Loving Lisbeth Salander (XIV Series #1)

The Girl Who Threw a Fist I

“Hey! Mark!”

I turned my head, not so curious of who it was because I knew it would be Harvey, and I was right. I smiled at him from a far as a greeting and he responded by running towards my direction rather than walk. I waited for him to reach me from where I stopped. I don’t know what he was running for. It wasn’t late for him to run this much. As a matter of fact, we were always early and punctual when comes to first classes. Maybe he was just eager to walk with his friend. His only friend, really.

When he reached me, I almost wanted to go buy him some water for how worked up he did so early this morning. He and I wasn’t the most athletic student there is. A simple running like this would tire us out. He panted hard as he leaned against my shoulder for support so I stood firmly for him. “Slow down. I won’t run away from you even if you told me many times how much you hate me.” I laughed at him who was trying to catch his breath. I assumed that maybe he just wanted us to walk together to school. “Deep breaths.”

“I swear, I’m going to end up like this every morning if I don’t get up early.”

I smiled and turned to him with a brilliant thought from his statement. “It’s good, right?” He flashed a questioning look. “You get to lose some fats!” I teased and he gave me a small punch by the stomach. I laughed at this and he kept a salty, grim face.

“I’m not that fat.” He objected with a pout.

“I was messing with you.” I chuckled, thinking I was partly serious about it. “It’s only seven thirty. You’re fine.” I assured my friend, but he still didn’t look too happy. The way he was fixing his bag, that didn’t look like it wasn’t hanging by his back the way it should, was very aggressive.

“Who in their right minds would schedule an eight o’clock class?!” He complained exclaiming out his frustration, and all I could do was laugh at his rant. Apparently, he wasn’t that much fond of the early classes. All nine o’clock classes were taken fast during the enrolment, unfortunately. And we had no choice but to take the eight o’clock ones for that one unit. “Who, honestly, wakes up at six just to prepare for the stupid eight o’clock classes?” he complained more. I couldn’t blame him. He was angry for the right reasons.

I shrugged and I couldn’t help but wander around in hopes to see a certain someone but to no avail, she was nowhere to be seen. Who am I kidding? She didn’t seem like the type of person who would be lurking around campus this early in the morning. She wasn’t even the type to attend her class on time. Why did I think she’d be around? It’s funny.

“I know I don’t and those who actually do,” Harvey added, taking a deep breath before speaking. “They’re all losers.”

“So I’m a loser?” I asked, laughing out loud. It wasn’t really a serious question. It just came out as a sarcastic response to his violent reactions about early morning classes.

He frowned at this. He might have had a bad morning – I’m guessing burnt bacon if not perfectly cooked sunny side up eggs. Whatever it was, I was sure it was a factor for his grumpiness right now. “You’re too good to be true.” He squinted his eyes at me, shaking his head in dismay. “That’s why no one likes you because you’re too perfect it’s almost a sore in the eye.” His shoulders moved in a weird way, the kind that goes up when you say cringey stuff, and it makes their whole body clench.

I smiled. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“You take everything as a compliment.”

Hm? I turned to him with a confused look.

“And it’s not like you get any bad comments about yourself. That’s how much of a perfect role model you are around here.” He gestured a rainbow in the air with his hands.

“I do get them.”

“Yeah, hardly.” He arched his brow, immediately cutting me off before I could even deny everything he just said about me being a perfect role model around the university. “That’s why everyone in your department is head over heels for you,” He lightly poked my shoulder.

I chuckled. “Well…” I sighed, shrugging. Too bad I’m head over heels for someone who was pushing me off, haha…

After our first class, I was so eager to get to the cafeteria just so I can talk to Forest again, but I was surprised to see Connie standing outside the room instead and I wasn’t too pleased. I looked at her surprised and she looks up to me. I felt awkward. I didn’t want to show her I was disappointed that she was there because it’d hurt her feelings. But I also didn’t want to be disrespectful and dash to the cafeteria just because I wanted to meet Forest. It could be something important that’s why she was here. Or about the student council.

I don’t exactly know how to approach someone I know except when it’s Four – and Harvey, I guess. I, for some reason, just get up to her and say the most random things which was unusual. I don’t normally talk so much in front of girls because they look fragile and sensitive in my eyes. I was worried of saying things that might hurt their feelings. That’s just me. And how I’m unable to properly have a conversation with them.

“Mark,”

“Hi, Connie.” I finally said, flashing a small awkward smile hoping it would somehow make things less uncomfortable. I felt my knees shake and I’d only hope that they didn’t reach my vocal chords. I wouldn’t want to be seen stammering in front of Connie, otherwise, it would be a misleading response. “What brings you here?” Then I remembered. “Oh, were you waiting for your friends?” I asked, confident that she was here for them and not for the reasons I thought, but she shook her head. “Boyfriend?” She shook her head again with a chuckle this time, and I tried to hide the shock in my face at the idea that she might be waiting for her— “Girlfriend?”

