Find Me

Chapter 7

Friday

Charlotte

            Last night I told my mom I was tired and going to bed to avoid any conversation about Liam, and I woke up at 10, knowing she would be at work. I did not however, know that Nick would be here.  I was eating a bowl of cereal when I heard the sound of footsteps and at first I thought it was the cat, but then the bathroom door shut and I heard the shower turn on. I grab my cereal and quietly sneak back into my room. I sit in my room with the door locked trying to make as little noise as possible and wait for him to leave.

            The shower turns off and a few minutes later I can hear him walk back to my mom’s room. Its not that I think he is a bad guy. I don’t really know him that well to be honest. I do know, that he likes to hug and kiss and I do not. He also tries to talk to me, with deep conversations, and I am not into that either. I would much rather be left alone.

            I hear his footsteps come closer to my door then I hear a soft knock. “Charlotte, are you awake? I am going food shopping if you want to come.”

            I don’t say anything and after a few seconds he goes down the stairs. I breathe out the breath I had been holding. A few minutes later I watch from my window as he starts his car, scrapes off the ice, and leaves. I stand here and think about last night, when Liam sat in his car for five minutes before driving off. What was he thinking about? Did he realize that I was too much and not worth the time and effort? Seeing my car under a pile of snow, I decide to clean it off. It probably wont start because it is a piece of crap. It won’t even make it to school, found that out freshman year.

            I put on warm clothes and dig out my winter boots. Stopping by the shed, I look for a shovel and found a bunch of boxes instead. I peek inside them, curiosity getting the best of me, and it’s a bunch of random stuff, Nick’s stuff. I guess he has moved in for good now. I close the box and look around the yard hoping to spot the black handle and yellow shovel, and I find it next to the woodpile. I grab it and get to work on my car.

            After about half an hour, the car is cleared off and I can get inside of it. I swear I left the key in the ignition, but its not there so I look around for it, finding it under the seat with a pile of shredded trash. Mice, great. I put the key in and turn it and instantly the car makes a clicking noise, but the engine doesn’t turn over. I shut the door and walk back into the house.

            I text Laura, knowing that she is working and wont text back until this afternoon. I head up to my room and turn on the TV and the day wastes away before me.

Liam

            I wake up to my mom standing in my door. I stretch and blink a few times before she says, “I didn’t know you were coming home.”

            “Its break. Christmas is next week,” I say groggily.

            “Well you never call or text us so how should we know.”

            “Its on the calendar. But I’ll call next time. Sorry.”

            “Its fine, your dad is in China until mid-January so it’s just you and I until then.”

            “Why is he there for so long?” I know he has gone there before, getting clients for his business, but usually only for a week.

            “He is starting a branch over there and needs to see its start up. I don’t know the details. If you want to know more you can call him. There isn’t much to eat here, I didn’t know you were coming, if you want anything else text me and I’ll pick it up on my way home.”

            “Okay, thanks.” I take a good look at her, something is different but I couldn’t say what. She nods her head a couple of times and walks away. I check my phone and have a text from Laura: Good, hope she wasn’t too hard on you. I am surprised she got into your car tho.

            I hit the reply button; She didn’t really get into the car willingly. She leaned in and I pulled her in, then drove off before she could situate herself to get out. She also wouldn’t even look at me at the beginning.

            Did she finally relax?

            I just talked with her and she seemed much better.

            I get up and put on my running gear, it’s a little early, but I’m already up.  I jog for about half an hour then turn around to go home. When I get there, mom’s car is gone from the garage. I head to the kitchen, grab a glass and fill it with water and look around for something to eat while I drink it and find a note on the table: Grandma wants to do Christmas Eve dinner, 6pm. Don’t know why she couldn’t tell me that herself, but okay. There are really only eggs for breakfast foods, so I make three and eat them.

            After my shower I sit on my bed and think about texting Charlotte, but I don’t even have her number. I open the message app and think about sending her something but I don’t want to sound desperate so I unpack and clean my room. Around lunchtime I am bored out of my mind. Usually I would go to the library or the gym, but I’m not in the mood to. I message Charlotte, How’s life at home? Part of me was hoping she would reply instantly, but she doesn’t.

After watching an hour of the news my phone goes off. Pretty boring, you? I felt myself breaking out in a smile, lame I know. I think about what I want to reply. Should I just agree with her or should I ask if she wants to go do something with me?

Same, there is not much to do around here.

Here either, I’ve been waiting all day for Laura to get out of work so I can get out of here.

What are you guys up to tonight?

Christmas shopping, then dinner with my mom. You have any plans?

I don’t, but thanks for reminding me I need to get a few gifts.

