Why Me Goddess

Before going to the pack

I hope out of my nightly shower that I've got use to taking. I do some of my best thinking in the shower and somethings I just let out all of tears that I still have held up in me. Sure five and some odd months would be fine for a human to get over, but when I when you’re a werewolf and you have a emptiness all your life and it gets bigger when the one person who has raised you goes to the rouges just so you can have your freedom; it just hurts and it feels like I have nothing. 

You see when I was with the Council man and Council woman they told me that when I had been conceived my mother was in a pack with my father, and they had been the Beta couple of the pack. The Council woman told me the name of the pack was 'Silver Lotus Pack' I just started to cry when she told me. That pack name has been going through my head over and over, the more I think about it the more I long to be with other wolfs. Don't get wrong I'm thinking for Max and her family but I'm one of them and I know that, and somewhere deep down I think that Max and Lance knows it too.

After I get dressed in a simply pair of gray sweat paints and a gray sports b*a, was what I was going to sleep in. I towel dried my hair and left it to dry over night. I had two big boxes and one small one in my room and packed them with some clothing. I was going to go stay with a friend for two months, well that is what I told Max and Lance when in truth I was going to spend time on pack grounds. I was going to join the pack and then see if the Alpha would let me live with Max and Lance but if I couldn't I would be okay with that. I just hoped that Max and Lance would. I pack everything that I'm taking with me up in the boxes and I let out a sigh. All of my clothes fit in the two big ones, and the smaller one held all of my things from the bathroom, then I had my back pack and it had my phone charger in it. 'That should be everything pack up' I thought to myself as I turned off the lights and laid down with my stuffed wolf "I'm not leaving you alone" I said to my wolf stuffed animal as I feel asleep.

After I had been a sleep for a while I started to dream about my mother, and it felt as if it was a memory not a dream. The dream was of me when I was a few years younger with my mother, we was resting next to a lake. Mom was telling me a story of a man that she loved with everything she had, she sounded so happy but when she said she couldn't be with him anymore she was really sad. I was just listing to her at the time, because I didn't know what she was talking about. But now that I found out that I was from a pack and not born a rouge, I wanted to yell at my mother for not telling me things that I should now about myself. All of a sudden I felt someone shaking me and I opened my eyes, Max and Lance was looking at me "Sweetie…." Max said and I looked down at the bed "I'll call my friend and see if he can come pick me tonight Max and Lance." I said to them and they looked at me with confusing "We are just worried about you." Max said to me "From the night maires I've had over the time I've been here, you two know what I am." I said and Lance nodded his head "I thank you both for being so kind to me and loving to me, but I must do this so I will not hurt you or anyone that I care about." I said to them and they hugged me and I hugged them back, before they left the room.

After Max and Lance had been out of the room for a while I picked up my phone and dialed Tyler's number. I put the phone up to my phone and waited for him to answer, when he picked up he didn't sound like he was a sleep "Sorry to make you stop whatever your doing Tyler" I said to him and I just heard him chuckle "It's alright Jaz what is wrong?" He ask me and I smiled a bit "Um could you come and pick me up please, Max and her husband want me out of here." I said to him and I heard him gasp "I'll be there in five minutes Jaz, just wait for me on the porch." He said to me "I will Tyler" I said as we hung up with each other. I carried all of my things out of the house and to the porch, and then I sat down on the porch and waited on Tyler to pick me up.

When I seen I head lights of Tyler's 2021 candy apple Dodge Challenger pull up into the drive way, I stud up to meet him after he turned off his baby. He got out of his car and walked around to me and I meet him at the bottom of the porch and hugged him "Thanks a lot for this man" I said to him "It's not a problem, let's get these boxes and this nice dress loaded up into the car." He said and I nodded my head as we loaded my boxes and dress up into his car. Then I got into on the passenger's side and he got back in the drivers side and started to drive back to the pack house.