Diamonds for Tears

It hurts so much

Rose

Talking to Blanca made me feel better. Not better of the situation, but better as in my best friend has my back. We talked about the mating rituals and what I read about it for a short amount of time, but we soon switched it. Because she told me all about her training, she will be a Luna.

A Luna is the equal of the alpha in the pack. She is the mate of the alpha now. And because she had only trained to become a beta, she now has to learn how to take care of a pack from a decision-making level.

She will be fine. It is like she was born to do this, maybe that is why she was paired with an alpha mate. To complete him. They are perfect together; it is easy to see how much they adore each-other.

Leaving thoughts about Matteo and Daemon aside. Because thinking of them and worrying is never a good thing.

I do have my duties, and they are not Luna duties.

I help with the restaurant. That is why I came to Italy, to help. I mean to get a job and make money, but after everything how can I ask for money from Blanca’s parents?

I spend my mornings reading, or looking for a new book to devour.

Weird thing is that Matteo is nowhere to be seen. When I ask for him, they always tell me that he is busy. I get that it’s not easy but come on, I would have liked the truth, even if it hurt!

At the restaurant they need me to help at lunch and dinner. So, between them I have about 4 hours of rest. That have now become me and Lucian time.

„Hey there love. What new book are we reading today?” Lucian and me time usually meant that I brought a book and asked him about it. He reads more than I do. Or he is cheating. I still haven’t found out how he cheats.

„This one is about you.”

„ME?”

„Well not exactly you. But about dorme.”

„Need not bother with that book. I can tell you everything you want to know about my kind and then some.”

„How old are you?”

„How old are you? What a silly question. I need not answer that!” and he kissed me. It took me by surprize. A small kiss on the cheek.

„Am I your only mate?”

„You are my only everything!” and he kissed my cheek again, but closer to my lips.

He makes me smile.

„Do you ever answer questions the normal way?”

„What would be the fun in that?”

This time I kissed him on the lips. But it was not just a small one. My arms went behind his head, and I hugged him. He hugged me back and started kissing me back with passion until I had no air left. Leaving the kiss for air, I looked him in the eyes. Just looked at him, and placed a smaller kiss on his lips.

„May I visit you in your room?”

I think that my cheeks blushed with a million red colours.

„Not like that. Just to spend time together. I feel like this is not enough anymore.”

„Yes, I would like that. But ….”

„No buts.”

He kissed me again. And I forgot what I wanted to find out. To know more about him. He placed me on his lap, hugged me and I rested my back on his chest.

We were just looking at the lake, admiring the forest and listening to the wonderful music coming from the birds. I could stay like this forever.

Matteo

I am avoiding Rose at all cost. I even told the wolves that live in the pack house that if she asks for me that I am busy. I am such a coward. I should just tell her and get it over with. But I can’t. Some nights I go into her room and watch her sleep, that is when my wolf comes out and talks to me. When I am near her, he howls in pain. He knows what I want to do.

I am such a coward.

I can’t help myself. I need her. Without thinking I go next to her, in her bed. And I start kissing her rough and as she waked up and stares at me I rip her clothes of and have my way with her. It was not pretty, she was a virgin, and I just took it from her. My mind was clouded and all I could think about was f*****g her. In one swift motion I was inside of her, tearing her up. She will hurt, she will be hurt in the morning. But I cannot stop myself.

She just looked at me. Not a single word, no shouting, no crying. What is wrong with her?

Good thing I didn’t mark her. So, I can get on with my life and find a suitable Luna, a strong Luna for my pack.

She is so tight that I finished fast to my shame. But the other girls I have been with were different.

After I finished, I left her there and went in my room to take a shower. She didn’t even move or look at me when I left.

I am somehow glad I got it over with and now I can focus on more important things.

Rose

I am just looking at him. Not in a million years did I think that this could happen to me. And of all the people to do it.

I am sure I locked the door. He must have gotten the key. It is his house after all.

After he left, I got up slowly and went to the bathroom without turning the light on. My body hurts, I hurt so much. But it is better if I just stop feeling. I just want it to go away. I didn’t want to see myself in the mirror. I took a shower so hot that my skin turned red, got dressed and headed for the clearing in the forest where I usually meet Lucian. And sure enough there he was.

„Hey love. Are you ok? What happened? I was going to see you, in your room. …”

He saw my tears before I felt them and hugged me. I was shaking but not from the cold. He didn’t say a word, just held me in his arms.

„He did it. I want to go… I want to go home now!” there was no going back on what I said. Lucian started to grow, to transform. What is happening?

^I am sorry dearest. ^

^Sorry for what? ^

^I have to do this. I will tell you about it. Just get somewhere safe. Go home. ^

^Lucian please stop. ^

The beast he was transforming into looked at me. It was still him but bigger, with more muscles and his eyes were glowing like fire was in them.

^I want to kill him … ^ but he did not get to finish what he wanted to say because I was in pain.

„Make it stop. Please make it stop. It hurts so bad.” I screamed from the top of my lungs. It burned to bad.

Lucian rushed to me and held me in his lap.

„Where does it hurt?”

„My stomach …” and I showed him where it hurt.

He held me in his lap for a long time, the pain started to fade and I felt tired.

„I want to go to sleep. Please don’t take me back to the pack-house.”

„Shhh, it is ok … I am taking you somewhere safe. You are with me now. Sleep. No worries anymore.”

He was still talking to me but I started to drift to sleep. I feel safe in his arms.