She doesn’t respond for about half an hour when finally she replied: You can come with us if you want. We are going to Lebanon.

When are you going?

She kinda has to come back here to get me, so probably a little over an hour.

I could come get you, and we could meet her out there

You don’t need to go out of your way for me.

            I think about my response. I want to tell her that I want to spend more time with her, but I don’t know how to go about it. I decide to keep it simple: I want to. I’m leaving now, see you soon. I grab my stuff and walk out of the house. Opening my phone I add: I’ll text Laura to make sure she knows.  I get into the car and start driving. I push the button for speech to text and I let Laura know that I’m getting her and to tell Charlotte where to meet her.

Charlotte

            I want to. I stare at his text for a minute, until the screen goes dark. I get in the shower. Why hasn’t he given up? I have done nothing to make anything easy for him. His effort, along with he opened up to me, have seemed to break down some of my walls and I think I am starting to really like him, but I don’t want to. I told him last night that it worked, him opening up to me, that I do trust him. I think I did before I was even in his car, I was too scared to admit it though. There is something about him that makes me feel safe, and it scares me.

            I hear a knock at the door as I am getting out of the shower. I was only in there for like, 10 minutes, how did he get here so fast? I grip my towel around me and run to my room. I look out the window and see that it is only the mail. Disappointed I close the curtain and begin changing. Halfway through brushing my hair I hear another knock, followed by Nick saying “Charlotte its for you.” I try to finish as fast as I can, finishing by putting on eyeliner and mascara. Halfway down the stairs I realize I forgot my purse and I go back up. I turn around to go back downstairs and I jump back. Liam is standing in my doorway, looking good if I might add.

            “Hi, I uh, heard you come downstairs and say something then go back up, but I wasn’t sure what you said, so I followed.”

            “Oh, I think I was just talking to myself, I forgot my purse” I said, holding it up as proof.

            He did that thing with his lips and nodded his head once, “right.”

            I lead the way downstairs and wave at Nick, my way of saying I was leaving.

            “Will you be back for dinner? Riley was expecting you to be,” Nick said nervously.

            “Yeah, Laura too probably”

            “What about him?” he said nodding toward Liam. I look at him standing there, slightly uncomfortable.

            “Its up to him, I’ll let my mom know if he wants…” Liam cut me off.

            “I would love to come, if its not too much” he said with a polite smile. Nick actually looked happy at the thought of him coming.

            “Great! See you guys later then.”

            I lead Liam out of the house, turning to him once the door was shut.

            “You don’t need to come if you don’t want to.”

            “I want to Charlotte, why don’t you understand that?” He opened my door for me.

            “Thanks,” I say getting in. I wait for him to get in too before continuing the conversation. “I don’t understand why you want to spend time with me. You said it yourself, you like to be alone.”

            “I do like to, but I really enjoy being with you. It makes me feel good, something I haven’t felt for a long time.” He said, puling out of my driveway. “Where are we meeting Laura?”

            “Walmart. But why me. There are so many better people out there.”

            “If you don’t want me to go to dinner I wont go. I just thought it would be nice. Sorry.”

            “I never said I didn’t want you there.”

            “You sure aren’t making it sound like you do either though.”

            “I just don’t want to get hurt” I say softly.  He looks over at me.

            “I don’t want to hurt you Charlotte. You don’t think that I am trying something new, but I am, and I might be the one who gets hurt.”

            I think about it and the rest of the car ride is pretty quite. Both of us lost in thought.

Liam

            I pull into the Walmart parking lot and Charlotte directs me where to park so we are near Laura. We all say hi and they walk into the store together with me trailing slightly behind. They each grab a basket and immediately start putting things in it. I wasn’t lying earlier when I said that she reminded me that I needed to go shopping, but my parents have particular tastes, and I usually get my dad a tie and box of cigars and my mom a pair of shoes. My grandma has more simple tastes, and I usually go with flowers, a new recipe to try, and then another gift, different each year. I already got my parents, and most of my grandma’s, but I am still looking for that last thing for her. We spend a little over half an hour at Walmart, check out, then head back to the cars.

            “Why don’t we all just ride together” Laura asked. 

I look at Charlotte and she says, “Doesn’t bother me any.”

            “I’ll drive,” I say, hoping that will give me an excuse to stay next to her. We all get in, and luckily she got in the front. They directed me where to go, and we park again.

            I find the perfect gift for my grandma two minutes after walking into a small store filled with knickknacks. Charlotte actually is the one who drew my attention to it by running her fingers lightly over it: a vase. It was about the size of my arm, blue with white swirled into it like marble, and it was perfect.

