Beyond Goodbye

Damon

Maya exited the car and shivered when a cold blast of air hit her bare shoulders. She had forgotten her coat inside but she didn’t care. Maybe a little bit of a chill would do her head good. She was still jelly-legged from what had conspired in her mind.

She looked around. It was a cold rainy night but the gas station was lit and there was a comforting sound of laughter coming from the little diner just besides it. Maya and her mother lived in a pretty little town nestled protectively in the side of the mountains. The weather was great and there were beautiful pine trees everywhere. She loved waking up early in the morning and looking at the clouds that would pass through the sleepy town. The sun was brighter here. That’s what her mother told her. Maya had never been outside it, so she didn’t have any other place to compare it with. But her mother had come from a city, leaving her old life behind. She had told how her father had died when she had been pregnant with Maya, and it had left her heartbroken. Thus, she had decided to leave town as she could no longer face the truth. Her parents had been very unsupportive and had not wanted her to keep Maya. They wanted her to get rid of her before she was born so she wouldn’t have to raise a child without a father. Her mother told her how her eyes were just like her dad’s and she was glad to have fought for her and kept her.

Maya wished her mother would be more understanding and not suffocate her into being what she wasn’t. She just wanted her to accept her for who she was and be proud of her. Maybe then it wouldn’t be so difficult for Maya to be her true self and not hide under fake masks to be more desirable. Maybe then it would be easier to just be happy and smile. All Maya ever wanted was to live in the moment, love her life, and the woods she so often retreated to. She wanted to return to a loving home with a happy mom at the door. Maya knew her mother loved her fiercely, but there was an odd protectiveness and worry that was doing damage and getting in the way of their relationship. Maya couldn’t point it out, but there was something her mother was hiding from her.

She walked to the store slowly, quite aware of how it would be irritating her impatient mother right now. She never knew how to enjoy the moment. Maya, however, was enjoying this very short walk in the rain and she was determined to make the most of it. She was smiling to herself when another man reached the entrance before her. He stepped back and opened the door to let her in first. She looked at him to thank him and recognized Damon from her school.

Damon was a senior, maybe eighteen? She couldn’t recall, but she was very intimidated by him. There was something mysterious about the guy. He had dark grey stormy eyes and was lean and tall. His hair was wavy and black and would sometimes hang on his forehead messily, covering half of his eyes. He was very handsome, the complete opposite of Jared. Jared was like sunshine, outshining everyone and blinding those who looked directly at him. Damon, however, was like moonlight, he let others shine and always preferred being in the background. This was not Maya’s observation though. She didn’t know much about Damon, just that he intimidated her and she sometimes found him scary. She had never spoken to him before, and liked it that way.

Mark, on the other hand, liked the guy. He was determined to make stark comparisons between Jared and Damon, almost trying to force Maya to like him better than her crush. She didn’t understand her friend’s obsession.

“Maya! Look at Jared. All he wants is attention. He can’t bear to see someone else get the spotlight. Damon is not scary at all. He is almost kind, if he acted a little friendly though.”

Maya was not convinced. Damon hardly had any friends. If he was so nice as Mark said he was, why didn’t he have any?

Right now, though, she looked into his eyes. They were beautiful. She had never seen such deep and intelligent eyes before. It had her dazed but she composed herself and uttered a quick thank you.

“No problem.”

That deep baritone voice made Maya’s heart jump. She looked at him again and saw his full smile. She had never seen a more genuine smile than his, and she noted with regret how Jared’s smile never reached his eyes when he looked at her.

She offered him a little smile and slid inside, looking around for the things her mother wanted and slipped a few snacks for herself too. She planned on being awake late past midnight to read her new book. It was her favorite night, with the pitter patter of steady rain and the drops on her bedroom window reflecting the street lights outside, that would keep her company. She almost jumped in excitement in the middle of the store. She didn’t notice two men pointing towards her and inching quietly near.

“Hey beautiful, what are you doing here dolled up like this? You want company tonight?”

One of them whispered into her ear, making her jump. She shook her head, panicked. They must have mistaken her for someone else, she was still in her party dress and all the makeup.

“No, sorry, but I’m not who you are looking for.”

“Oh yes, you are exactly what we are looking for.”

The way they referred to her as a ‘what’ scared her. One of them inched closer and the other looked around quickly.

“Come on, let’s go somewhere more private so we can have a nice little chat.”

She was about to scream when a very angry voice had them all whipping around. Damon was standing in the aisle and he looked fierce. His eyes were dark and there was not a trace of that sweet smile on his face.

“Leave her alone, she is not who you are trying to look for.”

He walked towards them menacingly, and Maya noticed how tall he was compared to the other men. Both of the intruders shrunk in fear.

“We are sorry, we were mistaken. Didn’t know the damsel was taken.”

This made Damon even angrier.

“Why are you apologizing to me? Isn’t the lady the one who should receive it? And if she wasn’t taken, would it make it alright for you to do what you were doing?”

Oh, Damon hadn’t bothered to correct the men who mistook them for being a couple. Maya felt giddy inside even though she knew it was just an act. Damon didn’t find it worth it right now to explain to two strangers how they weren’t related one bit. Oh, how silly she could be. Silly? Or desperate…a small voice in the back of her head asked her. She hated it when that voice came up. She didn’t know when that secret streak of insecurity would creep up on her. She never told Mark about this either. He was her dearest and closest friend, but she kept this dark part about herself a secret. She was ashamed of it.

The men scrambled to say sorry to her, and it was clear from their expressions that they had never apologized to a woman before. It irked them and she could clearly see it in their eyes how much they hated her. It scared her, made her feel vulnerable and sad. When they left, Damon stuck to her side, not leaving her. But Maya could sense he wanted to say something.

“What?”

Damon was startled by how easily Maya read him and knew he wanted to say something.

“Why the hell were you here alone dressed up like that?”

He sounded angry; Maya, though, felt indignant.

“Excuse me? Who are you to tell me what to wear or not to wear? Thank you for helping me out there like that, but it's none of your business how I dress up. It’s not my fault they did what they did.”

“Nnno…I didn’t mean it like that. It clearly wasn’t your fault. It never could be.”

Damon looked like he regretted anger taking over him. But he had been livid. He was a very kind boy, raised up to respect every living thing, and he respected women above all. He had seen red when he saw how Maya had looked when the guys were surrounding her. She looked so small and helpless and it had made him mad.

It had reminded him of Gloria, two years ago.

“I’m sorry Maya, I didn’t mean it that way. I was worried and it came out wrong.”

Maya regretted her outburst, but she had been shaken by the encounter. She quickly told him not to worry, she had overreacted.

“No you didn’t overreact. Anyone would be angry if they were victim blamed.”

Damon sounded very forlorn and sad. As if the weight of the world was put on his shoulders.

“Come on, let's safely take you back to where you came from.” He gave her a small smile.

She followed him to her car where her mother was waiting for her.

“Bye Damon.” She waved at him through her window and looked on as he stood there watching her car turn the corner and out of sight.

She reminded herself how his smile had not reached his eyes this time. There was a sad tug at her heart. She didn’t understand it, but it just made her want to curl up in bed and stare at the rain.