin my learning to defend myself. I put on a red summer dress that sat just above the middle of my thighs and packed a bag with gym clothes. I brushed my hair and looked at myself in the mirror, i took a deep breath, bracing myself for the day and walked out the door. 

I met up with Tyler before the bell rang and we walked to the bathrooms to get changed before our self defence class. When i heard the bell ring my nerves stood on edge. I was determined not to let them get the best of me. When i walked into the class i realised we were the last to enter. 

"Well, its nice of you two to join us" I looked over and realised James was looking at us, his lips pressed into a hard line. 

I bowed my head and quickly walked to the back of the room. The entire lesson he didn't look at me, which was fine by me. Tyler and i had a lot of fun, even though i accidentally kicked him in the balls, twice. He laughed it off and pretended to wrestle me to the ground when we were practising our controlled sparing. He got in trouble about that. The time went by so quickly and i was a little disappointed when the bell rang. 

I had just grabbed my bag and was about to walk out when i heard my name being called. 

"Rose" James called out. 

I stopped, i looked up to Tyler, "I'll see you in a bit okay"

He looked confused, "Ahh, yeah okay" he said before walking out. 

I turned towards James, i wanted to prove that i wasn't ashamed or embarrassed about what had happened at his gym on Monday, so i looked him directly in his eyes. 

"Yes sir" i said way to sweetly. 

He hesitated for a second before asking.. 

"I'll see you in class tonight, right?"

"Yes sir" i replied again. 

His jaw clenched and again he hesitated. 

"Good" was all he said before turning around and walking towards the equipment he needed to pack. 

I walked off feeling pretty damn proud of myself. No way was i letting him get to me, i just needed to concentrate on learning all i could from him and that was it. Id never have to see him again after that. 

+++++++++

For the third time tonight my body came crashing down onto the ground. I was at James's gym getting my ass kicked, and Sam was beginning to get on my nerves. 

"Come on Rosa you got this" I heard James yell out to me. 

I was pissed, and 90% sure he was cheating somehow. I jumped back up onto my feet, with the biggest scowl on my face i looked at Sam. 

"Uh-oh, Rosie's getting mad" He taunted, my stomach instantly felt sick at being called that. 

"Don't call me that" I spat out

"OOH, doesn't Rosie like that" He said again with a laugh. 

I lost control, i started running towards him yelling "don't f*****g call me that!" 

I used his slow reflexes to my advantage and before he knew what was happening i had jumped onto him and flung myself onto his back, i wrapped my elbow up and under his chin, cutting off his airways. He fell to the floor trying to claw me off of him. He was on his knees trying to buck me off but my legs were firmly wrapped around his waist. I vaguely registered him tapping my arm, or the calls from James telling me to let go. Suddenly i felt someone come up behind me, pulling me away from him. It wasn't until i seen Sams face that i had realised what i had done. I looked up to see James's face staring down at me with worry clear as day all over it. I quickly pulled myself from his grip and crawled over to were Sam was on the ground trying to catch his breath.

"Oh my god Sam. I'm so so sorry. Are you okay? I didn't mean to.."

He held up a hand for me to stop, "I'ts all good Rose, i shouldn't have been taunting you like that. Its my fault."

"I'ts not your fault, i shouldn't.." i started saying before i was interrupted, James had grabbed my upper arm and lifted me up onto my feet and was dragging me towards the door. He opened it, pushed me through and closed the door behind both of us. 

"What the f**k happened in there" He asked me calmly, but i could tell he wanted nothing more then to yell at me. 

"I'm so sorry" I said looking down at the ground. Tears started to pool in my eyes "I didn't mean to..."before i could finish he grabbed my chin and forced me to look at him. 

He stared into my eyes as if assessing me. 

"He called you Rosie" He said, my eyes instinctively shut and i felt my body shiver. The pools in my eyes over flowed leaving light trails of tears down my cheeks. 

"Who else calls you that Rosa?" He asked. I just shook my head unable to speak. 

I heard him sigh before he moved his hand from my chin to cup my cheek. He lowered his forehead until it was placed against mine. 

"You will tell me one day Rosa" 

He lifted his head and placed a soft kiss on my forehead. 

"Come back in when your ready" He said before walking back inside. 

I slumped myself down onto the cold concrete of the stairs and held my head in my hands.

 I let the tears fall as i thought about how i let my emotions get the best of me. If i was going to continue with classes i would have to get a grip on myself and not let my emotions control me. 

I wiped the tears from my face with the back of my hand and walked threw the doors. Everyone went quiet as they looked towards me. 

"I'm really sorry guys, i didn't mean to loose control like that and i will never let it happen again" I said to everyone. 

