Alpha's Rejection, A She-Wolf's Choice

Chapter 2: Looking back(Luca's Pov)

I stood in the faintly lit room, my eyes fixed on the wall as though gazing at something no one but I could see. However, my brain was somewhere else, specifically back to that fateful evening. The night Akira met her death..

It was a full moon, the woodland was buzzing with the hints of nighttime animals. We were on the lookout, Akira and I, strolling the woods' edge, our senses on high alert for any form of danger.

Our pack, the Blackwood Pack, had been undermined by an opponent pack, the Red Moon Pack, for quite a long time. We realised they were getting bolder, yet we never anticipated that they would come after us straightforwardly.

As we strolled, the trees appeared to surround us, their branches squeaking unfavourably in the breeze. I felt a feeling of disquiet, discomfort toward the rear of my neck. Akira saw it as well, her eyes scanning through the unclearness, her hand on the blade at her hip.

And afterwards, out of the blue, the assault came. Growling, snapping, and the fragrance of rival pack individuals circled around. I recollect Akira's snarl, her body tensed and prepared to guard our region. We battled next to each other, our developments strong and synchronised, similarly as we had prepared.

However, they outnumbered us, and soon we found ourselves encircled. I saw Akira bring down two wolves with quick and dangerous accuracy. However at that point, I saw him faintly - the Red Moon Pack's alpha, his eyes fixed on Akira with a wild force.

He was greater than any wolf I had at any point seen if I was not mistaken, his jaws strong and horrible. He rushed at Akira, his teeth exposed, and I realised I needed to move quickly. I sent off myself at him, my jaws snapping fiercely, however, he was excessive. He threw me to the side like a cloth doll, and I landed hard on the woodland floor.

As I attempted to return to my feet, I witnessed it. Saw the alpha's jaws lock around Akira's throat, saw her body go limp, and saw life flash in her eyes. I recollect her cry, the vibe of my heart breaking into a million pieces.

I was past the point of no return. I was unable to save her. The responsibility thought consumes me, a steady sign of my disappointment as a mate, and as a defender.

While I was lost in my thoughts, a voice behind me caught my attention. "Luca, you've been in that spot for quite a while. You may want to wake up."

I got to see my sibling, Marcus, standing in the entryway, his eyes loaded up with concern. I attempted to talk, however my voice was trapped in my throat.

Marcus approached me, his hand on my shoulder. "Luca, you can't continue to live in the past. Akira would maintain that you should continue, to find satisfaction once more."

I shook my head, the memories flooding my mind. "I can't, Marcus. I couldn't save her. I was unable to protect her."

Marcus' hand fixed on my shoulder. "You did all that you could be able to, Luca. It wasn't your fault. Meanwhile, presently, you have an opportunity to make it right. To safeguard our pack, to lead them to significance."

I took a look at him, uncertain of what to do. Yet, before I could ask, he proceeded. "Sheena, she's...different. She's your destined mate, Luca. The spirits have picked her for you, and it can't be an off-base prediction."

I hesitated, uncertain of what to accept. Be that as it may, Marcus' words inspired an emotional response inside me. Might it at any point be valid? Might Sheena at some point be the one to assist me with continuing, to find satisfaction once more?

Marcus recognized the uncertainty easily and gestures. "I know it's difficult to acknowledge, however you need to confide in the spirits, Luca. They understand what's best for our pack, and they've picked Sheena for you. Try not to dismiss her without giving her an opportunity."

I gestured gradually, my brain dashing with contemplations and questions. Be that as it may, where it counts, I realised Marcus was correct. I needed to allow Sheena an opportunity, for our pack, and my purpose.

"I realised you're not kidding," I said, at last, my voice scarcely over a murmur. "Yet, I can't make it happen. I can't take Sheena as my mate."

"Marcus' expression turns from encouraging to disheartened. 'Luca, you're prioritising your personal struggles over the pack's well-being.

Your guilt and frustration are affecting your ability to make sound judgments”.

I gave a nod, sensing a lump forming in my throat. I am aware, but I am unable to control it. I hurt Akira, and the thought of hurting another mate is unbearable.”

Marcus murmured and puts a hand on my shoulder. "Luca, you're not a disappointment. You did all that you could to protect Akira."And concerning Sheena, she's not Akira. She's solid and competent in her manner. Give her an opportunity, Luca. For the good of the pack, and your own."

