Faded Love [Mature Content]

C .12-The Past Never Stays in The Past

It was one of those days ,when your best friend asks you to accompany her to visit the grave of the woman who raised and loved her unconditionally.

Rebecca was a strong and beautiful woman. But to wake up each morning and accept the brutal reality of losing a loved one, let alone a parent, it does something to one’s mind. She never understood the reasons behind the killer's actions.

Not why he did it.

Nightmare after nightmare plagued her dreams, seeing her mother’s lifeless body lying on the floor. Regret, anger and loss was all she had felt for so long.

The regret of not being able to do anything.

Anger and rage at the bastard who broke into their home. Anger at herself for being so useless, and also at her father, for abandoning them when they needed him the most.

And lastly, loss. It was the emotional pain. The Hardest feeling in the entire world.

For days on end, Rebecca had felt loneliness and isolation. She hated how everyone pitied her. “She didn’t die of natural causes.” That was what she would say every time someone said, “I’m sorry for your loss.”

For her, their apologies wouldn’t bring her mother back, neither would it hurt any less. So, when they acknowledged her paid, she simply nodded and walked away.

Although it had been over fifteen years since, he snatched her mother away. Every year on this date, June 23rd; her mother’s birthday, Rebecca visited her mother’s grave with a bouquet.

Her mother never liked flowers. She had said no one ever gave them to her, so they weren’t of sentimental value. Knowing this, Rebecca would leave her a fresh bouquet every year.

Last year were peonies, and this year were roses. She wanted her mother to receive all the flowers she didn’t receive when she was alive.

“Thank you for coming with me, it really means a lot and I know my mom appreciates it as well.” She stared at Juliette with tears in her eyes.

Juliette never liked to see the woman shed a tear and if there was something to which she could’ve done, she would. Unfortunately, the pain of losing a mom wasn’t something one can just wish away. If it was, she would’ve done it for herself.

She shook her head, “you don’t need to thank me, I’ll always be here for you.” Juliette offered a gentle smile. “Would you like some time with your mom? I can wait in the car.” She motioned towards her parked ride with a thumb.

“No, I want you here with me, please.”

“Okay, babe.” Juliette reassured her and took hold of her hand, giving it a light squeeze.

From where she stood, holding hands with Rebecca. She can feel her emotions rolling off like a tidal wave. It wasn’t the first time she had gone to visit the gravesite with her, but every time they do, it always left them both in tears.

“Hey momma!” Rebecca cooed, wiping a tear from her stained cheeks, “Happy birthday, mom. I really wish you were here.” She continued, sobbing uncontrollably.

Trying to soothe her, or offer some comfort, Juliette rubbed small circles on her hand. It was the least she could’ve done.

***

“Are you okay?” Juliette placed a hand on Rebecca’s shoulder. They were currently at a small diner grabbing a bite to eat.

She simply nodded.

After waiting for about five minutes, a middle-aged woman with highlights of silver hair approached their table. For their current state, she seemed a little too perky, especially so early in the afternoon.

The diner was practically empty, except for three other customers enjoying their meal. Behind the cash register, a girl with dirty blonde hair pumped the machine for change.

Everything was so defined. Maybe a little too defined. From the neat little table set up, to the pink and purple frill curtains, it almost looked like it was decorated by a ten-year-old.

“What will it be ladies, coffee, some tea. Or how about a delicious slice of heaven, our own homemade recipe pecan pie.

“How about just a burger with fries with a chocolate milkshake?” Juliette returned the menu to the stand on the table.

“What about you little lady?” She looked over at Rebecca.

“Nothing for me, thank you.” Rebecca responded without giving the woman a glance. “She’ll have the same, thank you.” Juliette piped up.

“Sure thing.” The server beamed at them and walked back to the counter to place their orders.

Moments passed without anything being said. That free time, Juliette used it to check her emails, replying to a few.

“Are you sure you’re okay? I know what today does to you and I wish there was something I can do to take away your hurt. I honestly do.”

“I’m okay, just need a moment to catch my bearings, ya’ know.”

“I do babe,” Juliette placed a hand on hers. “Take as much time as you need, just know I’m here for you. Always.”

Juliette could remember the depression she always felt after visiting her parents. The empty hole in her heart that never seems to get filled by anything or anyone else. For years, she was traumatized. Afraid to get behind the wheel, let alone to get into a vehicle.

Normally, people said things like a death may get easy over time, but Juliette never felt that way. She knew that their death will always stay with her, no matter how old she got.

The saddest part for her was, they never got to see her off to prom. They never got to see her graduate or fall in love for the first time. Much less when she got her first job, they couldn’t be there to celebrate with her.

Nothing was ever the same after their death and will never be. Now she had to watch as her best friend goes through the same thing. It might have been a different situation, nonetheless, the pain was the same.

She never compared her situation to Rebecca’s, no matter how drastic they may be. They both lost their parents and now, all they have was each other.

“Enjoy.” The woman placed their food on the table with a nod. Juliette thanked her, and they both dug in, enjoying the delicious flavors from each bite.

Juliette and Rebecca finished their meal, paid and left the diner without a location in mind. One thing she knew they needed, was to get their minds off of the tragedy. And there was one place she knew where they both can feel a sense of calm and peace.

The beach.

So, with the destination in mind, she swerved through the on-coming traffic, avoiding an accident, until eventually she came to a halt.

The salty water roared, hitting the rocks with every wave. The blue skies clear of any clouds. A perfect day for the beach.

“I thought this would be a good place for us to clear our heads?” She shifted in her seat, looking at Rebecca. Like the clear blue skies, her face was vacant of any emotion.

Rebecca looked out of the window without saying a word. She had asked for space and even though Juliette wanted to respect her wishes, she didn’t want her friend to be alone. Especially not at a time like this.

“If you would rather we go home, we can do that.” She continued when she didn’t get a reply.

“It’s okay, we can stay.”

Juliette grabbed her hand and pulled it close, “you’ll get through this, I know you will.” Rebecca nodded and exited the car, leaving Juliette behind.

Rebecca didn’t know how to feel. She knew Juliette was only trying to help, but the last thing she needed was pity or sympathy. A stray tear ran down her cheeks, and she wrapped her arms around her body to keep warm from the chill of the ocean breeze.

When she was younger, the water would calm her, now all it did was bring back painful memories of her with her mother at the beach. It was the last place she wanted to be; however, she didn’t want to say anything.

Maybe it was time to create new memories. Good ones. That’s what she thought as she gazed at Juliette walking closer to her with a blanket and an apologetic smile.