Five years ago
WANTING THINGS IS JUST A PRETTIER WORD FOR DISAPPOINTMENT- Life.
“Please let it be 4am...please.” I whispered in the dim room. My eyes drifted to the open window in front of me. The sun wasn’t out yet, the breeze was cold and the environment serene, perfect for my morning routine except this is special for me.
I was going to make my first confession to someone I have loved for a very long time, Nikolai. Today was his coronation as Alpha and he’ll be announcing me officially. I wanted everyone to know that love with werewolves is blissful too.
I can still remember the first day I saw him. He was dressed in prim and proper clothes, his tailored suit styled to perfection, his midnight black hair slicked back just a few strands brushing his forehead and his scowl. He looked serious but what surprised me the most was the cold indifference in his gaze. It was lifeless and held no emotion.
I will never forget the reaction he made when he saw me. His gunmetal grey eyes widened a bit as his gaze swept down my features.
Of course he’d be surprised. I had mastered his type and preferences throughout my stay in the pack. I had myself in a sundress and that caught his attention and I was a natural blonde so that too was a win for me.
My mother was a pack doctor after all and Nikolai was always fond of ‘accidentally’ hurting himself and I drowned in the sick fantasy that he was coming just to see me.
“Why are you up at 4am?” Elliot, my brother asked, his brows drawn together.
“Why are YOU up at 4am?” I countered back, my eyes darting everywhere but at him.
“Today is Nikolai’s coronation. You want to look good for him, don’t you?” He pointed out then shut his classic novel and smirked. “You want to make yourself known.”
Elliot knew too much. And it’s worse since we share a room.
I sighed giving a nod. “I love him too much, El. I just want the whole world to know. I want to officially confess in front of him and everyone present at the coronation.”
My gaze went dreamy as I imagined standing next to him, holding his hand and confessing my love to someone I have always loved despite his flaws and who he is.
I imagined him pulling me into me and giving in to the kiss I have always craved. I made a mental note to scrub my tongue harder and have some mint before going.
“What about the mate bond? Are you his mate?”
My thoughts and imaginations paused. I turned to Elliot, my brows furrowed this time. “What mate? What's a mate bond?”
“You know, like when a werewolf feels some kind of attraction towards another person that’s so strong to comprehend but often leads to making babies and spending each other’s lives together...yeah that’s a mate bond.”
“But...could he feel that with me? A human?” My throat tightened and my mouth went dry. This must be some kind of misunderstanding. “Nikolai loves me. He said so many times.”
“Has he...kissed you? Made any move to actually claim you?”
“No...I mean we’re waiting for the right time. Surely, he has made a move but...” I then realised that the kiss was the one barrier stopping us. We have been together for six years without a kiss.
“Maybe he’s just using you for a pastime but since you said so, you better go first.” Elliot waved his hand off and turned to his right side to sleep.
I took deep breaths trying to calm my thoughts and myself from hurting Elliot in his sleep. I held my wavy long blonde hair and packed it into a dot. I looked into my green eyes and chanted ‘Nikolai will choose me’ until it settled deep into my subconscious.
I did my routines and got ready. This dress costs me a lot and I haven’t finished paying yet. I don’t have a job, just a weekly allowance from my mother and this week has been rough on her. If Nikolai accepts me and he will, I’ll make sure she doesn’t have to work so hard anymore. Eliot can go to school without being disturbed but respected that he’ll be connected to the Alpha.
By the time I arrived, people had already gathered, human and werewolves and other fantasy creatures too. It’s not that there wasn't a power imbalance but humans have mastered the ways of defeating werewolves since their tools are sharpened by us and we make silver bullets and anything silver. Other than that, there was nothing holding them together.
“You look beautiful my dear.” An elderly woman complimented. I smiled sweetly at her. I was proud of what I had done.
“Aren’t you nervous about today?”
“Not really. Nikolai will be crowned Alpha of the Obsidian Moon pack. The decision is quite fair.”
“Sure. She’ll vote for him after all, she’s Nikolai’s whore.” Someone in the crowd muttered but much to my hearing.
“No. I’m not his w***e. Nikolai loves me and I love him.” I frowned, my teeth clenching as I looked boldly into the eyes of every human gathered here.
“Oh dear...Werewolves are selfish, greedy even and swayed by a feeling. Find yourself a human boy and stop this childish tantrum. You’re too young to waste your youth on someone who would age and still look the same.” The elderly woman chuckled lightly.
I will show them. Nikolai is different and he will choose me.
The coronation ceremony started and I couldn’t take my eyes off Nikolai for a second. He looks so breathtaking and my heart flutters, heat rising to my cheeks at how long I have been staring. I wondered if he noticed my stares.
“I would like to make a public announcement.” Nikolai started. The whole crowd went silent and even a pin drop was heard. Is this how commanding an Alpha can be? And his voice wasn’t even that loud.
“I have found my mate. After waiting for decades for her, I want to make us official and public. My mate...Maya Lane.”
I was his mate and he kept it from me? I felt giddy already. I started moving forward towards him but his eyes didn’t meet mine and his name wasn’t saying my name.
A lady walked past me knocking me down. She was exotic and the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She walked up to him, standing beside him and living the dreams I imagined.
Our eyes met mine for a brief second then he turned away like I was some stranger. I heard some snickers behind me but maybe this was all a sham...maybe it was for some political reasons like Elliot used to write about. I still trust him.
I waited for him to finally be alone before I approached him.
“Heyy.” I couldn’t force a smile. I grabbed the orange juice avoiding the whiskey before him and downed it. “Did I hear wrong or...”
“You didn’t.” His cold voice replied.
“If this is for some political get together stuff, arranged contracts and shit...you could have told me. I would figure things out.”
“This is not some political s**t. This is reality and what you’re seeing is what’s happening.” He pinched the bridge of his nose like he was stressed. “I love Maya. She’s my fated mate. I felt sparks and I just know she’s mine. What we had was good while it lasted but the truth is that she’s destined to be mine and I can’t let her go for anyone...not even you. You are a child for f**k’s sake.”
No. I’m eighteen and legal enough to confess my feelings. Maybe I’m being too much? I held my hand over my stomach rubbing it slowly. This can’t be happening to me. Today was supposed to be the best day of my life.
The day I opened up to him, the day I told him about us.
I felt my throat clogging up, my eyes became watery and my lips trembled. I can’t believe this is happening to me. I tried holding back the tears but more poured out.
“You’ll regret this.” And that was a promise.