Epitome of a Hero

A Share of a Burden

“I think I have seen this guy!” Fei exclaimed when she accidentally opened the page of the sketchbook where Kyle’s face was sketched. Oh god.

The girls started leaping through pages making me feel embarrassed as ever. But why would I even be embarrassed? I’m not even the one who drew it!?

“It’s just a drawing…” I mumbled while I anxiously grab a chip from the plate. Both of their eyes began to set on me and I just glanced at them and then back at the book that I was reading.

“Do you… like him?”

What? Why would I?

I puffed and just shook my head, acting all calm at Sheen’s question even though my heart was already about to explode like a freaking balloon. A poke made me gasp and it was Fei trying to get the truth out of me.

She likes him, not me though! That’ll be impossible!

“I just like drawing him, you know. He looks like a comic character for his… for his…” I stopped mumbling and coughed up to regain focus on my book. He was a pretty man, I’ll admit.

“You do like him!” They exclaimed in sync making me laugh... I waved my hand to stop them both and just raised my book in Geometry to show it to them.

“I thought we’re in this room for a group study?” I asked in jest and they huffed at me.

“Well, we’re in here anyways so we’ll have to enjoy the time!” Sheene said.

It was a good time, we studied more on Mathematics than other subjects and then we proceeded talking about ourselves and I have learned a lot of things--- especially about Tricia. This is the first time she invited someone on her home.

“We were kind of shocked when you said you wanted to have a group study too. You rarely went to studies, you were--- always alone.”

“I was?” I was always alone…. Even before. I didn’t know you were the same, Triz.

“Yea. You kind of, changed a lot,” Sheene smiled.

“Like, it’s better. We knew you were incredibly talented even before but you suddenly just shut yourself out from the people… And then you never talked to us again… Tell us, why?” Fei added, eager to know my answer to her question.

I began staring at my own hands, not knowing whether to answer or just stay silent for the whole time. Why did you isolate yourself? I asked the body I was in but there was no response, only the constricted heart and the sadness that swells at my bosom. 

“I… I really don’t know, either,” I whispered and both of them fell mute as they looked at me. What if I tell them the truth? I am not Tricia… I am just a lost soul that is not inhabiting her body. I opened my mouth to start telling them the real deal but stopped when I remembered how Mary reacted when I told her.

“You can tell us...”

Fei stared into my very eyes and laid her hand on my hand which was crumpled above the book on my thigh. Her warmth made me comfortable and so I knew I could trust them.

“The thing is… I feel lost…”

That was the only thing I can say to start and as they fell silent to listen to whatever I was going to say, I continued.

“I feel like I don’t even know who I am. It’s just like I wake up one morning and my life was different, I was a foreign person who was staring back at the mirror and it made me almost forget who I was.”

As the words escape out my mouth, each and every thing about It became real on my heart and it started to build the tears I have been keeping.

“I felt useless, like I am not good enough for everything, for everyone--- and this world was just so different from where I used to be, I felt alienated. All my life, the world was punishing me for some sin which I didn’t even do--- especially when I knew how my mother died, all because of me.”

I sobbed and I felt both the girls’ hand on mine, tightly holding me. Right now… is the only time that I have ever divulged my feelings to anyone and it was a relief but was also a key of opening up my wounded soul once again.

“Was being born in this world my fault? That’s what I have always asked myself and as time passes by I have completely accepted that my fate wasn’t just really meant to be good and I also took it in as a punishment of me existing.” I wiped the tears crawling on my cheek and tried not to sob too much since my chest was already too tight that I can’t breathe.

“That is why I opened myself to death… If I die, I will have no objections, and I will just embrace it all too tight, in hopes that death will be kinder to me than my own life. Because if--- if I just die, I will no longer have to suffer and my sin will be fully paid.” I whimpered, removing my hand from the girls just to cover my face. My heart hurts so much and I can’t even breathe anymore. Why did I even open up these feelings that I have already begun to close? Fei and Sheene wrapped their arms around me and as they did, the warmth that ignited from them made me more emotional.

I cried all too much and as I did, I felt her…

She was crying at the top of the university building feeling every bit of what I felt right now.

Is that what you felt for the longest of times? I asked her on my head but all there was were the tears the flowed down our eyes. I felt Sheene and Fei crying as well and we stayed like that until we are already sobered up.

“You aren’t alone anymore…” Fei’s whisper made me hug them both, and for the first time in my life, I have heard the words I longed to hear from my own world before. I am not alone anymore…

“Thank you for telling us about your problems… You can always rely on us if you need anything…” Sheene hugged me even tighter and I did the same.

“And whatever you plan to do, or want to become—we will support you too.”

“Thank you guys…”

Our time together was long but never boring. Especially for me who have never spent her time with friends. I was always all alone since I pushed everyone away in hopes that they can be pulled away from danger if I was not involved and for some reason, I think she is the same—Tricia.

So while I am here, I will make sure she’d never experience that loneliness anymore, even when I completely disappear from her body--- that’s the only plan I have for now.

To make sure that she’ll never be alone. 

When the night was about to fall, I tend them through the door and Dad was already there. The old man had a wide grin on his face and as someone who was originally the same age as him, I do understand why the joy in his eyes were overflowing. He had never seen his daughter with her friends since she was always alone and seeing her now with people alongside her is priceless.

“Good evening Mr. Marcus!” Sheene greeted and my father greeted them back.

“Won’t you guys stay for dinner?” he asked and I seconded but both of them shook their heads.

“My mom will probably wait for me at dinner. Thank you Sir.” Fei answered.

“And I still have some things to do Mr. Marcus. We will come here again next time,” Sheene added.

“What about we take you both home?” I asked and they rejected it, they both looked all so flustered and shy and it just made me laugh. The old man noticed it too and he just smiled.

“Okay, okay. Take care on your way,” Marcus implied and both of us watched Faye and Sheene walk away and wave their hands from the middle of the street.

“So, did you have fun?” he asked and I nodded twice or maybe thrice I don’t know, I was just really happy, and telling some else about your problems kind of give you a share of the burden which isn’t too heavy anymore.

“Dinner?” I asked and the old man gave my head a hug before we went in to eat dinner while talking about his work amongst other things that I find interesting.