Crossing the Line

Chapter 2:

He looks so appalled, and I cannot help but wonder if this meant something more to him. If I still meant something more to him. But I bury those thoughts, because they’ll only lead to further problems, and shake my head.

“I am sorry Mr. Morgan, but I can assure you that as your attorney my priority is protecting you and your best interests, and what happened between us in the past will never cloud my judgment in doing so.”

He stays silent from my response. And I start to squirm — something I never do — I am on borrowed time with this meeting already, I find it impossible to believe that no one has come into my office already, so I certainly cannot begin to discuss us or our history right now. Feeling like a broken record at this point, I attempt to redirect him back to the priority: getting his signature on a piece of paper worth $280 million, by asking: “Do you have any other questions regarding the terms or are you ready to sign? I can go into further details but most of it has been standard since the beginning, so you’ve seen it a few times.”

I can see in his eyes his walls are starting to go back up, but I cannot allow myself even the slightest wiggle room right now. Get him to sign. Get him out. Get him to sign. Get him out. I am still chanting this in my head when he reaches forward and grabs the pen out of my hand. I stop breathing when his hand touches mine and images of our tryst flash back in my mind. I push my legs together as images of exactly what those hands can do to me in very little time play through my mind like a never ending slideshow. It isn’t until he clears his throat that I realize just how long I zoned out, as he had signed the documents and was now standing in front of my desk. Embarrassed, I quickly checked that each required signature was fulfilled before coming around to the other side and stating, “Congratulations. You are now the highest paid quarterback in the NFL. You should be proud of yourself, I know your parents are.”

He gives me a half smile and looks down. “After all this time and sacrifice to get here, you’d think I would be more excited. Instead, I’m asking myself if it was worth it.”

Knowing him the way I do, I know there’s a hidden message here, but I do not allow myself to dwell on it before I respond.

“I hardly believe that $280 million was not worth it.”

And then I begin to walk towards the wooden doors of my office to usher him out. When I reach the doors, I turn around to find that he still hasn’t moved, and instead is just staring at me. But when my eyes reach his, and its as if something inside him snaps. He crosses the room in only a few quick strides and before I know it, my back is up against the door and his lips are on mine once again. And because I have no self control, my eyes close and my arms wrap around his neck on their own accord. I’ve never felt so powerless anywhere else in my life, but I am an utter mess around this man. I always have been. He’s my biggest weakness, and yet I’m a moth to the flame. I lose myself in the kiss until there’s a knock at my door. We freeze and common sense begins to return to my brain. I push him away and correct my clothing once more. He takes a few steps back before reaching forward and pulling on my hand. Just then, the door opens, and one of the senior partners, Ryan, strides in. When he sees the two of us, he stops and stares. I think to myself, he knows what we have done and I’m about to be fired. As I brace myself for this, I stare at Ryan’s face as he gaze turns to our joined hands, and hear him say, “So you did it.”

A knot instantly twists itself around in my stomach as I follow his gaze, only to find Alec’s shaking my hand. When he repositioned his hand or started shaking mine, I will never know, but I’m three steps behind reality right now. He separates our hands and steps towards my boss. I’m barely comprehending the new developments of this situation when I hear “Ms. Cameron here has just made me the highest paid quarterback in the NFL. You should be proud of her and for what this means for your firm.”

Ryan breaks out into a smile before responding, “I am always proud of Samantha. She’s one of the best attorneys this firm has to offer. There’s never a doubt that she’ll obtain the client’s goals.”

My pride soars at the compliment, but the voice in the back of my mind reminds me that he would have never given it had he known what I just done. Desperate to exit this situation, I smile and state, “Mr. Morgan, I am so glad I could be of assistance, please let me know if there is anything else you need or any questions you might have.”

Alec, understanding that this is the conclusion of our meeting, turns and says goodbye to Ryan, who notes he will be waiting in my office when I return.

As I walk Alec to the elevators, he asks, “So anything I need I just reach out, right?”

I stop and make sure no one is within hearing range before I turn towards him and hiss, “Anything legal you need help with, reach out — the firm will make sure someone is always able to assist you. Nothing else is my problem. I’m sure you have people for other needs.”

Once he gets on this elevator, my work for him is done. I make my way down the hallway and call for the elevator, willing it to travel at supersonic speed and get here before I do something else that could jeopardize my career. Alec breaks the silence between us just before the car arrives.

“At least let me take you out to dinner as a celebration. We did both just make a couple million dollars out of this.”

I snort. Even at my position, I made pennies compared to what he or the firm are walking away with, and I have no desire to put myself in any more positions that will jeopardize my career. So I turn him down immediately.

“Alec, that is absolutely never happening and you know exactly why.”

“Sam, I swear I have changed. I will never put you in a position like that again. I have spent the last five years regretting what happened between us. Hoping every time I got off the plane in New York or in Philadelphia that I would bump into you on the street or see you at one of my games. That I would get the chance to apologize to you. That we would get the chance to find our way back to each other. And when I walked into your office for our first meeting, I knew my feelings were as strong for you as the day I first told you I was in love with you back when we were 18.”

My heart aches, but I swallow back down all the feelings bubbling up. I couldn’t forgive him for what he did. He knew every single thing about me, all my dreams, all my fears, and he still hurt me. He always knew just what to say to make everything sound like it was okay, and that is exactly why I left Philadelphia. I knew that when he came home, he’d make it all sound like one simple mistake, and I would fall right back into his arms.

So I left. I moved to New York for law school and I never looked back. I have only returned to Philadelphia a handful of times since then, mostly during football season when I was able to guarantee he was not in the area, but it’s impossible not to be reminded of him there. Everything is a reminder of us.

My parents still live in the same house, and the basement looks the same way it did when we would tell our parents we were just binging bad TV but instead were making out. The neighborhood is mostly the same. The events are the same. The late night runs to Steve’s for cheesesteaks. Dinners in Center City. The countless nights spent at Birthdays at Franky Bradley’s. Even last year, when I returned to Xfinity Live for Red October, surrounded by our friends, it was impossible not to be reminded of all of our memories.

And it is because of all this that I simply smile, and gesture to the elevators, waiting until he’s inside and the doors were closing before saying, “We will absolutely never happen, ever again. Thank you for choosing Manner and Moore, and good luck in the Red Kingdom.”

And just like that, the doors shut on the love of my life.