I looked at James who still had worry all over his face. 

"Don't worry about it Rose" I heard one of the guys say "We've all wanted to choke Sam out at some point during class" 

They all seamed to enjoy that and nodded there heads in agreement. A small smile played on my lips as i said.. 

"Well, better let me finish what i started then" 

They all laughed, including Sam but i could see he was hesitant about it. 

The rest of the class went by without a hitch, i even beat Sam again, fair and square this time though. 

As we were all walking out James called after me. 

"Yeah?" i turned to look at him

He was walking over to me but not making any eye contact. When he reached me his eyes knitted together as if trying to figure out what to say. 

"I.." he began to say, he scratched his forehead before continuing "I want to give you my number, in case you ever need me, for any reason. Day or night" 

He handed me his business card with his personal number scribbled on it in marker. 

I traced the hand written numbers with my thumb, each one looking more out of place then the last. I could tell he didn't give his number out so easily. I felt like hugging him, but didn't want to make that mistake again. He knew that there was something i was hiding and he was trying to help. 

"I.. You.. Thank you" was all i could manage to say. It was so sweet i almost cried. Trying to break the tension i said "What if its 3am and i really really want some ice cream?"

He visibly relaxed and let out a small laugh. 

"I'll be there" He said with a smile. 

I smiled back "Honestly, thank you! This really means a lot"

His smile faded. "I mean it Rosa, If your ever in trouble i want you to use it. Don't hesitate, just call or text or whatever. Can you promise me that?"

I nodded my head. 

"Use your words, Rosa"

I chuckled and rolled my eyes "Yes Sir, Promise Sir"  I didn't want him to see how vulnerable i felt from his kindness, its been a long time since I've felt such things. 

He visibly tensed, i looked into his eyes and seen... Lust? No it couldn't possibly be, he rejected me. I looked away remembering the other night. 

"I better get going" 

I slowly walked home, bracing myself for whatever i was about to walk into. 

I quietly opened the door and peered my head in, i noticed Steve asleep on the lounge and let out a silent breath of relief. I tip toed through the house, grabbed my PJ's and hopped in the shower.

I sat on the ground and let the water cascade over me. I kept thinking about James, about how kind he truly was. Then images of our hug made there way into my thoughts, the ache i felt between my legs made a come back and it was almost to much to bear. I quickly opened my eyes blinking rapidly as water hit them. I moved my head out of the flow and rested it against the wall. I couldn't do that, i couldn't touch myself thinking about him. Every time i seen him i would be reminded of it, but my arousal got the better of me. I slowly started to play with my n*****s, squeezing just hard enough to extract a little bit of pain. I let out a small moan as i trailed my right hand down towards my thighs. I kept my eyes open to try and keep his face out of my thoughts. I slowly started to tickle up and down my thigh before moving my hand towards my aching core. I started tracing slow circles around my c**t, my god it felt good. My eyes rolled back as i felt my release approaching. I couldn't keep them open any longer and my brain was flooded with images of him, his eyes and his beautiful lips. I remembered the feeling of his bare chest pressed tightly against my hard n*****s. I pinched my n****e, that was still in my left hand, and let out a moan as the intensity of the pleasure shocked me. I wasn't the kind of girl who regularly played with herself, but the few times i had, felt nothing like this. 

I pictured his hands on me, touching me where my hands were. I imagined his lips on mine as he brought me undone, and just like that i came. The intensity was unlike any id ever felt and i almost cried out before biting down hard on my lips trying to stifle the sound. 

I lay back trying to catch my breath.

Just then i heard a loud bang on the door.

"Where the f**k have you been you little w***e!?" Steve started yelling. The bliss i had just felt quickly evaporated and was replaced with fear. He started pulling at the knob of the door trying to open it, but the lock prevented him from doing so. 

I quickly jumped up and turned the water off, i rush dried myself and put my PJ's on. 

"Answer me Rosie" He continued yelling "You f*****g w***e! Coming home at all kind of hours of the night" I looked at my phone and seen it was only 7:30. 

"N-no, i-i was at the g-gym, i swear" I stuttered back

I heard a booming laugh followed by "You expect me to believe that your fat ass goes to the gym" he continued laughing. "Now open the f*****g door" 

I ran to my phone, instantly thinking of James, f**k! i hadn't saved his number yet. Panic started to flow through me and i couldn't think of what to do, what to say. 

