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Five

A low voice broke the silence. "It's Roman, I am Beau's brother! Sorry for scaring you." My heart started racing, in my attempt to follow the voice and I instinctively moved back towards the kitchen again. I heard heavy footsteps and a tall figure appeared in the light, atleast six foot, broad shoulders, sharp jaw and jet black hair. He had a white collar shirt top buttons undone and sleeves rolled up two really muscular arms. He gave me a slight smile as if he caught me red handed. In an attempt to smile I could feel my hands shaking. "Hi, I am Hannah nice to meet you. I appologise for the interruption I was a bit hungry so I made myself a sandwich and some tea." I lifted my cup and plate feeling really guilty. "It looks really good!" He smiled down at me and my heart dropped, I am making food in this man's house where I had no business being.q Before I could string my thoughts along I blurted out rather loudly. " I will make you one too!"I felt a bit stupid but I looked up at Roman and his smile made me feel a little more at ease. I quickly reopened the fridge and fished out the ingredients. Roman was about to say something and I just shook my head and smiled. "It's no bother at all!" He took a seat at the counter and went quiet, I felt his gaze burning, but I forced myself to make his sandwich. I made him a cup of tea and looked up at him. "Sugar?" Our eyes met and he looked at me for a while then suddenly blinked as if he was coming out of a daydream "None for me, thank you." I placed the plate and cup down in front of him and I attempted a smile but it came off rather faint."There you go, enjoy!" I wanted to bee line for the room because my heart was racing, and I could feel his eyes on my every move. I wondered what he was thinking. Is my hair a mess? I just rushed through it with my fingers this morning after I washed it. "Join me?" He said softly. My mouth went dry and my palms began sweating. He wants me to join him? I couldn't help but notice my heart starting to drum even faster. Look, I am all for an invite that sounds innocent and maybe even common courtesy, but here I stood hoping I could just dig a hole and bury myself in it. I knew he knew what happened last night and I'm lying to myself if I say that I'm not carrying shame, embarrassment, a whole lot of anger and hatred, I wouldn't be good company at the moment. I looked around and decided it would be rude to just leave. I chose to sit down on the edge of the counter. I started eating without another word when my stomach gave me a reminder that I am stil hungry. As I continued my rhythmic chewing I felt his eyes still on me, I stopped mid-chew and peeked at him and saw his jaw clench. I followed his eyes to where he was looking to and immediately put down my sandwich and pulled the sleeves down and gripped it in my hand while trying to pick the sandwich back up to start eating again. He was silent for a while and I focused on my chewing and was grateful for the food in my mouth.

" You don't have to hide it from me, that man will pay!" He spoke after a while. He sounded so sure of the fact and my stomach turned. I stared down at my plate and I could feel my throat pulling into a spasm as I fought back tears. In that moment I realized that what happened to me was my fault, had I not stammered on my words and just ordered my drink I wouldn't be in this situation. I knew it was my fault. I just had to admit it to myself and that's what I was about to admit to Roman. "It was my fault." my body went numb the moment the words left my mouth. I admitted it to someone other than myself, I was taking responsibility for my stupidity. I looked at him and saw his jaw clench again, a small muscle in his cheek fighting against pressure, and his eyes grew dark. He turned to me and his face softened a little and his voice came out low and smooth. "Hannah, this," he pointed to my wrist "This isn't your fault! You are the victim here. You were wronged, you were taken advantage of, you were hurt . From what I heard Beau didn't even get a chance to get involved, that man, the coward that he is got off lightly! He should be ashamed of what he did, not you!" He doesn't know what I did that got me here. He doesn't understand. How do you tell someone that? I felt a new wave of shame hit me and I just needed to get away, from the situation, this house, from Roman. "Uhm, I think I need some air." I almost yelled as I got up and I started shaking the moment my body realized what I was doing. I just needed to get away, I felt my body betraying me as I put down my plate. My lungs felt like it was filled with concrete, all of a sudden there was no space for air. I gasped willing my body to take in more air as I started to panic. I held onto whatever I could find to brace myself. As I was fighting for air and my vision blurred I saw a shadow approach and I instinctively backed away. Next thing I saw Roman come into view and I realized I pulled away for no reason he was only seeing a crazy person and offered his help? He hesitated a moment and I felt so bad for my reaction."I'm sorry! I'm so so sorry!" I almost cried out. He frowned at me and slowly placed a hand on my shoulder. I was so surprised by the small gesture and couldn't help my tears as they broke free. "Hey, hey, it's okay." he said softly, and in that moment I believed him, I felt a slight sqeeze as there was a moment of silence between us. I placed my hand on his and the warmth of his hand was so comforting. It was almost like it took a little bit of the hurt away. I couldn't understand why and I didn't want him to let go. His warmth felth like home. As soon as the thought crossed my mind reality struck and I realized what I was doing. I almost shrugged off his hand and dried my cheek with my sleeve

"I'm good, thanks. See you around." The words came out of my mouth as if what just happened didn't. I plastered a smile as best I could and almost ran to the room. 'See you around?', what the heck was that about Hannah! I scolded myself as I pushed my back against the room door. I felt so stupid when I thought about it. Getting into bed was hard, my muscles were so sore and my back felt like it was so tense I couldn't settle into bed. I had to tell myself to relax into the pain. Sleep came over me after hours of replaying the scene in the kitchen, I found myself going over every bit of what Roman looked like. His dark grey eyes, with a very serious frown that made his face even more attractive. His sharp jawline and full lips, dark stubble around them made them look even more inviting. Jess said that Roman was the brains and Beau had the looks, but Roman was drop dead gorgeous! I felt my eyes growing heavy thinking of him and drifted into a peaceful sleep.