Undead Boyfriend

Where we go from here.

William had moved past just being bored, at this stage he was just pissed off. This whole situation was beyond screwed up and he could not even find the words to express that. It was like his brain gas turned into soup. At least the part that wanted to pull the words from his brain to his mouth. Not to mention his lack of basic motor skills. It was getting depressing.

Luke had just been in his room with a collection of what could only be described as kindergarten toys asking him to put the square block in the square hole. All William could think was how much time they were wasting with this.

Worse than that, he couldn't do it. William sat there staring at the colorful blocks hating every synthetic plastic inch of them. Knowing exactly what he was being asked to do, knowing that just days ago he could have done this with his eyes closed and probably after a 6 pack of the bad baptist.

Yet he sat there, unable to tell his hands how to move or relay the reason for the action. At best he stroked the small red triangle and tilted his head. Why did anyone think he could do some schoolyard puzzle right now, he had been dead! Dead!

Will could understand if they came in here and gave him a medal for his contribution to science. Okay, perhaps not a medal, that was reaching, but his thoughts were a jumble of his old self and this weird limbo of static.

Having failed the basic motor skills test, William became frustrated and knocked everything off the table. Unfortunately, this action was extremely startling for Luke. Who immediately leaped up from his seat anticipating an attack.

William ached to tell him that he wouldn't hurt him, but the look in his brothers' eyes said it all. Luke wouldn't have believed him. He was a monster now, wasn’t he?

At the moment, Luke was sitting there looking like a kicked puppy. The reaction he had caused was the immediate result of the sudden flash of hurt on Williams's face.

Luke could tell his brother's heart was just as broken as his mind and ability to communicate, and it was making him feel guilty for the fear he’d felt.

Things were not going well. Luke was trying, but it was clear even if William's basic motor function skills were not there anymore, his attitude was. Throwing tantrums was always Williams's way, card games, board games, video games; Hell, he couldn't count the number of items destroyed during one of Will's rage quits.

It still hurt Luke to see a grown man struggle with something simple. Especially someone as intelligent as William was, many people didn't realize that about his big brother. Will was fiercely cunning and could figure out almost anything if given enough time. He was the kind of guy who could fix your car with duct tape and pantyhose in an emergency. He knew the names of every European battle from the 11th century to WW2.

Luke didn't know how to handle the idea that his brother, who had raised him, wouldn't even be able to tie his shoes.

The younger brother knelt on the floor among the discarded blocks and flashcards, staring at them helplessly. Until he felt a hand lightly on his shoulder, he looked up, and blue eyes met grey. William made some noise. It wasn't words, and Luke could tell that bothered the man.

His brother squatted down by him, and for the first time since seeing the other alive again, Luke did not recoil in fear. Instead, he couldn't help it; the one thing he had wanted to do but didn't ..finally broke.

He moved to embrace his brother; William's expression softened awkwardly, wrapping his arms around the youngers broad shoulders.

"I'm sorry, my brother, I wasn't strong enough to let you go, and now you are like this. I thought this was what you would want. I know how much you love Cassie, but they wouldn't have done it if I said no... but I couldn't. I couldn't say goodbye not yet; please..forgive me ."

William could feel the warm wet tears on his neck; it flashed in his memory the death of their father. The last time Luke had cried in front of him, he was just a boy, then so much smaller in his arms. He had promised him it was alright, that it didn't make him less of a man to cry. Hell, Will cried at Disney movies, but Luke was different. He always tried so hard never to look weak.

All Will wanted to tell his little brother was that it would be alright. That he forgave him because he was right, this is what he wanted. He didn't want to leave Cassie or his family all alone. And if this was the price for life, this pain in his gut and fog in his mind. Then he would accept that, happy to be with them all again.

Finally, Luke pulled back, wiping his eyes and trying not to look like he had just broken down in front of his brother. " Do you want to see Cassie? I think I know all I need to know. "

William groaned and nodded a bit; Luke assumed that meant yes. He stood up, brushing himself off and gathering the clipboard of notes he'd taken. He looked again at his brother tracing the lines on the tile floor. He smiled sadly and left; this would be a long road back if going back was even possible.

Still, it was worth fighting for.