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry" was all i could think of. I sunk to the ground and wrapped my arms around my legs and started rocking. It felt like an eternity had past before he stopped screaming and another eternity before i built up the courage to uncurl myself from the ground. My hands were shaking as i reached for the lock, i took a deep breath to calm my nerves. Slowly i turned to knob and peeked an eye out of the slit in the door. I couldn't see him, but i heard voices. I tried harder to hear who it was and realised my mother was home. I let out a sigh and quickly ran to my bedroom. Steve never raised his voice at me when my mother was around. I sunk into my bed, my eyes the only thing visible from above my quilt.

My eyes didn't leave the door, i remember myself drifting in and out of sleep but majority of the night i was either crying or praying that Steve didn't come back to finish what he started. I eventually woke to my alarm, my head still groggy and eyes sore from crying so much. I willed my body to move, to get up out of bed. I dragged my feet off until they hit the floor and managed to pull my body up until i was sitting up right. I rubbed my eyes trying to wake myself up. I looked over to my phone and pulled it off charge, under it was James business card. I immediately grabbed it and put his mobile and business number in. I traced his number with my thumb again, admiring his hand writing and sat it back down on my bed side table. 

I didn't dare of having a shower this morning, i knew Steve would probably be still passed out but there was no way i was risking it. Instead i got dressed, i chose tight black jeans, black boots and a maroon T-shirt. Images of last night flooded my memory and i collapsed on my bed again. I was so weak, i could have opened the door and confronted him, i knew almost enough from my self defence classes to have beat him but i let my fear get the best of. I willed myself to be strong, to be brave. I jumped up from my bed and threw my hair up into a messy bun that sat on top of my head, i desperately needed concealer to cover the bags under my eyes and i packed an overnight bag and ran out the door. 

I pulled out my phone and called Lily, she answered on the second ring.

"Whats up girl?" 

"Hey what are you doing right now?" i asked.

"I just finished getting ready for school, why? What are you doing?" she replied.

"Walking towards your house so you can take me out for coffee before we have to listen to Mr Mercer whine about something really boring that happened to someone really old about 1000 years ago" 

She laughed, "Best idea you've ever had" she said "Im jumping in the car right now" 

"See you soon" i said before hanging up.

Not long after i seen her car driving down the road, she pulled over and i hopped in.

"What happened to you?" she asked "you look like s**t"

I half laughed, trying not to let her see my emotions. "Gee thanks Lil" 

"We definitely need to pump some coffee into you" She said before driving off to a cafe just around the corner from school. 

We walked in and ordered then took our seats and waited for them to bring it over to us. 

"So, i have something to tell you, and you cant hate me okay?"

I eyed her suspiciously, "What?" i asked.

She let out a breath before speaking. "Okay so, i know that we always spend the day together on your birthday and i know that its next weekend but.." She paused and looked up into my eyes "My mum won an award for being the best relater in the state, or something like that, and we have to travel into the city and go to some big ball for her to make some big speech.. and.. its the same weekend as your birthday" my heart sank, ever since my father died we made it a tradition to always spend the day together, shopping, watching movies and eating way to much junk food. 

Noticing the sadness on my face she quickly kept rambling on..

"My mum and dad are leaving on Friday morning but i convinced them to let me stay and drive myself up on Saturday, so we can ditch classes on Friday and spend the entire day together instead, I've even planned something super special for Friday night" 

She truly was the greatest friend anyone could ask for. 

"That sounds awesome Lily, but ill only agree to it on one condition" I said.

She smiled, "and what would that be?" 

"Sleep over tonight at yours" I replied back 

She giggled "Ew, if i have to" she joked. 

We both started to laughed. 

We drank our coffee and chatted about school. She admitted to me that she was starting to have feelings for Adrian, i was so excited about that! They would be so cute together. I tried to get her to tell me what she had planned for my birthday but she wouldn't budge. The only hint she gave me was to wear something drop dead gorgeous, that frightened me a bit. 

I could feel my body relaxing and letting go of the previous nights drama and by Friday i felt like myself again, I kicked Tylers ass in our schools self defence class and James praised me for the entire class to hear, that boosted my confidence sky high and by the end of the day i was on cloud nine. 

When i got to the front of my house i noticed the garage door was up and Steve's truck was no were to be seen. Thank f**k for that. I walked inside and threw my things onto the floor of my bedroom and went and had a quick shower. I still had about an hour until i needed to be at the gym but i started getting ready anyway, opting for black yoga pants with a red stripe down either side and a matching black sports bra. I had plenty of time so i put my hair into two reverse braids, i sat back and admired my work. Not bad, i was just about to hop up and check my phone when i heard yelling, my head shot straight to the door, Steve was home. I froze, oh no, oh no no no no. 

