Loving Lisbeth Salander (XIV Series #1)

The Scarred Girl I

“Why did you do that?!” Just like that, I was immediately welcomed by my best friend’s loud remarks of my foolishness for the nth time. “Are you out of your freaking mind?! What were you thinking?!”

I sighed and stared at the food with not much of an appetite. It wasn’t because of Harvey or the way he was telling me off today. I just wasn’t that feeling good today to eat much. “I don’t know.” The memory from last night’s party was so fresh in my memory, I can barely keep my mind straight out from it. It wasn’t particularly a memory I’d want to keep revising but that was what’s happening. “I don’t know why I did that, to be honest. Like I wasn’t myself.” I glanced up to Harvey to see his reaction, and just like what I’ve predicted, he wasn’t amused. He was never amused of my past actions recently, and I get why. I wouldn’t be too happy with myself either.

“You haven’t been yourself for the past few weeks. What do you mean?!” he sarcastically asked back.

True. I’ve changed the moment I crossed paths with Forest. I wouldn’t say it was a bad change. Because a lot of the things I’m doing were changing me for the better. I’m learning how to stand up for myself, and be brave enough to take risks. These things you can’t learn just from reading academic books. You need to learn to live through it and experience it.

“When are you going to realize that this girl isn’t going to ever acknowledge the efforts you put into just making her glance your way?”

But she does.

Often, recently, she does. And that’s enough validation I need from her to exist in her life.

“What if that guy lost his mind and just,” He punched the air, mimicking an undercut. “Wrecked your face?!”

Hunter’s face did haunt me the whole night after the party. Like he was Freddie Crueger. Sleeping felt like he was going to come at me with a knife and a bloody mask, with just eyes piercing through my soul. “For some reason, I just started speaking up like I wasn’t scared.” I explained, even though my courage was still a mystery to me too. “Like there was another voice inside me speaking for me, and he was much braver than I will ever be without Forest.”

He stared at me in disbelief, in disgust even. “She’s got into your head.”

Who got into whose head? I squinted my eyes at Harvey unable to point out what he meant. It felt familiar and it didn’t seem like a complicated phrase but my head refused to take the information in. My head felt so heavy, I didn’t even have one drink from the party and it’s already this bad. Then again, I wasn’t able to sleep well because of Hunter, so I guess that’s a factor to my headache.

“She’s got her demon stuff into your head!” He exclaimed, stretching his arms closer to me to poke the side of my head which caused my nerves to tinkle from his touch.

Meaning what exactly? My head was too fuzzy to comprehend all this.

“You were never like this before you met that demon, Mark.” I squeezed my eyes shut in irritation. Not this again. I was always amused when Harvey did this but I wasn’t having it today. “You’ve changed so much and I’m not sure I’m liking this version of you.” Why am I hot-tempered today? I’d usually laugh it off. Oh god. My head hurts too much that it was making me moodier than usual. “I want the old silent and quiet Mark, not this.” I’m silent and quiet? “Mark who’s always tailing someone who can’t even say his name right.”

“You said you wanted me to change and now I did. I’m standing up for myself. I stood up for myself last night and it honestly felt good to be able to do that – to feel like you can be something more, you know. It’s a very nice feeling.” I stared at him hoping he’d understand my point.

His gaze softened as he blinked upward like he just realized something and I chuckled at how adorable my friend was. “Well I did say that but I meant for you to change in a good way and this is an example of a bad change.”

I laughed harder this time. I knew I was going to regret laughing this much later because it would make my head hurt more. “You’re giving statements that contradict your past words, Harv. I’m not sure what to follow anymore. I’m confused.”

“You’re laughing? You’re laughing?!” He exclaimed in disbelief, slamming his palms over the table. “How can you laugh in a situation like this?!” He lifted a pointer in the air to emphasize that he was pertaining to someone, then pointed his finger at me. “That guy you messed with last night, when you decided to go into a party without me just to, quote, adapt to her environment,” He rolled his eyes, shaking his head with an audible grunt. “—is an ex drug user who is, I quote, a friend of your so little demon friend."

