Beyond Goodbye

Protect

Mark was clearly avoiding her. Maya felt pain in her heart. This was the first time her friend was so upset he didn’t want to talk to her. She had left him a few messages, letting him know she was there for him and would talk to him anytime he wanted. But he had not replied to her.

Jared had also not come to sit by her the way she had hoped. But Jared was being careful, he liked how Mark was staying away, but he didn’t want Mark to come back into the picture. Jared was sure he would come running back the moment he saw him with Maya. He was texting Maya though. He didn’t want her to think he had forgotten her.

“Cant wait for the weekend. My first book reading date!”

Maya blushed at the word “date” as she looked at her phone. She smiled and sent a quick reply.

“Me too. I cant believe I finally have a friend who would read books with me!”

Jared sent a kiss smiley and then typed a message to make it look like it was an accident.

“Oh sorry about that!! I meant to send an excited smiley. That one was meant for my mother.”

“Its okay Jared, I know it was by accident. Don’t worry.”

“I hope it doesn’t make things awkward.”

“Come on! It was just an emoji. Not a big deal. Don’t worry!”

Maya nearly had a heart attack when she saw the emoji. And now she was trying to act as if it didn’t mean anything. But the way he had become so awkward about his blunder was so cute. And he sent kiss smileys to his mother? How adorable was that!

Maya really wanted to see Jared now. That sweet face and those gentle eyes. She was falling even more for him, and she hadn’t known that was possible. It excited and scared her at the same time.

Jared made Maya forget about Mark for a moment. He made her feel happy and wanted and she liked that. But she still left a message for Mark, asking him about his day and how he was. She didn’t expect a reply.

It was Friday, and she was very anxious for the day to be over. She spent it texting Jared and talking to him, smiling at her phone like a fool. She couldn’t see him anywhere but she was happy he had asked for her number. She couldn’t imagine how she could spend the day alone, without Mark. It would be pure torture.

She was sitting alone, when Damon came on his usual haughty walk. Maya felt it was haughty because he had poked fun at her the other day.

“Oh hi..”

“You don’t seem happy to see me.”

Damon smiled at her. He looked amused again. It made her indignant again.

“Why do you treat me like a clown? Am I that funny to look at?”

Damon was taken aback at her outburst.

“What? No..I would never. Do I look like I'm making fun of you?”

Damon was confused, and Maya felt guilty for snapping at him like that.

“Oh I'm sorry..Im just having a bad day.”

“Didn’t look like that from the way you were smiling at your phone.”

Maya snapped her head up again.

“See…this is what I'm talking about. You never fail to make fun of me.”

“Hey! I'm sorry, but I never intended to make fun of you. I thought you were having fun and dropped by to talk to you. From afar you looked like you were quite happy.”

Maya didn’t know how to reply to him. Why did she always feel like he was making fun of her then?

“I just wanted to take your number if you didn’t mind, and could you give me Mark’s too?”

“Why would you want Mark’s number?”

“Uhh shouldn’t you be asking about why I wanted yours?”

Damon chuckled. She blushed again. He was right, but she didn’t reply as she saw Jared exit the hallway. He was headed home and she wanted them to start reading tonight. She hastily gave both numbers to Damon and said a quick goodbye.

She picked up her bag when the last bell rang and literally ran out the door. The day looked nice, clouds were gathering and it would be perfect for her book reading session tonight if it started raining. She started walking home, it felt good to be alone for a change. She always walked home with Mark, and their recollections of the day were usually talked about differently. Now it was only her and her thoughts, and she could reflect on everything today in her own way. There was no one to tell her if she was looking at something in the wrong light. Or as Mark would say, put some sense into her brain.

She thought about Jared all the way, occasionally smiling at his awkward and cute messages, and his attempts at being funny. He didn’t need to be funny, he was already such fun to be around with. How can someone like Jared be insecure about himself? It all comes down to the company one keeps. Mark never made her insecure. That was her mother’s job, and her friend made sure to reduce the damage as much as possible. If it wasn’t for Mark, Maya would be a girl drowning in insecurities every day of her life.

That’s how important Mark was to her. He kept her afloat. Her heart sank. There was something going on with Mark, and she always had this lingering feeling that she would never be able to make him as happy as he made her.

If Mark asked her for something, she was afraid she would be unable to give it to him. She would gladly lay down her life for him, but she had a feeling in her heart that whatever Mark wanted, she didn’t have it for him. Maya knew whatever she had she would gladly gift it to him, but she couldn’t explain this feeling. What would Mark want from her that she couldn’t give?

Her mood changed. She felt a heavy burden on her heart that she couldn’t explain. She felt like crying and she missed Mark dearly. Maya couldn’t be happy for long without a heavy burden falling on her the next moment. She was swooning over Jared, happy about talking to him for the first time without embarrassing herself, and now she wanted to cry for Mark.

Maya hugged herself, pulled out her phone and typed,

“I miss you…”

Her phone dinged and she saw Mark reply,

“I miss you too…”

Tears fell from her eyes as she pictured the adored face and that kind smile. She loved him so much it caused her pain. She hoped no one would hurt that pure soul. She wished she could protect him from anything that could harm him. Little did she know the person he needed to be protected from was her.