Epitome of a Hero

Hopeful eyes

Back when I was a small kid— a 6-year-old kid. I was a princess--- a normal princess who loved wearing dresses made by my attendant who treated me like a kid of her own. Her name was Julla. She was a kind woman who had green eyes and blonde hair who would always run after me whenever I tried to go to the King to present myself.

“Lady Damian! You might get wounded! Stop your running!” She shouted but I just ran with my newly made red dress, grinning like a hopeful kid.

I ran the hall of the palace to see my father whom I wish would take notice to his daughter even for once, with this beautiful dress.

“Father! Father!” I giggled as I ran towards the throne where he was seated.

“Lady Damian!” Julla followed but halted as soon as my father raised his hand to stop us with a frown on his face. As a kid I never understood, maybe the king never had a good day or maybe he was shouldering the burden of the kingdom.

“Father, look at my dress! Julla and I made it!” I gave a turn with gallops as we stood before him. I smiled at him but all I got was nothing, he just stared at me with his seemingly disgusted eyes, and I was well-immune since it already happened a hundred times. I gave him a grin, hoping he will be pleased to see his daughter as a princess.

“Can you please take control of your pet?” The King exclaimed as he glared at Julla and I was left blinking at them.

“Yes Majesty.” Julla immediately grabbed me by the wrist and I was dragged out of the throne room while I look at my father.

As soon as we got out of the room, Julla knelt down in front of me, and I don’t even know why. Her eyes were teary and she held both of my cheeks with her freezing palms.

“I’m so sorry Princess…” Why is she sorry?

“Are you feeling sick Julla?” I whispered and placed my hands on top of hers. She shook her head and her lips showed a little smile.

“You’re are a very sweet girl, Damian. This shouldn’t be happening to you…” Her tears were about to fall down so I just shook my head and smiled at her.

“Let’s make another dress! Maybe father doesn’t like red.” I agreed with my own words and Julla just nodded at me and we headed back to my room.

It was terrifying as a kid. But I didn’t mind the pain since I thought being a King might be hard especially without his Queen. I just stayed hopeful that maybe one day, father will love me just like how he loved his kingdom.

“Julla, how did my mother die?” I mumbled clueless as we sew another dress, a yellow one with glitters and pearls.

She stopped with her needle and thread as soon as I asked and she gently laid her touch on my small hands.

“Queen Tessa died so you could continue the life she had. Your mother loved you very much even when you were in her belly…” she explained carefully.

“But why? She could continue living even if I am here--- we could all be together, father won’t be lonely if she was also here,” I argued with my innocent words.

“Princess… Uhm—The Queen wanted you to live so you could discover how wonderful of a woman you’ll be even without her. When you were born, the Queen was also ill, that’s why after she bore you into this world, she went to heaven--- so she could tell the angels to guide you on your way…”

“So, mother is already in heaven? Where are the angels now? She could also have some angels make father happy!” I giggled and Julla opened her arms so I could be encased by them. That warmth was something I loved, and it was something I wanted to cherish forever.

After two years, my birthday was about to come and I will be turning eight by that tomorrow. It’s not something to be excited about since the King never had celebrated it anyway but this time—this time the, King announced that the Kingdom will be having a banquet and I already became excited since it was my birthday.

“Happy birthday Princess!” Julla embraced me and I embraced her back and then she helped me wear the blue dress she sewed just for me.

“This is amazing, Julla. Thank you very much,” I giggled as I gave a turn with my small body. I suddenly remembered about the banquet and I became too excited that I flee away causing Julla to ran after me.

“The King said he was having a banquet! I think he already acknowledge me!” The eight years old me exclaimed with joy. For the first time in forever, the King will be holding a banquet for my birthday. I almost cried that time and I can’t even hear what Julla was saying as I dash my way towards the throne room.

“Father!” I announced myself with my small child’s voice and he raised a brow at me. “It’s my birthday!” I giggled with my arms raised as if I was celebrating.

“Julla, what did I tell you?” He spoke in an agitated manner making me laugh, maybe he was hiding it as a surprise!

“You held a banquet for my birthday!” I yelled, hopping on my feet as I laugh. My excitement rushed in my veins as I did and more when the King stepped out of the throne.

But all of it just stopped when the King slapped me with his heavy hand causing a gasp from the royal guards in the chamber and from Julla herself. “Your majesty!” Julla screamed.

Tears welled up my eyes as I held my painful cheek. I started to sob when I saw the King’s eyes nauseating expression. “Is that how a princess should act--- such a disgust to my blood!”

He turned his back against me and I was petrified, it was cruel. I felt Julla’s hand on my shoulder and she was about to carry me outside as she hushes my whimper. This time was the first time that the young me ever talked back against the King.

“Mother wouldn’t want you to hit me father!” I yelled and the King just looked his displeased eyes down at me.

“Your mother? She is already dead.” He spoke as he eats a grape beside his royal bowl. How could he talk like that without any trace of sadness? “And do you know why?”

