Beyond Goodbye

Friends

The laughter had done Maya some good and she felt a little bit better. She spent the rest of the day hanging out with Mark in the woods. Running around barefoot helped her connect with nature, and sitting in the trees gave her a wider perspective on her life. She looked at everything from above and suddenly her problems felt small and manageable. She thought about Josephine and wondered if she could sit with her and talk about her boy-problems. She wouldn’t go into the details regarding Damon, but she wouldn’t feel bad about omitting things as Josephine wasn’t her best friend. It wouldn’t feel like she was betraying someone’s trust.

This gave her a little reassurance. Surely, Josephine would understand. She had a crush on a much older guy and hoped for years that she would be his mate, but unfortunately, that didn’t turn into a reality. Her dreams had been crushed in that little moment when he had spotted his mate and gone to her right in front of Josephine’s eyes. Her friend had taken the blow pretty badly, but Maya had had her own troubles to think about. Maybe if they both sat together, they could feel better.

Mark was in his own world; something was keeping him preoccupied but he didn’t say anything to Maya. Mark was such a gentle being, he would come tell her whatever was on his mind, but in his own time. Maya knew not to prod around when he was the silent Mark.

When it started to get dark, Maya’s stomach started rumbling and she realized she hadn’t eaten since morning.

“Hey Mark, I think its time to go home.”

Mark sighed as if he didn’t want to leave his perch up on the tree, but he jumped down reluctantly.

“I wish time would stop when we are in the woods.”

Mark said sadly.

“Well, if you want to spend the night in the woods, be my guest. But I'm going home. Are you hungry? Come to my place and we can have dinner together.”

Mark perked up at the thought of spending more time with his friend, and quickly agreed.

“Sure! I love your mother’s cooking.”

Maya’s mother was indeed a very good cook, and it was the sole reason that made Maya look forward to going home. And having Mark to share such a great meal with would make the day even better. Besides, Maya's mother loved Mark. Maya could see how he was everything that her mother wanted in a child. This didn’t make her jealous. It just made her heart swell with pride and love. Mark was the best person she had ever met. She would do everything to protect him.

The evening was cozy and full of laughter. Maya’s mother was delighted when she saw Mark and quickly cooked a few more mouth-watering dishes. They were famished and finished everything while talking and laughing at the kitchen table. Her mother even managed to laugh at one of Maya’s jokes and it made her heart flip happily. She knew it was just the ‘Mark-magic’ but she still loved the feeling and wanted it to happen more often.

She wished she could talk to her mother instead of Josephine about Damon. She had lost her mate, and would surely know more about boy troubles than anyone else. She was such a beautiful lady even now, and there were many men interested in her. Her mother never gave a second thought about any of them and Maya wondered why. She wished her mother would give someone else a chance. Mr. Wilson was a very nice man, and he seemed to be very interested in her. He had lost his wife and he didn’t have any kids. Maya was sure he would help her find life and purpose again. Maya had failed at giving her mother happiness. Maybe another man could do that.

Maya, very conveniently, was forgetting that it was not her job to provide happiness for her mother or a sense of purpose. She was an adult, and she needed to navigate through her own trauma and find healing. But no one could tell her that. And she blamed herself for her mother’s decision to leave her parents. If her mother had not been pregnant with her, surely she would have continued to stay with her parents and not go through all the hardships she did alone. She might have found another man. Her mother didn’t have the energy or time to date anymore, and Maya believed it was her who had depleted her.

Her mother would tell her how she had made her life difficult, and how she didn’t understand what she had gone through just to raise her up. This she said when she was in the weakest of her moments. But she forgot how it was impacting her little girl. Maya was slowly trying to disappear from everyone’s lives, as she felt like she was unwanted and a burden.

That’s why Jared had called her mousey once. She hid around like a mouse. Jared’s nickname for her meant more than that though. Maya failed to realize how much he mocked her appearance and personality. She was blinded by love.

Maya asked her mother if she could spend the rest of the evening with Josephine. Thankfully, her mother had important things to do and agreed to drop her off at her friend’s house.

Josephine was delighted to have her, and it looked like she could use some company. They both sat together in silence, thinking about their time together, when they were happy and carefree.

“I don’t know what to feel, Maya. I was so convinced he would be my mate, I liked him so much. I had just let my imagination get the better of me.”

“Josey..I believed that too. We got so carried away with our daydreaming, just like I am convinced I will be rejected by mine.”

“Now what? I don’t like any other guy in school. Who will my mate be? What if it's someone ugly?”

Maya laughed.

“What if it's Peter?”

“Ewwwww!! Nooooo!”

The girls squealed in laughter as they talked about all the guys in their class and guessed who their mates would be. They reminisced about the past, and laughed about all the times they swooned over their crushes. Maya told her friend about Damon. She didn’t go into the details of their encounter, but told her how he made her feel. Josephine thought he was a cool guy and it was interesting how Maya was feeling. She told her to not run away from her feelings and try to understand what everything meant.

“Maybe fate is trying to tell you something.”

“Josey..its nothing like that. He is just that mysterious, bad guy that I am curious about, and maybe a little attracted to.”

“Whatever it is, give it time and don’t run away from it, just like all the other things you hide from.”

Maya felt a little bit better. She couldn’t hide from her heart or her thoughts, so it was better to accept them and become curious about them. When her mother came to pick her up, Maya felt a little light hearted. She just had to let the wind take her wherever it wanted to and maybe she would find something for herself there. But today showed her how precious her friends were, and how both could just be there to make her day so much better. She felt loved and safe as she thought about Mark and Josephine.