43 The first time
The strong sun on my head beats me into a soporific state. It’s like a drug. A drug that I need. It gives me energy, but at the same time it takes me away to another place.
I walk aimlessly. When I’m in this state, I switch off. My mind goes elsewhere. This, though, is how I want to be. This is me at peace. This is where I’m comfortable. This is where I can stop fighting it, stop pretending to cope. Stop trying to live a normal life.
This is the only time all my senses open up. The sun feels stronger. The air smells fresher. The stones on the loose footpath poke and prod at my feet through the soles of my sandals.
I’m alive.
It’s a strange feeling, being both so incredibly energetic yet sedate and calm at the same time. I guess this is what being in a trance feels li
