Loving Lisbeth Salander (XIV Series #1)

The Girl and What She Calls Home I

The cuts she had on her wrists, the bruises all over her arms were images I thought I’d never see. I knew she was rebellious but I didn’t think it was that level of violence.

No matter how much I wanted to erase my memory of her scars, I couldn't. I can't not remember how her scars felt under my skin and how awful it was even for me to just touch. Those that were almost flat but still visible, and those that felt like it's been cut just the night before. The dried out blood were horrifying to look at. I can't not think that they're scars made by her, herself. I didn’t want to look at her like the type of person who would that to herself.

"Are you listening?"

I snapped out of my thoughts and turned to Harvey who gave me a concerning stare. His hands remained on my shoulder until he realized I wasn’t listening to what he has been saying. His hands slowly drifted from my shoulder.

“You look a little pale.” He gave me a glare, leaning closer to me. “If you feel sick, you can go to the infirmary.”

I let out an apologetic sigh as I leaned back to my chair assuming he already knew I didn’t feel sick at all but he still said so in case I did feel sick. I can't even remember how I got here, to our classroom, because of how preoccupied I am with everything that's been bothering me about her. The last I remember, I was in the other building with Harvey for a different class, and now we’re here. "Y-Yeah. What was it again?" I scratched the back of my head, giving Harvey an obvious fake smile.

He grunted and flipped his notebook the other way around for no apparent reason. But I guess that it'd be out of his sudden frustration for me for the past few weeks I've been interested with Forest and how much she’s bothering me all the time. "You, my friend, are the worse friend in the entire universe."

I grinned innocently. "What is it really?"

"Mr. Jackson said we need to get our things ready by tomorrow."

Oh. "Is that it?"

"You look so bothered.” He finally blurted out as he glares at me with so much wonder. “Even more bothered than normal days. Why is that?" He tapped his finger over his chin, carefully looking at me with a judging look. “Did you demon of a girlfriend reject you and told you to get a life?”

I let out a small chuckle before sighing. Harvey’s my best friend and I tell him everything. I guess it won't hurt to let him know my concerns in life even if I know he'd end up scolding me for going after someone he doesn't personally like. "Is it." I replied still trying to get away from my bewilderedness. Maybe I didn’t need to tell him anything, after all.

He turned to me, resting his chin over the back of his hands as if he was trying to figure something out.

"Hey Harv.” I finally said before he catches me off-guard and I’d be forced to tell him everything. “Why do you think people hurt themselves?"

"What do you mean hurt? Like—"

"Like really,” I emphasized. I said it like I felt her pain beneath all those scars. “Really, really hurt themselves."

"Like when they forced Jesus to smack those nails on his palms kind of hurt?"

It sounded like a different interpretation but I nodded. I guess it was the same kind of pain judging from the way it looked from her arms.

"Well from what I watch,” He looked up, trying to remember what movie or series he saw. “It's only either they're going through something really hard,” he lifted his pointer finger to my face. “Or they're just really crazy and they just do it for fun and show." He shrugged like it wasn't a big deal, like how I expected. I guess he didn’t really know the entire context of what I was talking about so he was talking like this.

"They're going through something really hard?" I repeated and creased my brows. It made sense, his first point. When you do something like that to yourself, it would only mean they were going through something. "Bad something?"

"Is there any good depression, Mark?” He asked matter-of-factly. “Seriously.” Harvey moved back to his chair and fixed his things.

Depression? “Depression.” Could she be—

"Oh God.” My attention darted back to Harvey as he gave me a disapproving glare. He shook his head. “Don't tell me this is all about that demon again." Everything I asked him directed to Forest after all. I’m not even surprised he figured that out at this point.

I deliberately shook my head, opening my eyes wider hoping he wouldn't catch me lying this time but I knew that wouldn’t help my case. He wasn’t going to believe me and I already admitted and accepted that even to myself. Harvey always knew what was running inside my head. "No, no. It's for my research," I paused. “Project…”

"Research." He teasingly repeated already aware that I wasn’t doing any Research. It was far too unrealistic of me to be asking about a research project. “Project…”

"Yeah. On, uh, human..." Human. Human. Human. "Behavioral, uh," Human behavioral. "Actions!" I snapped my fingers, proud of what I just came up with. It doesn’t sound made-up at all. Certainly, not made-up at all. “Human behavioral actions.” I repeat but he doesn’t look convinced as anticipated.

"Human behavioral actions?" He emphasized every word with sarcasm, and now that they were really coming out of his mouth, it sounds even more pathetic than how I originally wanted it to come out. "No decent teacher would accept that title for a research. Let alone a study paper."

