BACKSTORY part2
447 Words
After they left, I realized I was truly alone and absolutely nobody to play with or do anything with for that matter. I grew accustomed to being isolated, to being alone. Please, excuse my social awkwardness, I never learned how to fit in. I was never seen by anyone if I was just trying to be normal. I was only seen when I was being extreme, weird, abnormal, or when I was shoved in a spot light and thrown on someone's stage as if I were a circus clown.
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Dance. Sing. Read. Play. Perform. Perform. Perform.
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It was really strange but I figured that's what life is. I was a kid, I didn't know any better. I mean how could I? I was isolated for years. It was just me and my Gma in that little blue house at the bottom. Drinking hot tea, watching her stories and my cartoons, eating noodles or whatever Gma had at the time while everyone else were off doing God knows what. It was me and Gma most of my childhood.
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Everybody else will deny these things happened. Im tired of running from the truth tho. I played my roles in the situation. I was not innocent. I stopped trying to be included. I grew tired of being reminded of how annoying I was, how unwanted I was, how Jesus would come back before I graduated.... who wants to hear thar everyday or their lives but I digress. Instead of standing up for myself, I went inside of a shell leaving only anger to protect me, a hard rough exterior. Quick word jabs, attitude, rage, violence, you name it unless I was alone or with my Gma. She'd sit me down and teach me how to do puzzles. She had the patience I now aspire to have. She's let me play in her hair so I could learn to braid. She took the time out that no one else had for me. They were simply too busy. I came too late in life and they had bigger fish to fry.
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Overtime, Gma grew more ill and unstable. She moved in with us. I think I was in middle school at the time maybe high school but it had to be in life 9th grade if so. She could no longer take care of herself. The life we built on Robbins Circle abruptly came to an end. She moved in with us on Hilltop for a while. That's a whole segment in itself. I promise we'll go into it but not today. Today we see how, when, and why I started drinking and smoking and with who.
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- Writer
