Tales of a Shifter (P5) - White Mountain

Chapter 8 - Reflections

Chapter 8 – Reflections

I love you...

Brandon woke up one week exactly from attack on the Clan Lands.

I love you Brandon...

No matter how he tried to drown it out, those words just kept trilling across his heart and mind.

The events of the meeting with Hovel and all of the harm that had been done was still quite fresh in Brandon's mind.

He wouldn't complain, not when so much had befallen Glen and Mantilo, Lander, Nate and Walter and worst of all Ezekiel. Ezekiel who was falling in love with him.

After Ezekiel had said those three words....Brandon had cracked up and went AWOL.

He had all but went stealth ninja in every attempt to avoid coming face to face with the Guardian.

Brandon closed his eyes as he felt the ghost caress of Ezekiel's lips on his skin. He shivered, rubbed a hand across his face and sighed. It was disconcerting to be enamored with Ezekiel the way that he had allowed himself to become.

Not only was it impossible for them to work, but it was so unfair. Brandon was a confused dangerous mess. While Ezekiel was the exact opposite. He was too much. Too handsome, too strong, to sexy, to perfect.

Why!?

Brandon wanted to shout.

Why did we have to meet like this?

Ignoring the ache in his heart that refused to flee Brandon slowly got dressed in a simple pair black khakis and a loose blue cotton shirt. He slipped on his boots and headed out of the door to his new bedroom

Brandon had already realized that he had woken up much earlier than he normally ever did.

So he was surprised to realize that almost everyone else in the house was awake as well. Each of the doors that would normally have been closed at this early hour were wide open and the room's occupants were all missing. The only room that still had a closed door was Ezekiels and that made sense since Ezekiel was on patrol miles away from the Mansion.

Walter and Nates rooms were empty and Brandon had a strange feeling that if he went up two floors past the servant's floor that Mantilo and Glen would also be absent from their room. But where had they gone?

Unfortunately this mystery was never answered.

Brandon walked silently across the thick brown carpet in the hall until he came to the stairs. He descended them to the first floor and nearly lost his footing on the final step when Walters's voice floated through the quiet home. "Brandon, I think we need to talk."

Brandon clocked on to the graceful, but powerful stilithouse of Ezekiels older Brother standing in the foyer.

***

"No! I'm not talking about this with you Walter!" Brandon found himself nearly shouting in embarrassment a few minutes later.

Walter had cornered him in the hallway, and without much preamble the large and mostly stoic brother had carted Brandon into the living room....and then point blank with a straight face he had asked a serious question.

"Brandon....Ezekiel is in a bad place. He says he confessed his love to you...and you did not give him an answer. It is cruel to leave him in this state...so tell why you're letting him suffer?" Walter had said all of this with a strait dead face, and a hollow voice...as if he weren't speaking about something completely private and personal.

The absurdity of the moment....and the fact that they were effectively alone in the room together had Brandon biting his head off in shock and annoyance. "What the hell?" Brandon gripped at the Eldest Guardian. "Walter, all due respect. But this has nothing to do with you! Why would Ezekiel bring you into this!?"

Walter hissed, dry and low. "Brandon I am his big brother and his future Clan Head....I have been Ezekiel's confidant for a long time. A pillar. " The large man rumbled glancing away. "Does it really seem so strange to you that Ezekiel would come to me for advice? Romantic or otherwise?"

Feeling the need to concede to the calm strength in Walters gaze Brandon shook his head and sighed. "No I guess not." Brandon gave grudgingly. Then he put his arms over his chest and asked him. "But why are you asking me so directly? Did Ezekiel ask you to do this? Are you planning to go back to him with my answers or something?"

Walter put up a large palm, the movement easily silencing Brandon and the stream of questions he was barking at the man, before the large Guardian dropped his hand and replied evenly.

"I am not here in any fashion or urging of Ezekiel. I am not going to report back to Ezekiel what you tell me. I am here simply because I am worried for my sibling...and for a man that is a friend of my family. You. Now....tell me why have you been avoiding him, because he knows you've been avoiding him like the plague."

A serious and private part of Brandon rebelled at that moment. He did not want to discuss what was going on with him and Ezekiel. He didn't want to put a voice to the tumultuous emotions swirling in his head every time he thought of Ezekiel. Brandon didn't want to acknowledge the pain and joy that had risen when he had heard Ezekiel proclaim those three beautiful words. And yet....still they echoed in Brandon's heart. Defiant of his privacy....proclaiming his hopeless infatuation and joy.

I love you. I love you Brandon.

And just like that Brandon realized that as Ezekiel had sought out council from his elder brother....perhaps Brandon needed to do the same. Walter was the only brother out of them all that Brandon knew and understood the least.

Brandon wondered if this fact was what suddenly made the large Guardian appeal to him.

But regardless of why....oddly enough Walter did appeal to him. There was something about the Elder Guardian. Something powerful....but also something terribly sad. Something broken and dangerous.

