Find Me

Chapter 1

Charlotte

“Damn it” I shout as I throw the covers, leap off the bed, and my feet land on top of my discarded clothes from yesterday. I have been at college for three and a half year now, and I still can’t get up on time for a 9am, pathetic, I know.

Throwing on whatever clothes on my chair look clean, I run a brush through my hair and grab a granola bar heading out the door. Turning around I catch my door just before it locks. Going back in I put on some eyeliner and grab my bag and keys… cant forget my keys again.

I go through my messages as I walk out the building, I need to call my mom after class and Laura wants me to meet her for lunch today. I push the door open with my elbow and take a step outside. I say step because I literally took one step, found a patch of ice and ate it. I save my phone, but unfortunately my granola bar is now a bunch of crumbs in the snow underneath my hand.

“Uh, are you alright?” I hear a voice. Instantly I start begging, please don’t be cute, please don’t be cute, I look up and yep, of course he’s cute.

“I’m fine, just a patch of ice, only thing damaged is my breakfast.” Under my breath I mumble, “and my dignity.” I start to get up only to slip again. Breathing out in frustration, “This day sucks and I’ve only been awake for 15 minutes.”

“Here,” he says extending his hand and I hesitate before taking it. I grab it and he pulls me up and guides me over to the snow packed walkway, away from the ice.

“Thanks,” I say, wiping the little bit of snow that hadn’t already melted from my pants.

“Uh, you have some… um…” he motions to my hair and begins to reach for it. I quickly reach for my hair to find that a chunk of my granola bar made it up there. Wonderful. “Thanks…again.”

He gives me one of those awkward smiles, where both lips roll in, nods his head then walks towards the building. I do not have time to analyze what just happened. I need to get to class.

After class, the phone call to my mom was her telling me that Christmas was going to be with her boyfriend’s family, the one who thinks that I am weird for not wanting hugs and kisses from him like he is my father. He doesn’t understand my past, even my mom doesn’t know the full truth, but she tells him I just don’t like physical contact, and she’s not wrong there. I had completely forgotten about this morning’s humiliation until lunch with Laura when she asks how my day was going. I retell the events and instantly her olive skin gets a pink hue and I know she is trying not to burst out laughing.

“Go ahead, let it out” I say, rolling my eyes but smiling.

Laughing hysterically she says, “this would only happen to you!”

“Go figure” I mutter as I take a bite of my burger.

“Wait… but who was it?” she asks.

“I dunno” I said, shrugging my shoulders, still chewing my burger “but he was definitely hot, but you could tell he wasn’t a douchebag, ya know?” I finished, and swallowed my bite.

“Oh my god! You just said he was NOT a douchebag. You. Of all people. Queen of all men are terrible… you just said he wasn’t!”

“No, I said that he didn’t look like one, big difference. He could very well turn out to be one. Also, you know my reasoning for thinking that all men are pigs. So please don’t start this.” I sighed.

“Well he must live in the dorm, have you seen him before?”

“I don’t know!” I exclaimed, feeling overwhelmed with her questions about him and my own running through my head.

“Well maybe you should fall for him again,” Laura giggles. She is known for making terrible jokes that are not funny at all, but her laugh makes you laugh.

“Yeah I will get right on that, you know you haven’t asked if I was alright? I could be injured!”

“If you were, you would have started out with it. You are over dramatic” She grinned and looked at her phone. “I need to run, but are we still on for Thursday night?”

“Yes, my place, bring popcorn, the good stuff.”

“I wouldn’t dare bring anything else to your place, I would hate to not be invited back” she chimed, packing her stuff onto her tray. “Bye, I’ll text you!”

I put everything onto my tray, return it to the dish room, and walk to my next class.

Liam

Normally I go for a run at 7, but I slept in a bit this morning. Being off my routine usually would piss me off for the whole day, but for some reason I’m not. I will not say it is because of the girl this morning, if anything maybe her bad day made mine seem a little less so.

I had just eaten at the dining hall and was heading back to my room to shower when I watched her, absorbed in her phone, walk out the door and eat it. I thought about running to help her, but she was already down, so what good what that do?

“Uh, are you alright?” I asked, walking up to her.

“I’m fine, just a patch of ice, only thing damaged is my breakfast” she says, blowing out a hard breath. Ever so quietly I hear, “and my dignity” and I try not to laugh. She starts to get up but can’t. “This day sucks and I’ve only been awake for 15 minutes.”

She looks pretty good for only being up fifteen minutes, I think to myself. I thought girls were supposed to take forever getting ready; I don’t even look human after only fifteen minutes of being awake. “Here,” I say extending my hand. I see her hesitate before taking it, something about her posture, it was like she was on guard, but she ended up grabbing it and I pull her up. I decide to guide her over to where the walkway wasn’t slippery, so she wouldn’t fall again.

“Thanks” she said.

“Uh, you have some… um…” I point to her hair and attempt to take what looks like granola out of her hair but she takes a big step back and her arm moves to her head so fast. “Thanks…again” she murmured grabbing the food but not really making eye contact.

Weird, but whatever, I was just trying to be nice. I give her a half-ass smile and walk into the dorm building. I head up to my room on the second floor and immediately take a shower. Socializing isn't something I do much of, but I definitely think that her reaction was weird and that is coming from me, the peculiar guy who’s had nightmares about his brother for the past seven years and hasn’t made a friend since before then. I scrub my body harder than I need to and the washcloth seems to scratch at my skin. Taking a couple of deep breaths, like years of therapy had taught me, I watch as the soap circles around the drain.

“Why was she so standoffish?” I ask out loud, though I know there is no one there to answer me. I have a dozen questions actually… what is her name, does she live in this building, why haven’t I seen her before, what year is she in, is she okay? I shake my head, pushing her from my thoughts, and finish my shower. She didn't want to give me the time of day so why should I? I spend the rest of my morning doing homework and head to the dining hall at 12:45 for lunch.

Walking in I do a quick scan like I always do and try to pick out a place that is empty and least likely to have others join me when they cannot find a seat. Surprisingly, I see her again, and the only empty two-person table is two down from her so I make my way there. I put my stuff down and get in line, but keep an eye on her. Whatever she is saying is making her friend laugh; I can hear it from the line.

By the time I get my food and head back, her friend is gone and she is packing up her stuff. I think about going and saying hi, but I remember her reaction this morning, like I was scum and she couldn’t bear to have me touch her. So instead, I walk to my table and eat my lunch alone, as usual. Why break my routine again?

I eat my lunch and people watch. I have gotten very good at it. I can tell when people are or are not interested in the conversations they are having, who is going to break up this week, and who is going to start hanging out more. You can learn a lot by watching. I finish up and head to class. It is going to be a long afternoon, I can already tell.

Over the next two weeks I see her around campus, usually with the girl from the dining hall, sometimes with another girl, but never by herself. I went from never seeing her before to seeing her everywhere. For a week after meeting her I changed my running time from 7 to 8, in hopes of seeing her again in front of the dorm, but I haven’t… she must not live in this one, probably just sleeping over at some guy's room. I don’t know what I would say if I saw her, or if I would say anything, but for some reason I keep thinking about it.