“No, silly!”

That’s a relief, I guess. My face relaxed a little. It’d be a waste if she was attracted to a she. I mean, there would be nothing wrong if she was dating someone like her, but I’ve always teased Harvey with her so I guess I want them for each other more than anything. “So what really brings you here then?” I asked again.

“I came here for you.”

This time, I was just as shocked as I am with the thought of her being a lesbian. “Me?” I asked again to make sure I was hearing things right, so when she nodded, I proceeded to ask, “Why? Is there something I can help you with?” I knew she liked me before, but I assume by now that whenever we talk, or whatever business or relationship we have with each other was purely for leadership. Not being infatuated or anything like that. I can only hope that by now, she has moved on from confessing to me and from the feelings she had for me. She doesn’t seem like she moved on from anything, though… She’s being shy and blushing like a tomato. It’s cute but cute just isn’t… well, hitting me with those sparks like she must have expected.

“N-No. I just wanted to know if you wanted to eat lunch with me today.”

Oh no. I pressed my lips together, feeling the pressure that question gave my chest as she asked. I didn’t want to turn her down, but I didn’t want to not see Forest today either. I would hate to admit that Connie was ruining the only time I longed for this whole morning. At the same time, I didn’t want to be rude and turn her down, but if I agreed to this, what would she think? I didn’t want my answers nor my actions to be misleading in anyway. This was too much for me and the pressure got to me as I strived for the right answer. “Well,” I looked away with a heavy heart. “Okay, yeah.” I answered a little hesitantly, and replied, “Sure.”

Just like that, I ended up walking towards the cafeteria with Connie and the moment we both sat across each other in one table, eyes turned with small audible whispers that surrounded us. It felt uncomfortable. I didn’t hate Connie. I hate the attention that was poured to her and everything she gets involved with becomes a big deal – and well, while I wasn’t ready to be a big deal, and I was already getting enough attention from being myself, all my mind could think of was Forest. I am used to the small attention I’ve had from a few girls and that alone makes me feel uncomfortable, but the level of attention Connie gets was a different level of discomfort, considering that our school’s population was mostly made up of males who were fond of her.

Connie was a very well-known student. Boys swooned over her beauty and, for some reason, girls idolized her as well. Or maybe they just feel envious of her, but nonetheless, I’m not one of those guys who were captivated by her physical looks or her undeniable intellect. She looked pretty average in my eyes. Her beauty was the norm, that’s why everyone admired her looks. Her wit and leadership wasn’t anything superior to me either. I don’t see anything special in her the way I looked at Forest.

I couldn’t bring a food to my mouth. I was too disturbed by the many stares that were surrounding us – that includes Connie’s odd way of eating. It was like she was having a tea with royals, or the queen, of how proper she looked. It was unexplainable.

“How have you been, Mark?” she suddenly asked.

The sound of her voice made me flinch. Everything inside me, I felt them clench. I wasn’t used to hearing her soft voice. In the short period of time I got to spend with Forest, I learned to like her tone a little better than hers. “Oh, well,” I looked around, unsure of what I should say, even. I could feel myself sweating from sitting across her. “The usual. I’m good, and you?”

She stopped slicing her bread. Yes, she was slicing her bread like a princess, before she looked up to me and smiled. “I’m good too. Thank you for asking. A little stressed from council work, but still manageable.”

And just like every awkward conversation, I was sure it was going to end there. I didn’t want to have more conversations with her but I didn’t want to have such awkward meal either. I was so confused with my thoughts whenever I’m with Connie. Everything was jumbled and disoriented. I didn’t feel comfortable, not one bit. I felt like I’m doing something wrong that’s right but something right that felt wrong.

“Don’t feel so tensed, Mark.” Tensed? “Everyone knows I like you and you turned me down, so no need to feel like this.” I gulped. That came out of her mouth like it was nothing. “I should be the one feeling uneasy. I just wanted things to get back to how things were before I confessed. You know, being friends.”

“Of course!” The last thing I wanted was to talk about that horrifying memory we both have. But, her, bringing it up felt more natural, I guess. Since I don’t have to awkwardly bring it up. “I just don’t want—”

“You’re not, Mark.” She chuckled.

“I don’t like the idea of you having false assumptions of my intentions.” I said, even though she cut me off.

She looked at me as if she had just heard the meanest words as her smile slowly faded into her normal pouty lips. “I can see your intensions clearly, Mark.” She nodded, her poise not budged. “You don’t have to explain yourself. I get it. You don’t like me.”

I looked down in guilt. Sometimes I wonder why Connie even liked me. I wasn’t buff like other guys, I wasn’t that handsome. No matter how true it was, it didn’t felt right hearing it from someone you turned down. “It’s not that I don’t like you, Connie. I just really think you deserve someone better. Someone who is equally—”

“So how was your day so far?”

I froze, a little surprised by her sudden shift of topic. I watched her take a bite off her bread from the fork. “I-It’s good, I guess.”