To Brandon It felt like the two of them were reflections of some dark cosmic joke.

Brandon closed his eyes and let out a long weary breath, then Brandon turned walked across the room and plopped down into one of the chairs positioned across from another high-backed wooden chair next coffee table holding a few partially melted candles.

Walter lumbered over and took a seat opposite him. Then he just sat there. Brandon knew that the Guardian was waiting on him to speak....but words refused to form.

Until Walter lifted a hand and gestured at Brandon capturing his eyes as he said. "Brandon listen to me. It is clear that you care for him or you would not have sat down with me. You're both troubled. I know what is upsetting my brother. Tell me what is upsetting you."

"Ezekiel...he just doesn't understand!" Brandon reluctantly, but strongly replied, his heart seizing as he spoke. "I....I have no idea what the hell I am or where I come from ....I Just...I can't be with him..." Brandon stopped and felt the stones in his stomach churn. The more he thought about his circumstances the more he felt them cursing anything and everything between him and Ezekiel.

"You can't? Why? Is there a physical wall blocking you? Or perhaps is it because of your past...and because of the Flame you feel this way?" Walter inquired softly, settling forwards on his elbows, balancing them on his knees and putting his hands to his chin. His brown eyes still holding Brandon's.

"Yes, the Flame and the Alchemists, and a Trillion other things!" Brandon sharply nodded. "WE shouldn't get involved with each other. I know it won't work! I cant get involved."

To this Walter raised an eyebrow, the act reflecting no emotion, but in his eyes there was a spark of something like annoyance. What was irritating him Brandon couldn't be sure. Hell, he couldn't even be sure he saw anything like emotions flickering in the twin brown pools of silence that were Walters's eyes.

"Ezekiel said that he told you that none of that mattered. Not Flame or the Alchemists." Walter slowly and surely replied, speaking the words Ezekiel must have told him. "Ezekiel told me that WHAT you are doesn't make up WHO you are to him. He just wants you beside him. So? Why turn away from potential happiness? Why do you believe these things still matter if they don't?"

"Because they DO! I f*****g eat things Walter!" Brandon suddenly screamed at the emotionless wall, but he knew he was only taking his anger and pain out on the wrong person.

"I feast on energy with a creepy weird white light that grows out of my soul somehow!" Brandon began to rant, listing all of the things he had been telling himself ever since Ezekiel had first spoken out his feelings.

"Then if people eat my blood they heal...or they die, depending on how much they ingest! AND now I can make people explode if I concentrate really really f*****g hard!" Brandon shook his head and tightened his fists in the arms of the chair. "I don't know what the f**k I am! I only know that I'm not natural Walter. I've hurt so many people who didn't deserve to be hurt! I'm a monster! THINGS LIKE THAT f*****g MATTER!! OK!?"

Suddenly, and with the most human snarl that Brandon had ever herd Walter utter, the eldest Guardian rushed out of his seat, reached out and nearly plucked Brandon from his chair, and held him up by the front of his shirt. Fists like hams twisted the clothing up over Brandon's stomach and back, rubbing him painfully around the collar, as Walter balanced him on air and on the tips of his toes. Walters face was a granite mask of pain and hatred....no it was more like self-loathing.

IT transformed the man that Brandon had perhaps foolishly believed to be gentle, dull and calm into a vibrating mass of barely concealed raw and dangerous emotion.

" Then be a Monster no more! It only matters if you are unwilling to fight for more! Do you want to sit here comparing f*****g sins with me Brandon!?" Walter growled in Brandon's face harshly. The intensity behind his question was like a sizzle of fire.

Even his voice had transformed in a matter of seconds. It was fuller, richer. No longer did Walters's voice have the emotionless rumble of before. This furious deep growling sounded like the real Shifter behind the mask that Walter wore. A man with passion and feelings.....consumed by misery.

"Do you think that crying to me about your pains somehow make you less of a fool for letting your past control you!? Well then I want you to listen to me. Listen to every word that I say...and when I finish....you will never get me to speak of this again. Now nod if you understand me...." Walter stopped and stared at him intently, waiting, until Brandon nodded back at him unable to do anything else.

Brandon was shocked to see such intense emotions swirling in the normally distant elder brothers brown heavy eyes. And he was more than unsure about what was about to happen next.

Once Brandon nodded, signaling that he understood, Walter dropped a terrible bombshell in a voice so cold and ragged it seemed as if he was holding back a mountain.

"Once before you asked me to explain my Innate Abilities to you...and I told you that I simply tell others what to do and that they obey me Right? I let you believe that I hypnotize people and they do as I ask." Walter stopped inhaled and explained. "But the truth is that I command others to obey me. I break their very soul and ben their minds yo my will. Honestly I can make a man set himself on fire if I truly wished to. This is the extent of the power inside of me. It is dangerous and more tempting then all the temptations of the flesh and the soul combined to me." Walter swallowed thickly.

