Chapter 3 An Awesome Month in Asia.
1381 Words
Since the group was not very busy, they went out to buy some coffee. Then they brought it back to Michael's office to chat about their holiday. Unfortunately, Adam accidentally turned on the microphone to the intercom. This led to the rest of the Central Sydney Murder Investigation Department hearing their conversation.
Thomas Anderson:
- Woo, how strange this coffee tastes? I can’t remember when I last had a non-alcoholic drink, apart from water that is.
Michael Fuller
- So, you did not drink coffee at all in Asia? The caffeine withdrawal must have been killing you?
Thomas Anderson:
- We drank heaps of coffees boss. But all the coffees were of the Irish variety
- The problem with drinking Irish coffee in Thailand is that you get it mixed with the local Thai Whiskey, which has a rancid taste. But since they charge an arm and a leg for real Scotch, we had to suck it up and drink it anyway. The effect is the same, and after a few drinks your tastebuds numb off, and it all tastes the same.
Michael Fuller:
- Yeah, so say the aboriginal goon drinkers as well. But I am a well-paid man with sophisticated taste, so I only drink whiskeys that come at around $100 a litre.
Adam Smith:
- Oh anyway. The lousy whiskey had an impressive effect on James who outperformed the highly set hunting goals we had for him. For the first time since Emily came into his life, he was the pickup artist we all know that he can be.
Michael Fuller:
- Hunting goals? Let me get this straight. Did you guys set a goal for how many women James should have s*x with?
Adam Smith:
- That is correct sir. You see, according to The Game, the best way to get over an ex-girlfriend is to hook up with ten random women. Since we have listened to James whine about Emily for seven months, we thought it was time to get him laid! And how he did it twelve women in a month! The Master Hunter is back.
Michael Fuller:
- So, you guys bought prostitutes in Asia, and now you brag about it? How lame is that?
James Locker:
- To be fair Adams story is not accurate. I did date the same woman for most of my time in Asia, but sadly I did not feel that she was what I am looking for. I had s*x with two other women, but that is far from the man-w***e Adam describes me as.
Adam Smith:
- I stand corrected. To be fair since I did not put a spy cam in James' hotel room; I don't know what he did with the women he brought there. He did, however, bring twelve women to his room during our holiday.
- But he is right about the women not being prostitutes. His cover story about going to a third world country to find true love, also known as buying a wife, worked out fine. Since he is only 32, have a fit body and a hot face he was a lot more attractive than the competitors who were generally over 45, fat and ugly. I must say...
Adam Smith was interrupted when the newest addition to the team Samantha Robinson entered the room. She was 22 years old and fresh from the academy. Samantha was around 170 cm tall weighing around 60 kilos. She had the perfect mix of strength and physique as well as femineity. Samantha smiled at Adam Smith with a very sarcastic smile.
Samantha Robinson:
- Great to have you back guys, and it’s even greater that you are sharing the best of your stories via the intercom.
Adam Smith panicked and turned off the intercom, and the other guys did not feel at ease either.
Samantha Robinson:
- Don't worry guys Adams voice is the only one that I could hear, probably as he sits closest to the microphone.
The other guys looked relieved while Adam Smith looked like he was getting close to a panic attack.
Samantha Robinson
- Oh, and don't worry about me reporting you to HR. I don't mind you sharing your ‘hunting stories’, although you should do so at the pub during after-work drinks and not over the intercom
- Oh, and Adam I bet you a hundred bucks that the b***h is angry with you right now.
The b***h was the common nickname for Barry Itch, the head of The Central Sydney Murder Investigation Department. His nickname was because the E-mail addresses in the CSMI department was in the format initial+lastname@CSMI.gov.au. This led to the E-mail Address of Barry Itch was b***h@CSMI.gov.au
Barry was a very tedious and annoying person who through his strive for political correctness was the dictator of the department. Barry had a rigid interpretation of anti-discrimination policies. In Barry's world, most things could be offensive to someone. Barry Itch was very to easy offended, so most of the time anyone felt offended, it was Barry Itch who was behind the report. He was thoroughly disliked, and there were two disparate theories in place as for why he acted the way he did.
- Michael Fuller and James locker thought he acted the way he did to overcompensate for how he acted when off duty. They believed that he was living in a sadomasochistic relationship with his wife. Thus acted they believed that Barry tried to cover this up his real behaviour. Since both Michael and James disliked people who they believed were beating up their wives, they disliked Barry Itch.
- Adam and Thomas saw Barry Itch as whinger who was dominated by his wife Wanda Itch also known as the Witch. They felt that Barry Itch was making their lives difficult. Barry's focus on promoting “values” instead of results had cost them both well-deserved promotions and pay raises. They were both stuck on their entry-level salary even though they had six and four years of work experience in their field. They hated his guts.
Adam Smith swallowed the frustration over his mistake, sighed and spoke:
- Well, I guess I better go to his office and apologise before the fucker has time to sharpen his knives. See you later.
Adam left the room, and Thomas who had a crush on Samantha felt compelled to say something.
Thomas Anderson
- Hey, Samantha, just so that you know, I don't share Adams values and I don't like the way he speaks about women.
Samantha Robinson
- Why is that? You are his best friend, and you hang out with him all the time. Of course, you share values.
Thomas Anderson:
- Well yes, but there is more to me than that, please have dinner with me sometime so I can show you my better sides.
Samantha Robinson:
- Well, Thomas, this is the saddest attempt ever for two reasons:
1. If you are doing this because you are afraid of me reporting you to HR, you are wasting your time and money. I have no intention to report you for any of that antidiscrimination bullshit. I have a full understanding that you are discussing your “conquests” with your friends. I do that as well.
2. If you are doing it because you have a crush on me, you should not hit on me by pretending to be someone else. I like MEN and WOMEN, but I don't want an insecure boy who is lying to get into my pants. I am sick of women, so if you can prove to be a MAN to me; you may take me out to dinner and maybe get lucky. Oh, and I kind of like Adam so don't pretend to be different from him. Unlike Adam, you are also good looking.
Thomas was left speechless by Samantha's words. She studied him for a while and then shook her head and left the room. After a while, Thomas Anderson found his words.
Thomas Anderson:
- Oh my god, she is so hot. I think that I am in love.
Michael Fuller
- Well Mate, don’t sweat yourself. Playtime is over, time to get back to work!
- Writer