I gulped. I knew that when I tried to look him up. Apparently he sells drugs and takes them. Alcoholic and problematic one, that man, ever since middle school. I was surprised he still got admitted in a college. I can only think the higher ups were paid to accept his admission. Money does buy everything. That’s the real world.

“He’s known for being part of underground black market stuff. That’s why he got sent to jail!”

That wasn’t true. He was sent to juvenile but not jail.

I pouted, lowering my chin down, scratching my chin as I recalled my conversation with her. “Forest said he’s anything but close to her.” I paused for a moment. Now that I think about it, Hunter talked as if he knew things about Forest – something about her that only the two of them knew. Maybe they were close but Forest just refused to admit that or she just didn’t want me to rub her business on my nose. My face scrunched into a frown. I wonder if she meant what she said when she told me he was anything but close to her.

“You bought that? You believed her when she said she wasn’t friends with him?”

I gulped. He had a point. I had every reason not believe a thing what she says.

“As if she’s going to tell you any truth!” Harvey looked like he was about to explode – sort of like my mom when she finds out I’m doing something wrong and she’s trying to tell me off. “The girl’s a demon.” He almost whispered. “All demons do is lie.”

I looked away. Maybe Forest and Hunter really were friends and she just happened to hate him that night so she turned against him. The duel between them didn’t seem like it was a child’s game too.

“Forest. Hunter. Even their names go well together so they go well together! They have a natural chemistry.” Harvey exclaimed in a similar tone of when he finishes a puzzle or a riddle. “Both their names are bad news.” He rolls his eyes. “Who comes up with those names?” He crossed his arms but I glared at him wriggling my brows teasingly.

Then I realized. I teasingly glared at Harvey with a sly grin. “You just said her name.”

He furrowed his brows. “W-What, no I didn’t?”

“You did.” I laughed, teasingly glaring at him with an arched brow. There was no denying that he did, and denying it just meant he was guilty. “You said, Forest, Hunter, even their names go well together. You said it! I’m sure I still have clear hearing and I did not miss that nor did I mishear that.”

“W— Whatever! So I said it?” He defended himself. “I only said it to prove my point, that’s that.” He crossed his arms but I continue teasing him, completely ignoring the fact that two minutes ago, my head was so painful that it was unbearable. These are times when I really liked having Harvey by my side, and sometimes, I’d rather not. I rarely want him not around me though. He has such bright personality to go with his look. There was no way we could stay mad at each other even if we were annoyed with each other’s presence.

“Are you jealous because they have better names than we do?” I studied his face and tried to confirm my assumptions. He didn’t look like he agreed but he didn’t seem to disagree either. Of course anyone would be envious when someone’s name was better than theirs. Sure, I like my name but it’s not as peculiar as theirs. It catches people’s attention without trying so hard. It makes it easy for people to remember them.

“I love my name.” He squinted his eyes his eyes at me, disagreeing with my statement.

I chuckled but nodded my head only to not escalate this argument about names and whatnot even further. Although, we’ve always had pointless arguments even before, so we’re not really losing anything here. “Okay. Let’s finish our meals and get changed for P.E before Mr. Pepsi comes at us again.”

“Me? You’re the one who started talking about your new demon friends when you went to party like you’re one of them when you’re supposed to pose as a role model here!” He exclaimed. I definitely felt the strong emotions he had with that. “You’re tainting your own image here, and you’re going to drag me down with you when that happens.” He crossed his arms, leaning back to his chair.

I burst into laughter. Every time he calls Forest a demon is pretty funny to me but not so much a few minutes ago. I might be suffering from disassociate personality disorder and I don’t even know it for my odd duality and mood shifts. “You still got a lot on your tray! Hurry!” I exclaimed as I bite my last meat ball and he stuffed his face with the remaining food in his tray.