"Rosie! " I heard him calling out. I started crawling backwards until my forearms hit the bed. I heard footsteps getting closer and closer. I quickly jumped up and pushed myself into the corner of the wall. 

Just then my door swung open and Steve stood in the door way, his eyes scanned the room before they found me and a sick smile formed on his lips.

"W-where were you l-last night R-Rosie?" He hiccuped, oh no, he was drunk. 

"I was at Lily's" i whispered. 

He laughed and started to walk inside, every hair on my body stood up on edge. My body still shaking. 

He turned and closed the door behind him. No! no no no. I tried to make myself invisible, i pushed myself as far back into the wall as possible. He walked over to the edge of my bed and towered over me. 

"WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT LYING!" he screamed at me. My eyes widened in terror, he reached down grabbing my ankles pulling them from under me until i was laying down with my legs spread around his hips, he pressed himself into me and i tried to let out a scream but he quickly covered my mouth with his hands. 

"That's it Rosie, keep struggling" He slurred, he jabbed one of his elbows into my ribs to hold me down, the amount of pain radiating through my body was beyond anything id ever physically felt. I tried to scream again but he slapped me so hard it made me dizzy. I tried to blink away the haze, when my eyes came back into focus i noticed his free hand was undoing his fly, he shoved his hand down his pants and starting pulling on him self. The sick feeling in my stomach intensified, this cant be it, it cant be how i lose my virginity. James face all of a sudden flashed into mind, Fight Rose! You know what do do, You can do it! 

I willed myself to focus, i looked down and noticed him clawing at my pants. "NO!" i screamed out, i pushed past the pain still radiating through my ribs, i remembered my first night of training at James gym, I slipped my hips to the side and brought my leg up, but instead of kicking his thigh, this time i kicked him right in between his legs. He cried out in pain and fell to the floor. I jumped up off the bed and ran as fast as i could out of the house, once outside i couldn't stop, i just kept running and running, unsure of were i was going or what direction i had come from. 

I stopped somwere to catch my breath and seen James' Gym off in the distance. I ran in its direction and before i new i was running through the red double doors. The amount of strength i put into my shove caused the heavy double doors to slam open hitting the walls behind them. 

I stopped and scanned the room for James, i was out of breath and panting so hard i could barely breath. When i found him, tears started to pool in my eyes and i couldn't hold them back. I quickly turned and ran out the doors and back into the fresh air. 

"Rosa!" i heard James call out after me, followed by loud quick footsteps that sounded like running. 

I stood facing the street, my eyes turned down as i let my tears fall. When James reached me he quickly walked around to face me, he cupped my cheeks in both hands and forced my face up.

"Open your eyes Rosa" he commanded, his voice low and intense. My body responding to him before my mind could process what he said. My eyes opened to see his beautifully dark ones, they seamed darker then usual, like my pain was radiating into him and he could feel every ounce of it. The more i looked, the safer i felt. My tears started to slow and my breathing calmed. I let out the breath i didn't know i was holding and was hit with the force of his hug. My face firmly planted against his chest as he wrapped his arms around me, almost winding me, but i welcomed it. 

"Are you okay?" he eventually asked. All i could do was shake my head against my chest. He slowly released his hold on me and moved his hands slowly down my body. I let out a loud pained sound and jumped back holding my ribs. My ribs! i looked down to see a noticeable bruise already starting to form. 

I looked up at James and if looks could kill Steve would be dead 4 times over by now. His eyes darkened even further and his mouth was pressed into a firm hard line, his jaw tense as he just stared at my bruise. I quickly covered it with my hands but his eyes didn't budge. 

"Do not move. Do you understand?" He said through tight lips. I could only nod before he walked back inside.  

As soon as he left images of Steve immediately hit me. My tears started to flow again and my breath became laboured. I wanted to run after him, to tell him to never leave me alone again but his command held me in place. "Keep struggling Rosie" The images replayed again and again in my mind. I crossed my arms and held on tight as my chest began to ache. JAMES! i mentally called out and as if hearing me he came. 

"Come with me" he held out his hand and instead of walking into the gym we walked up the stairs. We stopped and i looked up and noticed a chic stainless steel door. I looked up at him  with confusion. He cupped my cheek again and i melted into his touch. I opened my eyes and was met with his, all my pain and anger and hurt seamed to evaporate whenever i was near him. I even felt a small smile spread across my lips. 

