Between Duty And Desire

Chapter 3

Hailey

When I got home that night, I didn’t check on anybody. I didn’t peek into Amy’s room to see if she was asleep, nor did I look for Raymond in the sitting room. I went straight to my bedroom. My clothes clung to my skin, still heavy from the rain that had drenched me earlier.

A stranger had been the one to drop me home, what if he had kidn*pped me, What if he had dragged me into some dark corner and ended my story right there?Would Raymond have noticed?

That thought twisted in my stomach, almost a year, I had slaved myself in this house, clinging to the fragile hope that one day Raymond would look past the shadow of his ex wife and actually see me. That maybe Amy would stop glaring at me with eyes that always screamed you’re not my mother. I told myself if I cooked more, cleaned more, smiled more, if I poured enough love into the cracks of their broken family, they would finally let me in.

But instead of being welcomed, I had been humiliated again and again. And tonight had been the last straw.

I was done shrinking myself, done begging for a place in a house where my worth was measured by the meals I cooked and the floors I scrubbed.

So, I stayed in my room all morning, I didn’t come out to cook or to check on anyone. When Raymond finally came knocking, I opened the door to his glare. He didn’t even try to hide his irritation.

“I went downstairs and breakfast isn’t ready, you overslept. We are hungry.”

Typical Raymond, not a single word about whether I had gotten home safely. Just hunger, his and Amy’s stomachs are his priority.

“Well, I’m not in the mood to cook,” I said, my voice sharper than I intended. “I got drenched in the rain last night, and I am not feeling well.”

“You look fine,” he countered, waving a hand as though my words were dust in the air. “Just whip something simple for Amy and me, we won’t complain.”

Anger boiled inside of me, I looked at him and for the first time in a long time, I felt nothing but anger.

“Why don’t you go into the kitchen and make whatever it is yourself?” I shot back. “Or better, order something online. I’m not coming downstairs anytime soon.”

I slammed the door in his face, my heart raced, not from fear but from the rush of finally standing up for myself.

I had never refused a chore in this house. I had bent myself into shapes I didn’t recognize just to please him, to prove I deserved to be here. From this day on, I would live on my own terms.

Hours later, hunger forced me downstairs. The house was a mess, empty plates scattered on the coffee table, crumbs littering the rug. Raymond and Amy were in the sitting room, playing a video game. He didn’t even look up when he spoke.

“Hailey, get me a cup of water, I am thirsty. And since it’s past lunch, you should be feeling better by now. Make something, we are hungry.”

I didn’t reply, I went straight to the kitchen, pulled out some leftovers from the fridge, and slid them into the microwave. I sat on the counter, scrolling through my phone, and ate in silence.

Raymond walked in, “What’s going on with you today? I told you to get me water, you are sitting here eating like you didn’t hear me.”

I looked up, chewing slowly. “And now that you’ve walked into the kitchen yourself, you didn’t die, did you?”

His brows furrowed. “What does that even mean, What has gotten into you?” He grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, placing it on the counter with more force than necessary.

“It means run your errands yourself. Don’t work me to death, I’m not making dinner tonight either. Whatever you and Amy eat, you can prepare it yourselves or order it in. I will be in my room.”

“The reason you’re in this house is to take care of my daughter and me,” he snapped. “Don’t think you’re irreplaceable. If this is about last night, throwing tantrums won’t get you an apology.”

I set my plate aside, I was furious at this point, “Exactly, I wasn’t expecting an apology. But I should let you know this marriage isn’t working for me. I’m fed up, I won’t be your cook, nanny, cleaner, or laundry woman anymore. Hire someone if that’s what you want. I’m done.”

His eyes darkened. “Then move out, if you are fed up, get out of my house. I can get women better than you in a heartbeat. Don’t forget, I’m the one doing you a favor. You were homeless when I took you in. Beggars shouldn’t have choices.”

I sighed, standing to face him. “I knew this marriage was built on convenience, on you needing someone to take care of you and Amy. I only hoped one day you might actually love me, but I was wrong. I will move out soon, Raymond, until then, handle your own chores yourself or get a housekeeper.” I turn to leave.

He grabbed my arm, turning me sharply to face him, “After everything I’ve done for you, leech, this is how you repay me, you dump me in my vulnerable moment?”

There it was again, the gaslighting and guilt tripping. Every argument ended the same way, him painting himself as the victim, as though being bankrupt excused the way he treated me. He made it about money, about sacrifice, about how women couldn’t be trusted. It was always the same tired speech.

“I’m tired, Raymond,” I said, pulling my arm free. “I’m tired of you and your daughter treating me like trash. If you want to believe I’m leaving because of your bad investments, then so be it. Think whatever you like.”

I walked toward the door, only to find Amy standing there, she had been eavesdropping, her little face blank. I didn’t spare her a glance, I brushed past her, climbed the stairs, and shut myself in my room.

For the rest of the day, I didn’t come down. The house could crumble around me, and I wouldn’t lift a finger. From now on, Raymond and Amy would learn exactly what life was like without me breaking my back to hold it all together.

And maybe it is time for me to start thinking about a life outside these walls.