high school part 2
394 Words
When I tell yall she fired me up in that locker room. Bro, you'd think I would have stopped my s**t. Nope. Just made me wanna get better at hiding what I do. Over time I did. Over time I became good at hiding what I did, when, with who, and where. Overtime it got boring and stopped caring. After I stopped giving a f**k, it was up.
This was not one of those times. I real life just dropped the thun thun thun, f****d up. I became my own stool pigeon. I didnt drop the windows. I left the spray. I lost track of time. I decided to go there. I made alot of ill decisions resulting in a ill conclusion.
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Mama got hit with a cloud of smoke when she got to her car. My cigarettes were in my side bag. I couldn't take it into the school for obvious reasons so I'd leave it in the car during the day, find a reason to go to my car at some point during last period, then put that bag inside of my big book bag along with my person hygiene bag so nothing looked suspicious off first glance.
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I told you. I had the trust of the adults. I wasnt worried about anything else. I was doing this s**t here while everybody was doing their own things. Keep my head down when I need to, ask the right people the right questions, end up in the right places, boom, bang, bow. Just like that.
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My system was full proof until it wasnt. When God got tired of me doing whatever I was doing, regardless of who knew, he shone a light on my darkness. Sometimes it was publicly, other times it was private, at all times it was humbling and embarrassing.
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My daddy always said when you get tired of doing something you'll stop. Im tired of being my own source of embarrassment. Im tired of being my own birthday clown. So I suppose that's why im here today. Im here to live in my truth, accept my actions, remember and learn from it so I won't do it again. Instead of simply accepting the consequences, I am here to learn and do something different. What's the definition of repeating the same thing and expecting a different result?
- Writer