As I am paying for it, the man at the register tells me that his daughter made it, and that it was her first piece. We all give praise to her work, and he gave us all her business card. We walk out and get back in the car, Laura saying she had one more place to stop. We go to TJ Maxx and I watch as they look for clothing for Laura’s two sisters. I haven’t gone shopping like this since I was probably in middle school, but it was nice. Charlotte laughed with Laura and their friendship was so easy. They included me where they could, and I didn’t feel like a complete third wheel.

We were there for about ten minutes when I noticed that a guy kept looking over at them. He didn’t say anything or come close, but he was looking like he knew them. While Charlotte was looking at shoes, I asked Laura if she knew the guy, and that’s when I knew something was wrong. Her head whipped around so fast that her hair hit my face. Her features grew serious and she handed me her wallet. “Put this in your pocket and play along,” she said. Turning toward Charlotte he whole demeanor changed, with a smile on her face she said, “Oh my god, I forgot my wallet in the car!”

“Its alright, I can spot you, “Charlotte said.

“Nah, I don’t really think I am finding anything I like right now. Maybe we can go to Kohls instead?”

“If you want…” Charlotte replies and follows Laura towards the door. I watch as the guy follows too, but still at a distance. I am so confused right now. We get in the car and head over to Kohls, Laura keeps giving me looks from the backseat, kind of a, I will explain later look… I think.

We get out and within a few minutes Laura finds a complicated looking dress and tells Charlotte to go try it on. It has a lot of strings and buttons in the back, and Charlotte protests at first, but ends up going to the changing room anyway. As soon as she is out of hearing range Laura turns toward me.

“Do not tell Charlotte that you saw that guy or that you say any guy who looked like he was watching her. I am dead serious. Do you care for her?” She asks.

Unsure of the turn in the conversation, I reply, “Yeah, I do, but what does that have to do with anything?”

“I am not going to give details, that is for her to tell, but that guy screwed her up bad. He spent three and a half years in prison for what he did, and she has a restraining order against him. He isn’t allowed to come within 300 ft of her, and if he does he violates his parole and can be sent back to prison. He didn’t break the rules back there, but if she saw him” Laura is cut off my Charlotte standing in the doorway of the changing room.

“I don’t think this is my style” she says with a giggle. I look at her, its not terrible, but I agree, definitely not her.

“Yeah, I agree, lapse in my judgment!” Laura calls back with a forced sounding laugh. As soon as Charlotte turns around to change back into her clothes, Laura faces me again. “I knew that wasn’t her, but it looked like it would take forever to put on. Anyways, she has seen him three times since… he did what he did, and each time she has been sent into a panic attack and though she doesn’t think so, she gets into this depressed funk for about a week or two. Whenever she goes out, I come with her, and usually I can see him from a mile away, but he has never had a beard before, so I guess I didn’t recognize him at first.”

“Do you know what he did to her?”

“Yeah, and I’m sure you can guess most of it too, but never the whole thing. Only three people know the complete truth, and I am pretty sure I am the only one who knows how much it still affects her today.”

The conversation ended about there because Charlotte came out. We walked around, and as we were about to pay Laura goes, “damn I actually forgot my wallet” and gave her forehead a slap.

“I thought I was the forgetful one” Charlotte laughed.

“No, you asked me to hold it when you wanted to hold something up and I forgot I put it in my pocket” I said, pulling it out. Truthfully, I had forgotten that I had it.

“You are a life saver, thanks!” Laura said, taking it from me and paying for her stuff.

We drive back to her car and Charlotte helps her move her bags from her car. She is talking to her, but Charlotte doesn’t seem to like whatever Laura is saying because she keeps shaking her head back and forth. Suddenly Laura opens the passenger door, pops her head in and asks, “would you mind bringing her home? I have to make one more stop, to get her present and I don’t want her to see it.”

“Yeah of course. Are you going to dinner at her house still?” I ask, glancing at Charlotte who looks more annoyed than anything.

“I am, dinner is at seven and I’ll meet you guys there. Probably be about ten minutes behind you,” she said as she moved over and motioned for Charlotte to get into the car. “After you,” she laughed. Charlotte got into the car and we waited until Laura got into hers before pulling out and heading towards the interstate.

“If you don’t mind me asking,” I start, “but what was that all about out there?”

“Nothing” was all she said.

“Didn’t look like nothing to me, but I’ll respect your decision if you don’t want to tell me.”

She studies me for a few seconds, finally saying, “I’ll tell you tonight after dinner, if you want to stay, that is.”

“You know I want to stay.”

“Tonight it is then, “ she said turning to look out the window. The ride was quieter than the one there, only this time the music was playing quietly.