Milkshake girl

Chapter eighteen - I don't know how I feel

Nate's POV:

Olivia tried to end the things with Mason, but I am sure that he will try again. He is not from the people who give up easily. I don't know what his next move will be, but it's better like that. What I said to Olivia was true. If she stays away from me, Mason will lose interest and won’t bother her. The thing is that she doesn't want to do it. To be honest, I like that she wants to spend time with me. I know that she likes someone, but I feel like I am more important. Otherwise, she was going to be with her boy, not me. Well, if she was brave enough to tell him everything. I won't lie that I have thought that maybe I am the boy, but I know that it's not true. She can't talk with him at all, but she talks with me so easily. There is no way that I am he. I kind of wish it and I hope that everything will go in the right direction. Sometimes I still doubt her. It's about do I like her the way I think or it's just like an illusion. I feel good around Olivia, but this is not enough. She is the only person with who I have talked about this, but I don't want to make it too obvious. Maybe my mom can help me. Usually, mothers know about these things. 

It's the weekend so I don't have to go to school for two days. That way, I can think about what is going on with me. I don't want to rush and tell Olivia that I like her, because I am not sure about it. Just because you like being around someone, it doesn't mean that you like him or her. Yes, she is nice and I feel happy when she is around, but I'm still not sure what I feel. I was so caught up to find the special girl that I never thought what would happen when I find her. I mean look at me now. There is a girl who got my attention, but I don't know how I feel about her. 

I got out of bed and went to see my mom. She was in the kitchen. I don't know what she is cooking, but it smells delicious. I carefully walked up to her and saw pancakes on a plate. My mom knows me so well. Also, there were cupcakes in a tray. I guess that mom will go somewhere today. It's not of my business anyway. She turned around and flinched when she saw me. I didn't want to scare her. 

- I'm sorry. I didn't want to scare you. 

- It's fine. Can I help you?

- Yes, I wanted to talk with you about something. Well, if you have time. - I said looking at the cupcakes

- They are for the home. I am in good mood today and you know that on days like these I like to cook a lot. 

- I know. They look delicious. 

- For what do you want to talk with me?

- There is a girl and I don't know do I like her? How can I understand what I feel for her? I asked her pretending that it's for someone else. 

- Just ask yourself how you feel when she is around you. Do you feel good? I mean do you like when you two spend time together?

- Yes, I do, but I don't want to give her high hopes. 

- Is the girl Olivia?

- How do you know?

- Because I am your mother. Moreover, she is the only girl to who you have talked so much. 

- Point for you. Anyways, I don't think that I have to tell her. 

- Why? She deserves to know. 

- Because she likes someone else. I don't want to fight for her. Moreover, he is perfect, or at least in her eyes. There is no way that I can beat him. 

- But you can be yourself. Why are you sure that he is honest?

- What do you mean?

- I mean that maybe he is pretending so he can get the attention. No one is perfect. 

- I know, but Olivia thinks something else. 

- Do you want me to talk with her?

- Thanks, but I'm not sure that she will want to share this with you. 

- True, but it's worth a try. 

- Well, if you really want to do it. She goes to work every day. On school days only in the afternoons. 

- What if I want to invite her home?

- Do whatever you want. I will go out now. I don't want to stay at home the whole day. 

- What about breakfast?

- I'm not hungry. 

I walked into my room to get changed. Later I walked out. I don't know where I want to go. I can go to see Olivia for lunch. I want to tell her my doubts, but I don't want her to know that the girl is she. Maybe I will go only to take a milkshake. I am not much in the mood for a conversation. Yes, she will understand and give me good advice, but right now, I don't want to do it. I walked to the shop and saw her sitting behind the cash register. 

- Hi, I want you to make me a chocolate milkshake for home. 

- Oh, um, ok. I will do it. 

- Is there a problem?

- You always drink your milkshake here. Did I do something?

- No, I just prefer to walk around. 

- Ok, no problem. 

I know that she isn't pleased with that, but I don't know what else to do. Maybe if I tell her everything, things will be easier, but I don't know how she will react to this. 

- Can you help me?

- With what?

- How did you understand that you like your boy?

- Well, you know that at first, I wasn't sure. 

- Yes, you told me, but you became sure. 

- Because I didn't forget him. Maybe we were in different high schools and he didn't know who I was, but I never stopped thinking about him. Until today. I don't know what else it could be. If I don’t like him, then what is all that? I just thought that since you think so much about one person and that you admire him, maybe there are feelings. I can't be one hundred percent sure, but I like everything in him. I know that he is not perfect, but for me, this is the type of people around who I want to be. He is nice to everyone and his smile lightens every room in which he walks. 

I will never beat him. Olivia is so in love that I can't change that. Maybe it's not meant to be. I don't like this. Now, I will focus on her words. What do I like about her? I like when she is smiling, but mostly when I can make her blush. I like the way she treats me. I want to keep her safe and give her what she deserves, which is love and support. I know that she still has some wounds from her last school. I want to be there with her and help her. Ok, maybe I like her. 

