The Two Faced
1194 Words
I've been walking for what has felt for days, I never knew how far the high school really was until now. It should be that the closer I get to the school I should be getting less worried but it's not like that at all, with every step I take I get a wave of distress and anxiety, it's hard to keep moving not knowing what is waiting for me at that school, knowing what I just might have to do, I don't think I could do that to my sister if they got to her. Alex started to shed a tear, he wouldn't know what to do, what if he freezes and they start to rip him limb from limb, feeling every single bite that those things would take from him. But even after thinking all this Alex still took that step, he didn't care what would happen if those things ripped him limb from limb, from what the knowledge he had Alex didn't know if there were even more of what Alex calls zombies. Alex could not live with himself if his sister was alive, if she survived and he found out later that he could have found her at the school, Alex would not be able to go on with his life. So Alex took that step, he moved his right foot forward then his left, he had been determined to find his sister at the school safe with the other kids. It felt like a lifetime before reaching the last stretch to the school, but there was something in the distance. Alex had to squint his eyes to see the shadowy object in the distance, it looked like a big roadblock, Alex was hoping it wasn't. every time Alex blinked it was as if the object got bigger but Alex wasn't sure if the object was moving or if it was because he was getting closer. For some reason there was fog everywhere it seemed so weird because it was extremely rare for this kind of weather to be going on in a small suburb town. Alex kept walking towards the shadowy figure, with every step he took it looked like a wall or a blockage in the road, Alex remembered that there was a bridge that crossed over a large wash, it had been raining for the past couple days so the wash was probably filled to the top and running, Alex was hoping that there would be nothing blocking that bridge, alex started to worry again so he started to pace faster, Alex sped up even more, at this point he was running at his highest speed.....Alex drops to his knees, he just stares blankly at the cars on fire blocking the bridge, staring at the running wash. There was nothing he could do, he couldn't go around the wash, he could cross the bridge. All Alex could think while there were raindrops dripping down his face was how could he be this unlucky, how could someone let this happen, how could this happen to him. Alex was slipping back into the darkness, you could barely notice the tears dripping down his face because of the rain, Alex just sat there sitting and waiting for something good to happen. Alex stared straight up and yelled, yelling "how could you have let this happen, how could you separate me and the one person that I care for!!!". Alex slowly looked back at the ground, he was clueless he didn't know where to go from here. Alex felt as if there was an endless amount of pain about to hit, he was waiting for the rest of the tears building up to spill out as if a damn was about to flood an entire city. Before Alex's dad left he told Alex that being a man meant that Alex couldn't cry because crying was for girls, he told him that because he was going to be the man of the house now he was going to have to work harder than everyone else to keep the house together, and safe; but what Alex didn't understand at the time is that it was never going to be that same, what alex didn't know was that crying wasnt only for girls. All these years, all the times Alex could have let everything out, he held back, he kept saying to himself that it wasn't ok, and told himself that he was weak if he let himself get emotional, that everything that was strong in his life was going to become weak and fall apart. There is no such thing as in the saying "I don't lie and I never have", with every sentence there is a sprinkle of lie, it's what being human comes with, or so we thought. Alex thought to himself, "I've been hiding from everyone, from myself...I have no idea what I'm doing here, there is no reason for me to be here, I've been the punching bag for everyone, I take all the hate, all the bullying, all the bruises, all the heartaches. When will I get the chance to be the one to talk, to express, when will I get to say what I have to say instead of hiding! I ask myself every single day when I get home and sit in the corner of my room staring into the thin fibers of air itself, why do I do this to myself, why do I take everything even though at the end of the night i'm the one hurting, i'm the one sitting there wondering how i'm even still alive, there was never a moment where I think to myself that maybe I should just let everyone know what i'm feeling on a daily." After these long and enduring thoughts, there follows a "but". Alex told himself that the reason why he does this every day, the reason why Alex is still here taking more and more from the world, the universe is not because he's strong, not because he has faith that one day it will be different, in fact it that he knows there are happy people out there because of him, if that means that at the end of the night Alex is sitting in the corner of his room staring into nothing then Alex was okay with that. People are always talking about the two faced, the ones that may seem extremely, well; nice, kind, sincere. But when they are hidden away, they take off the mask that they hide behind. But there always two sides to a story, Alex is very much two faced but not in the way that you think, at school Alex is seen as the happy and energetic kid at school, but the second Alex gets off the bus and into his room, Alex takes off his mask and looks in the mirror to see all the lies of happiness spill out onto the floor, but as soon as he realizes that it's happening he wipes his face and puts the mask back on.
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