I gulped. I almost forgot that Harvey was a lot smarter than he looked – even the trickiest joker won’t fool his soul. "You wouldn't have answered any of my concerning questions if I told you this was about Forest."

"That's why I'm telling you not to talk to me about that girl because if at some point we end up just talking about her every time we're together, we might not talk ever again." His eyes widened as he shook his head.

I chuckled at how fast he talks when he’s mad – specifically when it’s about Forest. "Okay. Let's talk about how much you like Connie then."

"That's better."

I pressed my lips together in surprise that he'd actually bite into my trap. I didn’t think he would say or agree to it.

"What? I mean, no! I mean, yes! Yes, let’s talk about Connie or any other girl you like, duh,” his eyes shook and I can tell how tensed he got after he just confirmed my speculations of him liking Connie.

“And that you like Connie?” I pressed harder, unable to hide my laughter.

“Who said I like her?!"

I crinkled my brows almost bursting to laughter. "You did."

"Hey, I never said that!"

I bobbed my head to save him from the embarrassment I just gave him. "Okay, okay.” Even if he hates talking about Forest, I wasn’t the type of friend that would embarrass him for the things that he intended to hide. If he said he didn’t like Connie, even if I strongly believed he did, then I won’t push it further. “If you say so, Harv."

"I really don't! What are you talking about?" I chuckled at him. He looked so nervous right now that I felt so guilty for making fun of his feelings for Connie like that. “Oh my god!” He leaned closer to me, examining my face. “What the hell happened to your face?!”

My eyes widened as I hastily moved away from him attempting to cover my left cheek which totally blew my cover off. “What do you mean? It’s totally fine.” I laughed and started looking to my left on purpose just so I can turn my bruised cheek away from him, but I guess it made Harvey more convinced that something happened to it.

He drastically brought my right hand down, which was covering my left cheek (very smart move to hide something by the way), grabbed my chin and tilted my head to the right. “Oh my God! That’s not fine! Shouldn’t you be consulting a doctor? That doesn’t look normal.”

I scratched my head and grinned. “Really. It’s not a big deal. It will heal sooner or later. You won’t even remember it’s there. This is far from death.” I assured him but he creased his brows unconvinced. It did hurt a lot. Especially when it was just a fresh hit.

“I’d believe that it’s not a big deal,” he touched his chest part pertaining to himself. “But half of your face is bloated and red. I knew you looked different since a while ago!” he pointed a finger at my direction like my mom when she’s mad at me. “You should get that checked up.” He frowned at me. “What if cancer cells develop there?”

I blinked. Cancer? “Can you get cancer from a small bruise?”

“Small bruise?!” He exclaimed. “That is not a small bruise!”

I guess it really wasn’t.

“I don’t know?! How would I know, I’m no doctor!” He exclaimed frantically. “It might be possible now that you’re experiencing it for all we know.”

I laughed. “I’ll have it treated in the infirmary later. Don’t worry.”

“Jesus.” He let out a sigh in relief. “What are you doing with your life recently? If you end up like that demon and her friends, I’m discarding you out of my life.” He frowned and brought out a notebook from his bag. “How in the world would you even have that bruise?! You were never clumsy. It doesn’t look like it’s an accident either.”

“I fell – very deep.”

He turned to me aggressively.

“While I was running to class. That’s all.” I lied. It’s amazing how much I lied in front of Harvey ever since I took interest with Forest. Of course, I didn’t fell running to catch my class because first of all, I am never late for my classes and Harvey knows this very well.

“Now you’re late too? Impressive.” But he didn’t look impressed at all. He didn’t look convinced either.

Yesterday, before I saw Forest below the bleachers just by the field, I met Hunter and a few of his friends. I didn’t want to initiate any fight but I couldn’t do anything. Everything happened so fast and before I knew it, everyone was already charging at me. Hunter wasn’t even hitting me. He was letting his pawns do his dirty work. I was lucky yesterday because I had spare clothes I could change to. I was covered with dirt and my lip was cut from the punches the group gave me. I couldn’t fight back even if I wanted to. There was just too many of them and just one, me. I don’t regret getting punches from them though because Forest, in her own little way, tried to help me with it by giving me ice for the bruise. I was glad she didn’t see the cut in my lip because she would feel worse if she did. Or maybe that’s what I thought she would do.

I chuckled at the thought. Even if I defended myself, he would know I was still lying. “My mom’s birthday is coming up by the way, she wants you to come for dinner.”

“Oh yeah, is it on Saturday already?” I was glad his face softened after that. Since a while ago, his face was stiff and tensed so fortunately, I remembered about it.

I nodded at him.

“I should go buy something for her on Friday then. Tell her I’m never gonna miss a single birthday celebration she throws.” He said and I laughed.