I shook my head, feeling the heaviness of my distress and culpability overwhelming me. "I can't, Marcus. There is no way."

Marcus' eyes load up with a profound bitterness, and he gestures gradually. "I get it, Luca. However, know this: you're not simply dismissing Sheena, you're dismissing the opportunity for satisfaction and reclamation. Furthermore, I dread that one day, you'll understand that past the point of no return."

With that, he turned and left the room, abandoning me with my viewpoints and questions. I know he's right, however, I can't force myself to acknowledge Sheena as my mate. Not yet, at any rate. Perhaps never.

I stood there for quite a while, lost in my thoughts until I at long last understood that I wanted to leave. I wanted to clear my head and think of what Marcus said. I wanted to contemplate what's best for the pack, and myself.

I took a full breath and went to leave the room, however, as I did, I heard a voice behind me. "Luca, don't leave this. Try not to leave her."

I went outside, just to see Marcus still in the entryway, his eyes begging me. "Allow her an opportunity, Luca. If it's not too much trouble."

I gestured gradually, feeling a good omen. Perhaps, quite possibly, I can find satisfaction once more. Perhaps Sheena is the way into getting back myself.

"I'll attempt, Marcus," I said at last. "I'll attempt to give her an opportunity."

Marcus gestured a little grin all over. "That is all I can ask, Luca. That is all any of us can ask."

With that, he turned and left, leaving me with my thoughts. From the beginning, I felt a liberating sensation, a feeling that I had made a plan towards my getting back. In any case, as the minutes ticked by, my brain began to sneak back to the past, to the memories of Akira and the height of her misfortune.

Also, as I suspected, my questions began to sneak back in. Might I at any point trust another mate? Could I at any point trench myself out there once more? The response, I understand, is no. I can't make it happen. I can't acknowledge Sheena as my mate.

I felt an ache of responsibility, realising that I'd quite recently told Marcus I would attempt. Regardless, I am unable to resist. I have this constant belief that I am unprepared and will never feel prepared.

I attempted to dismiss the thoughts, but they remained like a specter, plaguing me.. I realised I had to confront Marcus once more and be honest with him.

I needed to confess that I had changed my mind and couldn't accept Sheena as my mate after all.

The thought terrifies me, but I recognised I had to be brave. I am unable to continue pretending to be someone I am not, or to fake experiencing emotions that are not genuine.

I have to be honest, even if it causes pain.

While I was lost in thought, a voice within me suddenly spoke out.

'Luca, you're being foolish. You're letting your past dictate your future. You're surrendering to your fear and allowing it to hold you back.

I acknowledged that it is my own voice, however, it is tinged with a touch of spite and a bit of ruthlessness. It is the voice expressing my uncertainties and anxieties, the voice constantly reminding me of my shortcomings and the belief that I will never measure up. It says “you will never discover happiness in the future”.

“You will never achieve salvation. You are unable to move forward, eternally held captive by your suffering and regret”.

I attempted to quiet the voice, to send it away, but it persisted, resonating in my head like a ghostly melody. I realised I had to confront it in order to progress.

Currently, it acts as a constant memory of my previous errors, my deficiencies, and my deepest worries.

I experienced a surge of anger and annoyance building up inside me, prompting me to forcefully hit my fist against the wall to try to silence the voice and its harsh remarks.

However, it appeared to be ridiculing me, with its mocking voice resonating in my thoughts.

"You'll never be free," it sneered. "You'll never be happy. You are trapped in an endless cycle of pain, a captive of your own design”.

A tear trickled down my cheek, providing comfort that I wasn't facing the challenge by myself.

Marcus, my sibling, old and buddy, is attempting to help me, attempting to direct me towards getting on my feet. Nevertheless, I am unsure if I can place my trust in him, or in anyone else for that matter.

Again, the voice taunted me, cutting through my thoughts with its piercing tone. It stated, 'Luca, you are foolish.' Believing you can change or evade your past makes you foolish.

I experienced a sudden boost of resolve, and I understood that I needed to show the voice was incorrect.

I must prove to it that I am more powerful than it believes and that I can conquer my fears and uncertainties. Currently, it is an ongoing challenge and a perpetual fight against the internal voice and the burden of my history.