Chapter 2-4
1004 Words
Gran really did herself up well that evening. She had a long black evening dress; low at the shoulders, to me it spoke of restrained elegance. With the use of discreet jewellery, she looked fantastic. Mark and I looked positively underdressed by comparison.
Gran drove us into Leeds. I wasn’t all that comfortable about getting into a moving vehicle with her behind the wheel. I was sure her eyesight wasn’t what it used to be, and she was no stranger to the accelerator pedal either.
Two rather shaken young men and a totally unperturbed senior citizen emerged from the nearby multi-storey car park.
“Gentlemen, are we set to party?” Gran asked.
I nodded, but my insides were in knots. I hadn’t exactly enjoyed myself the last time I’d visited a nightclub. However, with Mark at my side, I imagined things would be a good deal easier.
It soon became apparent things weren’t easier. The music, which Gran loved, was too loud for me. Men didn’t approach me, for which I was grateful, but some showed more than a passing interest in Mark. I couldn’t really blame them. But when they just came up to him and began to grind against him, that was when I really became upset. Mark told each one to leave him alone, but it wasn’t long before another would come along. The difference in how he and I were treated began to make me feel more and more inadequate. I saw how good looking many of the men were, and catching a glimpse of my reflection in a mirror, I realised Mark could do much better than me.
“You okay?” Mark shouted in my ear.
I nodded, determined not to spoil Mark’s night out. I even managed to find a smile from somewhere. “You enjoying it?”
Mark shrugged. “It’s a bit packed in here.”
I nodded in agreement, the place was pretty full.
We had another drink and I forced myself to take a turn on the dance floor, but I was getting a headache and was finding it harder and harder to hide my discomfort.
Gran was also on the dance-floor, showing a group of young men some moves to the song that was currently playing. Mark must have left me, because I saw him approach her, bend, and say something in her ear. She looked in my direction, nodded at Mark, then approached me.
Taking my arm, Gran said, “You’re not enjoying yourself.”
I denied it, but Gran was having none of it as she led me to the nearest exit.
Once out on the street, I said, “You and Gran go back in. I’ll have a cup of coffee over there.” I pointed to a café on the other side of the road. “It isn’t fair that I spoil your night out, god knows we don’t get many of them.”
Mark shook his head. “You weren’t enjoying yourself, and I wasn’t all that happy about being felt up.”
Despite what Mark said, I felt dreadful for being a wet blanket and spoiling his evening. “I don’t deserve someone as understanding as you. I’ve told you before I’m such a stick-in-the-mud. You’re probably better off finding someone else…”
“Stop it, and stop it right now!” Mark was angry, I’d never seen him so worked up. “I love you. I love you for what you are, not for the kind of nightlife you like. I’ve told you before, you are absolutely the best thing that has ever happened to me.” Softening his tone, and kissing me briefly on the lips, he said, “Got that?”
Mark opened his arms and I fell into them.
“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, too,” I said quietly into his neck.
Gran put a hand on each of our shoulders. “I’ve watched you two pretty closely while you’ve been staying with me. Simon, I know things haven’t been easy for you. And I bet you’ve had a few painful times, too, Mark. I’ve been around a long time, and I’ve seen a lot. You two need each other.” Buttoning her coat, she said, “And now I’ve said my piece, I’ll shut up.”
We both gave Gran a big hug.
The ride back to Gran’s was quiet. I sat in the back seat with Mark, my head on his shoulder. Even Gran seemed to sense the mood and drove quite sedately.
When we got into bed, Mark spooned me and put his strong arms around me.
Some time later, Mark whispered, “Can’t sleep?”
“No, angel.”
He kissed the back of my neck. “Feeling any better about tonight?”
I sniffed. “Not much. I heard what you said outside the club, but…” I sniffed again, “Any one of those good-looking men tonight would have…Sorry. I know I’m being stupid.”
“How many nights have you comforted me? How many evenings have you sat and listened to me pour out my troubles? What I’m saying is, I’m here for you this time. I love you, and only you. I’ve needed to lean on you so much in the past, but you know, you can lean on me, too.”
I turned round, and despite the almost total darkness, immediately found Mark’s lips. “I hated it in that place. I’m used to not attracting anyone’s attention…but it got too much when everyone seemed interested in you. It brought home to me how different we are, and how much better you could do for yourself.” I put a finger on Mark’s lips. “I know I’m being silly, I know you love me…and I love you. But when you’ve spent a lifetime being regarded as a lesser person because of how you look, you eventually begin to believe that you are a lesser person.”
“Simon.”
Shaking my head, I said, “I know. I try to fight my feelings of inadequacy as much as I can, and believe me, having you in my life has helped more than you’ll ever know. But there are times when it gets too much.”
“And those times are when you come to me.” Mark kissed me and pulled me closer to him. “I don’t know why you chose to go to such a place if they make you feel so uncomfortable.”
“I didn’t.” I told Mark about what I’d had in mind.
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Because Gran was looking forward to going to a nightclub, and I thought maybe it’d be all right this time because I’d be with you.”
Mark sighed. “I wish you’d have said something.”
“Me, too.”
“Come here.” Mark began a series of slow kisses that soon had me forgetting all about the nightclub, its patrons, heck, before he’d finished I was having difficulties remembering my own name.
- Writer
