For You

The Dinner Table

I never acknowledged that there will be a day where I will I feel less like myself and more like someone new.

I was so busy exploring my new relation with Dave that I forgot he's still connected to someone . I forgot about Abby. It hurts my mind every time I think about it . It feels like now can't bear seeing them together. My head was imagining so many consequences. Will it be good ? Will it be bad ? I don't know.

Before mom and dad reaches home I ask him to leave. But this time it was hard for me to say it. This time I wanted him to stay and not just today , but forever. We were on my bed lying down together when my mind starts contemplating about all this . His hands tangled with mine and I speak all a sudden , " I think you should leave."

"Why? Tired of me already."

He made it sound as a joke. But, somehow it ended up bruising my soul. I get up immediately pulling my hand out of his clasp.

" You need to leave! "

"Is everything okay?"

I don't say anything as I proceed to get out of my bed . Out of blue I was experiencing suffocation . I was feeling nervous . I couldn't breathe . This burning affect hadn't happened to me for a long time. Dave seemed concerned as he watched me carefully . He reaches to face me keeping both of his hands on my shoulder gently.

"Ellie , you okay?"

I step back, choking vast amount of air constantly, shoving his hands away subconsciously . I start gulping some water picking the bottle situated on my bed side table. After a few seconds, my nerves finally calmed down. I begin to act normal. My hands were on my knees and I was not feeling okay . I wasn't feeling like myself.

He notices me while I sit on the bed and began crying . The tears were ineluctably leaving while I tried my best to hold them back. I cover my face with my hair looking aside . I know he is possibly thinking it's his fault. Since, its been a long time I cried .

He comes to me , keeping his knees on the ground and holding my legs consoling , "I am sorry El." I laugh in the middle of my crying session the minute he says that.

"Why are you apologising asshole?" I move my hair to one side to view his face as I mop the tears from my face using my palms .

" I am not crying because of you ," I say with a breaking voice. He stares into my eyes while I devote mine to his , which is currently drowned in red.

"Well, you are crying in front of me.''

I am surprised even though I can see his eyes blurry and red , he still manages to keep his voice steady . I slowly cup his face where I feel his skin getting colder. I also sense his pulse beating against my fingertips. He was terrified watching me break down.

" I am crying because I am with you,'' I say easing him a bit. He smiles and kisses my hand sliding them down from his cheeks.



I lied just to appease him .

I wasn't crying because I am with him. I was crying because I know he's going to leave someday . I know "Us" won't exist. I know forever won't exist.

The main door rustles as I suspect mom and dad's presence. He got up from his knees.

"Your parents probably came."

"Yeah I guess I will open the door, " I affirm.

I descend down the stairs while I see mom and dad entering with hands full of grocery packets . "Why didn't you lock the door Ellie ?" Mom asks while keeping the bags on the table in the living room . I bite my lip disremembering , " I forgot I guess. "

Dad closes the main door and as soon as he his eyes lands on the stairs it widened.

" Ellie, I thought your mom said not to invite people."

Mom shouts from the kitchen," Wait who?" I groan shouting back rolling my eyes at dad, "Nothing it's just Dave."

I check back to see Dave giving me a nervous smile , who's in middle of stairs brainstorming if he should get down or hide in my room.

"Well, tell him to stay for dinner."

The echo of mom was probably hurting dad's ears . Dad walks up to me and whispers eyeing at Dave , "He shouldn't be staying for dinner,"

He leaves the room throwing a death stare to Dave. I laugh hearing dad telling that so significantly. Dave finally comes down.

"Woah! " He expressed, relieved .

I throw my hands wrapping around his neck saying , "Well I will see you tomorrow I guess." He grins pointing to dad who's turning on the TV in the other room.

"What about dinner?"

I raise one of my eyebrows ,"Are you sure you are ready to listen to dad's sarcastic questions?"

He nods his head right and left while we both laugh slowly . I unwrap my hands slipping them inside my jean's pocket.

"I will see you tomorrow at school."

He walks out of the door biding me goodbye.

"Bye El."

Closing the door I head to the kitchen to help mom where she says something unexpected.

"So, what took you guys so long?"

Mom throws the dirty dishes on the sink responding, "Groceries?"

But, I wasn't paying heed to her since I just realized about the leftover pizza in the living room .

"Ellie, do you have something to tell me ?" Mom asks while she takes out some jars from the shelf . I get out of my thoughts responding unsurely ,"I guess.."

I didn't understand what she was trying to say . She chuckles looking at me , "Come on! I was a teen once. "

" I don't know what you are talking about mom. ''

I regretted saying that the moment I heard next phrase .

" Oh I don't know that you are sleeping with your 'best friend' ?"

She puts the frying pan on the stove while I shout , "What?"

I lower my voice since I don't want to invite dad in this strange conversation.

"We didn't fuck."

Mom giggles probably listening to the F word coming out of my mouth. I say again, " Just because I share stuff with you doesn't mean you can say that ."

I was shocked obviously.

Mom turns on the stove fire and looks at me ," I was kidding! Why are you being so serious?"

"No mom. It's not a joke ."

I leave the kitchen annoyed while mom calls me in the background but I don't listen to her .

At dinner table where I finally managed myself to sit down, since after talking my appetite kinda ran away.

Mom keeps constantly smiling at me and I just couldn't take it anymore.

"WHAT?"

"What? I am just taking the food!" She answers razzing with a smile as she pours another spoon of mashed potatoes on her plate.

Dad narrows his eyes at me suspiciously, "Is there something I need to know?" He questions mine and mom's weird behavior.

I wanna leave the table so bad right now. I can't handle this cringe. But I can't since it's BAD MANNERS according to dad and he will be really pissed .

"Mom it's not a joke. Stop it please! " I beg the final time.

"Okay . If you promise to tell me the truth. Is he the one ?"

I cover my face with my hands out of irritation while I hear dad saying , "Is she blushing?" I take a deep breath as I ram both of my hands on the table making a loud sound unintentionally.

Bam!

The noise circled the room.

'' I made out with Dave. Happy? "

I can hear the devil clapping its hands in my head . I just ruined my life . Now, dad will never allow me to invite Dave over . But I couldn't take mom's teasing anymore. Basically, I had no choice.

"You did what ?"

Dad looks at mom where she sorry-eyed me.

"Honey..."

"Don't honey me . You started it ." I tell with arrogance.

"Tell me it's a joke," dad says looking at me. . Seeing dad's expression, I want to laugh in this situation so bad.

"You are acting like I got pregnant."

Dad whimpers " Don't say that! "

I get up from the table and not angry rather laughing so hard in my mind.

I try to keep a straight face.

"Dad chill! I am old enough to kiss people."

Dad didn't say anything while I continue to take my plate upstairs making a great escape from dad's inadequate impending speech.



At midnight, I try to contact Dave because I miss him already. My body was still craving for his touch. The kisses he had planted on me hours ago. I decide to call him gliding my phone in my hands. Pressing dial, I hold it nearer to my ear to listen to his voice more smoothly. When I hear his breathing I begin,

"Hey i***t. "

I laugh on the call as the phone hugged the exterior part of my ear.

He says dramatically, " Wow, did Ellie Daniels just called me an i***t?"

"Tired of me already?"

I mumble pacing towards the window. I sit on the sofa set in front the transparent wide glass to observe the weather outside.

It was raining. The sound of rain drops tapping on the window playing like a music to my ear. I opened the glass intrigued by the nature's beauty. The grey curtains were moved aside as my vision inspected the shimmering scenery happening outdoor.

I love the sound of the rain and in the middle of the rain drops falling on the ground he says something making me fall for him even harder.

" I will never get tired of you."