- Nate. Hello. Milkshake boy. 

- What?

- Where were you?

- Sorry, I was thinking about something.

- Is that something your special girl? - she said with a sad tone

- It doesn't matter. 

- Ok, here is your milkshake. I hope that you will like it. 

- Will you come with me for a walk?

- I would love to, but I can't. 

- It'll be only for an hour. Then we can buy lunch and come back here.

- Fine. Let me take my things. 

When Olivia was done, we walked out. I don't know where we are going, but I wanted her to come with me. I don't know why she always looks sad when I mention my girl. She already has a boy who looks like he is from a fairytale. I hope that my question won't hurt her. 

- Can I ask you something?

- Sure. 

- Why do you always get sad when I talk about my girl? I mean that you already have a perfect boy. 

Olivia didn't say anything and nodded her head. I made her look at me and saw tears in her eyes. I don't understand. Did I say something wrong? It was just a normal question. 

- I didn't want to hurt you.

- Listening to how you talk about her makes me wonder will I be good enough for him. - she said and a couple of tears rolled down her cheeks

I carefully wiped them and hugged her. She wrapped her hands around me and slightly broke down in my arms. I never knew that this still gets her. I don't know what to do to make her believe in herself. She is an amazing girl who shouldn't doubt herself that much. I want her to understand it. 

- Stop thinking so bad about yourself. You are one amazing girl. 

- You think?

- Yes, I do. Now let's get some lunch. I am getting hungry. - I said chuckling

Both of us went for food and then back to the milkshake shop. Olivia made us milkshakes and I took our food out of the box. We started eating without talking. It was visible that we were hungry. I guess that she has skipped breakfast too. She rested her head on my shoulder, but I think that she didn't realize it. I won't lie that this feels good. I might not be him, but at least I can try to be as good as possible. I wrapped my hand around her and she looked at me. Olivia was about to pull away, but I didn't let her. With that, I saw a small smile on her face and how her cheeks turned light pink. She is adorable. 

We stayed like that for a while. I wanted to go to the toilet but looked at Olivia who was sleeping. Probably this is the strangest place where you can fall asleep. I won't lie that she sleeps cute. I left her to sleep for a while and then woke her up. By her look, I can see that she was feeling embarrassed. I smiled at her and she returned it. 

- Hey, it's fine. You did nothing wrong. 

- Don't tell Barry that I sleep at my workplace. 

- Your secret will live deep inside of me. - I said and she laughed

- Thank you. I was feeling comfortable. 

- I am glad to hear it. 

- Can I snuggle? - she asked with puppy eyes

- You don't need to ask, but first, I will go to the toilet. 

I came back and let her snuggle. I am feeling comfortable as well. As much as I like it, I don't want her to get distant from her boy. Sometimes I have caught myself thinking to steal her from him, which is not something nice. I am not that person. Well, when you like someone, you are ready to do everything for him or her. Yes, I admit it. Maybe I can tell her that she helped me, but I know that she won't be happy to hear it. I looked at her and saw a smile on her face. I like that I am the reason for that, but I can't be the main one. 

- I don't want to ruin your mood, but I feel guilty. 

- Why?

- Because it looks like you totally forgot about your boy. I don't want you to get distant from him. 

- Don't worry about that. Now we are more connected than ever. All of this thanks to you. - she said and gave me a smile

- In that case, I have to say that you have helped me as well. 

- Really? How?

- You helped me realize that I like my girl. Before I was doubting, but now I am sure. 

- That's good. I am glad to help. 

- Hey, I didn't want to upset you. 

- No, you didn't. 

- Why don't we forget that we like someone and just enjoy the time here?

- I like this idea. 

- After work, I can take you for a walk if you want. 

- I would love to. 

I stayed with Olivia until she finished her work. Only three customers stooped in the shop. I hope that the meetings of the football team are working. I mean that she can earn a lot of money from us. Later we went for a walk. Olivia wanted us to stop in one park. Today the weather was nice and maybe that is the reason why there are so many stars in the sky. I didn't know that she is interested in that. We stayed like an hour and then I send her home. 

At the beginning of this day, I didn't know how I feel. Now, I know everything. Mom has helped me too, but mostly I have to thank Olivia. She is the one who helped me understand myself. What has left is to tell her the truth. One day this will happen as well. I just want to do it the right way. I mean that I don't want her to get distant from me. To be honest, I have never asked her what she thinks of me. I know that she likes me because we are friends, but maybe there is something else. Well, there is enough time for that. Little by little, I will understand everything. Maybe she won't tell me who the boy is, but this doesn't mean that I won't try to impress her. Now in this game, there are three players. The beautiful shy girl, her boy, and me. Let's see from the two of us who will win her.