He seemed to be working up to something, and when he finally found his words, they came from him in the form of a ragged whisper and with haunted misty eyes.

"I once succumbed to the temptation in my youth." He softly conveyed his eyes drifting into some old memory. "I liked the power of being a puppet master. I used my Abilities to abuse people at times, to play with their minds and torture their hearts. It was fun to terrorize those weaker then me "

Walter shuttered and continued. "Then in my jealousy and pride I killed my best friend, my unborn child and the mother of my unborn child with my own powers.....because I was consumed with the darkest of feelings. Lust."

All while Walter had spoken his fists had slowly unfurled from Brandon's clothing until the Guardian suddenly dropped his hands to his side and Brandon was left standing inches in front of him.

Brandon was unable to move or speak at this point because he was too busy watching Walter, listening to the terrible things spilling from his suddenly animated mouth.

Walter was shaking now, his body trembling as if he were fighting something inside, and then to Brandon's intense shock....tears began to slide from the tortured and downcast eyes of the eldest Guardian.

"I killed them all Brandon." Walter slowly outlined. "I took the life of my child and the woman that I loved. I...I did these terrible things. I'm the monster. I can't even....let myself feel anything anymore because if I did!? Then all I feel is the Temptation calling me. The compulsion to break people....like toys around me! So!? Tell me? Does our evil compare!?" Walter choked, as he put his face in his hands and sunk down to his knees, completely overcome and overrun by his emotions that seemed to be slamming into him like trains derailing.

"Walter I..." Brandon swallowed and lapsed back into silence. He stood, watching Ezekiels brother...and feeling his heart tumbling in pain for him. He wanted to speak, but....

What could he say to a confession like that? Especially when Walter had already expressed in no uncertain terms that he was not going to rehash the events. Brandon couldn't ask for clarification....or bring himself to care about it. He didn't need details or the names of the victims of even to understand exactly how Walers power, his Temptation worked. He simply believed this raw dramatic show of guilt.

Brandon understood the tragedy in Walters mind all too well. Brandon knew this kind of pain....he had lived it. He was still living in it.

Guilt and shame were far worse than any hell. Looking at Walter was like looking down at a broken mirror. So many painful shards reflecting back pieces of Brandon's own misery.

Suddenly Brandon whished that Ezekiel was there. His Bossy and gentle Guardian had always been able to speak the words that had somehow managed to soothe Brandon's soul. And In that moment Brandon knew that Walter needed someone to help him. To pull him back from that terrible dark inner demon.

So stuck in moment of sympathetic horror Brandon could only look at Walter with new eyes.

But.....looking at Walter breaking apart before him soon called something up inside of Brandon that he wasn't prepared for. The overwhelming urge to sooth and to calm him.

Brandon had never felt such a rush of powerful emotions before directed at anyone except for Ezekiel. This was so unlike the constant anger and hatred and fear he was always feeling for the Flame and for his enemies. Himself.

Brandon squeezed at his heart as a rush of warmth cascaded across his mind, urging him forwards.

So with a small flare of inner surprise Brandon found himself dropping down next to Ezekiels brother and soundlessly embracing him. Brandon wrapped arms around Walters neck from the side and held his face to his chest.

The soft brush of his black hair on Brandon chin was surprising and his size made the act seem almost comical but Brandon just held on. Walter was a giant trembling furnace of muscle. He seemed to be made of heat, and his entire form was ridged as silent sobs rocked him. Unlike Ezekiel, Walter did not smell of sweet pine and soap, smells that had chased Brandon into his dreams at night. No, Walter smelled of fresh air and sweeter fresh earth.

Still if Brandon was expecting his touch to help Walter calm down, he would have been dismayed to witness the Guardian simply start to cry harder and harder, as if Brandon's touch were causing the larger Guardian pain.

But....Brandon hadn't really know what would happen when he touched Walter.

So when the large man simply bowed deeper into himself and cried more intently, Brandon took that in, he let Walter break down and soon enough he had Walters head in his lap. Walters face was turned into his lap, his arms cradling his head. His large and long body leveled past Brandon. His breath and touch was solid and a shock, but not unwanted. Instead Brandon felt more wanted and needed in that moment then he truly knew how to describe. He had never given another living being comfort before and he found that the experience was compelling and overwhelming.

Unable to feel anything but the warmth in his heart...or pain for Walter, Brandon didn't think too much as he calmly caressed at Walters crown. Stroking the short black locks against the back of Walters scalp and down his thick strong nape.

Because Brandon was currently wearing his leather gloves the touch of Walters's hair didn't register to his senses, all he felt was the hot rush of his temperature, and the gasping cries that he was holding back.

The large Shifter held him tighter though, seeming utterly unprepared for the tsunami that had been unlocked by his truth. 

*Are you surprised about Walters confession? Do you think hes just a much of a monster as Brandon?*