Sweet Revenge

Prove Them Wrong

"God, I'm a f*ck*ng fool! What's wrong with me?"

It's been a month since I caught Jonathan and Audrey together, a month since I begged to save my relationship. What was I doing? I was hiding. Not because I want to but because I know everyone is talking Jonathan's latest gist.

The wedding obviously didn't work out and Jonathan proposed to Audrey on that day. I saw the pictures online when blogs tagged me. I got so many calls and messages from Jordan but obviously it was clear enough to see that the wedding’s off and since it's already in public and I had also caught him in the act with her, he had made it known why he walked. Now you know why I refuse to show my face to the world.

So other than studying which I often opt for online lectures, I don't leave this apartment.

Everyone knows, and everyone is talking about me like I'm like a nun. If I hadn't done the deed with Jonathan, they might as well be right. I sigh inwardly. So much for waiting for your husband to do the deed.

"Do something!" Mariah shouts at me. She walked in from her latest fling and saw me still seated in the same spot she had left me earlier.

"Like what?" Nothing I do will bring Jonathan back. He's already with her.

"Prove the backstabbing bitches wrong. I hate how much he hurt you Bow, but you’re hurting yourself more by not getting back at him. Get people talking about you and how much you do. Write a s*x list."

I burst into a fit of laughter as she mentioned ‘s*x list’. Wait, what. I look at her and see she's not laughing with me, so I asked toning down my laughter.

"What the hell is a s*x list Mariah?"

Rolling her eyes at me, she laughs. "It’s sort of a bucket list, you know, a list of things you need to do or try but this would revolve mostly around s*x. Things like visiting a s*x shop, hooking up with someone random, and opening a s*x dating site or something. There are tons of things to do. Prove you're not what he says. And have fun while doing it." She turns and rushes out, claiming to be late for her next class.

I thought about what she said. I mean, I could have fun, and right now, I have nothing to lose especially not when everyone says I'm a nun. I grab a pen and notebook and sit. My eyes look over the blank paper.

My mind comes up blank but as I sit and consider. The list came.

Rainbow’s S*x List

1. Kiss a random guy [ ]

2. Visit a s*x shop [ ]

3. Pretend to be a stripper for a day or night [ ]

4. Use a s*x toy [ ]

5. Do a boudoir [ ]

6. Kiss a woman [ ]

7. Do a s*xy photoshoot [ ]

8. Visit a strippers club [ ]

9. Buy a s*xy lingerie [ ]

10. Have a threesome [ ]

I keep on writing, and by the time I'm finished, the list is two and a half pages long. Looking through it, I can’t believe that I have a lot of things I had always wanted to do. I guess the best time to get started is right now.

Spotting number fifteen, I reach out for my laptop. My mother would literally put me on the road to a covent if she saw what I was about to do.

Powering it on, I shook my thoughts from what she would have done and I loaded up a free p*rn site. This seems like a good starting place. I relax my back as I look at the screen.

Scrolling through, I stop at a video. It looked like a good place to start. A minute later, I closed it down. It was okay but a bit too much. I was taking it slow, not rushing into the whole redefining my sexuality like I had a deadline.

A new video popped up just as I was about closing my laptop. Trying my luck again for the second time, I clicked on it. I'm amazed. I know that they are paid to put up a show for viewers but the lady in the video looks like she's enjoying herself like a hell of enjoyment. So why don't I feel pleasure like that?

I lose myself in the video as I watched it till the end. Soon after I find myself watching more, and the more I watch, the more I wonder if something is wrong with my pleasure spot or if these actresses are just good at their job. Even some of the videos I went through makes me feel like a prude.

I call it a success as I hear Tianah come back from work and minutes later Mariah yells “I’m home.” I go to enjoy my time with my best friends before calling it a night but I skip the mention of my 'list.'