“Your majesty, stop this!” Julla yelled back and I looked at her, her palms were cold but her voice was loud, she mad.

“You dare order me, your King!?” The King whispered but his voice was terrifying enough to make Julla’s breath ragged.

“She’s just a kid, my King…” she replied calmly and her grip tightened on my as she pulled me closer.

“Even kids deserve to know the truth. And you, child, is the reason why your mother is dead,” my ruthless father replied and I just fell aloof, my body dropped cold and I just wanted to hear more.

“She had a very frail and weak body and yet, you grew in her belly without any mind of the world just yet. And because of that, when you came out from her womb, her frail body didn’t even handle it--- that’s why her breath—“

“Stop it!” Julla shouted and I stayed frozen. The heat from the King’s slap hurt but the way he said how my mother died because of me brought me pain even more. All the arguments became blurry and all I realized was I was already being dragged by the hand by Julla, away from the cruelty of my own father.

I remained silent, even as we returned back in my room.

“You can cry, my dear… I’m so sorry…” Julla was embracing me and we stayed like that for hours until I was able to speak again.

“Don’t believe what your father said… Your mother loved you and because she do, very much--- she chose you. Just like what a good mother would do…” Julla whispered and I wanted to believe it, but I can’t…

“Just remember, my dear princess. You are a lovely girl, and you will be one of the greatest women I’ve known.” She knelt down by the floor beside the bed and wiped the tears pouring from my eyes. “So don’t ever lose those hopeful eyes…” she smiled at me and I nodded, tightening the grip I had in her hand.

“I love you Princess…” she hugged me one last time before bidding me good night.

The night was cold that day, even colder when I cried on my pillow upon remembering what occurred by the day. I plead for my mother’s forgiveness the whole night until I feel my eyes swollen the day that followed.

“Princess Damian. It is time to wake up.” A woman’s voice appeared and an unfamiliar maid gathered my blanket.

“Where is Julla?” I asked.

“She left.” Why? I didn’t bother replying but deep inside of me, I was a crumbling kid who was slowly losing herself. Julla was the only one I have left. She was bestfriend, my mother—and now she left me too…

That feeling grew even further when 5 days came and she was still nowhere to be seen.

Until…

My attendance was requested by the King for a capital punishment and I sat clueless beside the King who wasn’t speaking. A child shouldn’t be involved in this events but it should be something important for the King to have advised for my presence.

When the people of crime started to line up for their places before being hanged to death, I stood up with my fuming and freezing body when I saw Julla by the death row.

“Julla, no…” I whimpered.

“Julla!” I yelled as my tears started rushing out of my eyes. I tried to get off from where we were but the King grabbed my wrist but I whisked it away causing the other soldiers to rush on where we were to hold me. The representative of the King began announcing the crimes of the people but I cannot hear them—all I can ever hear was my pounding heart that was killing me, and all my eyes can ever focus on was Julla who had her head bowed down.

“Julla!” I shouted once again but this time I cried it all out until my throat cannot handle any longer. I saw her look at me and I can see the shock in her eyes even though she was very far away.

“No…” I whimpered, my voice cracked up and my throat felt as if it was ripped apart after my screams. My ears recovered its hearing when I heard the name Julla being announced by the capital.

“Julla Clover, a female attendant who commited a treason to the royals of Cyprus by attempting to kidnap Princess Damian, therefore she will be bestowed with death by hanging.”

“She didn’t take me!” I managed to croak out with my yelling and I glared at the King who glanced at me then back at the death row without any concern on his face. This is unfair… This is unfair!

I tried losing the guards and ran closer so I could go up and stop them from killing Julla-- but they caught me in their strong force until my eyes get fixed on Julla who shook her head at me. My body felt weaker as I saw her smile with tears and my knees fell down the hard ground as soon as the floor which held their feet up started to crumble and it made Julla’s feet dangle.

No… Stop!

“Cut the rope down! Please!” I cried and the other people just heard me but kept their mouths closed even though they also looked terrified.

The eight-year old me crumbled to death as I watched Julla strangled by the rope which killed her, all because of the treason which didn’t even make any sense.

She died because of me…. And I kept my eyes open until her body stopped moving, until her struggles were no more… How can I keep those hopeful eyes Julla…?

I laid my small body down the cold ground with the guards who didn’t do anything but follow the King’s order. How can I even keep them…? Now that you are also gone….?

When the cruelty was over, I tried going up where I can lay my hands on Julla but the soldiers took me away and since I was just a helpless child, I couldn’t even move.

I was taken to my room without anyone in to grieve with me. And I was left by the bracelet with green and white pearl she gave when I was six years old.

I cried to my desolation until I can never feel anything no more while the memories of the smiling Julla still lingered at the back of my mind.

That’s the day where my hopeful eyes disintegrated with my childhood--- with only my dead gray eyes left to stare at me.