He put his hand into his pocket and pulled out a key, he let go of my face and i instantly missed his touch. With both hands he bent to put the key into the door and turned it. He ushered me in and i was met with the most spectacular of views. The first thing i noticed was the sunken floor in the middle of wide open space, the sunken floor was home to a sleek black lounge that hugged the closest corner to us to make an L shape. I looked up and noticed the entire back wall was made of glass windows giving a spectacular view of town. To the right were three black doors that blended in almost seamlessly with the black walls that hugged the apartment. The floors were a dark grey and looked like polished concrete. To the left was a beautifully large kitchen with marble bench tops and dark cupboards. There was nothing homey about it though. No pictures or colour, it was just a beautiful space, plain and simple. 

"This is were i live" James started to say "and i want you to stay here for as long as you need" 

"What?" i looked up at him "I.. I cant impose on you like that. Really, i can see if maybe.."

"Stop" he interrupted "You don't have to do anything, I'm offering and you will accept. Come on" He placed his hand on my lower back and gestured me into the room. We stop just near the three doors "wait here" He said before walking over to a door i hadn't seen at first. He came back and handed me two white fluffy towels. 

"This door" he pointed the the one in the middle "is the bathroom. Do you feel like a shower?"

I did, i desperately needed one, i needed to wash the scent and feel of Steve off of me, but i new as soon as i closed the door i would just be hit with flash backs. 

"I.. I don't want to be alone" i whispered out. 

"I"ll be right here Rosa" James said reassuringly "No one can hurt you here. I promise" He looked me in the eyes and gave me a reassuring smile. 

I smiled back before accepting the towels. I walked into the bathroom and was astounded by what i saw, on the back wall was a large plane of glass and inside it was a huge shower head hanging from the middle of the roof. To my right was a large single vanity with a huge mirror that almost fit the wall perfectly and even further right was the toilet that seamed to be floating. 

I closed the door behind me and willed myself not to think about anything. I quickly stripped off and turned to knob of the shower to hot only adding a small amount of cold water. Before i could hop in i heard an almost nonexistent knock on the door. 

"Rosa? i have some clothes here for you. I'll leave them by the door" James said, but i couldn't respond. Instead i jumped into the hot water, welcoming the burn, I let it scold off Steve's touch. All i could do was stand there, my brain didn't even try to flash images into my head. All i could think about was James being here, he would protect me, I didn't need to worry. 

Once i was done i dried myself off and popped my head out of the door to see some clothes laying just on the floor. I quickly pulled them in and had a look at what he had given be. It was a pair of grey sweat pants that i had to tie up super tight to get them to stay up on my hips and a black T-shirt. It looked like the one he was wearing when i first met him. I pulled the collar up to my nose and breathed in, It smelt just like him. I found a comb sitting on his vanity and brushed the braids from my hair. I took a look in the mirror and sighed at the sight in front of me. My eyes were blood shot red and my lips had dents in them from biting them so hard. 

I walked out and seen James in the kitchen cooking something, he looked so natural and i stopped to admire him for a moment, but as if he sensed me he turned and gave me a grin. 

"Come Rosa" he said while holding out a hand to me. I instantly started walking towards him and he met me at the side of the lounge. "How are you feeling now?" He asked.

"A little better" I replied with a shrug. 

He pulled me closer to him and placed me down on the lounge. 

"Rosa, I know you probably don't want to, but i think you need to get it off your chest" he started to say "Dinner is almost ready and i know you probably don't feel very hungry but you need to eat and then when we are done i want you to tell me what happened. Okay?" 

He was right, i didn't feel hungry, but i did know that i needed to vent and in this moment i trusted no body more with my past then him. I tried to seem confident but i could feel myself failing. 

"Okay" was all i could manage. 

He pulled me up off the seat and over to the island benches of the kitchen. I pulled up a stool and sat. Not long after he served up dinner. It was beef stir fry and rice. 

"How old are you again?" he asked. 

"17" i responded.

"Old enough then" he said and placed a premixed rum and coke in front of me. I half smiled at that, i could definitely use it. 

We ate dinner in silence and i finished my drink within the first few bites. My tolerance for alcohol was pretty high, having Lily for a best friend made me that way. Her idea of mixing a drink was to make it 3/4 vodka and a dash of juice. He offered me another and i gladly accepted. 

Once we were finished he grabbed our plates and quickly washed them up and put them away. He walked over to me and helped me to the couch. 

I sat down and he sat directly next to me, lifting his leg to face me. I mimicked his action and turned to face him. This was it, i had to come clean. I thought about my dad and my chest hurt. Then i thought about my mum and her bringing in every stray needy man she could find into our house. I thought about the fact that i hadn't had a father figure in my life for almost 11 years. I let out a deep breath and i started to talk. I started to spill my deepest secrets to a man i hardly knew, but trusted more then most. 

I bared my soul to him and he sat there and listened to all of it.