The ground was not meant to be trusted.
That was the first thing I learned.
Not because it was dangerous, but because it refused to behave the way I expected. It was uneven, slightly damp in places, stubborn in others. Every step felt like a small negotiation, like the earth itself was testing whether I deserved to stand on it.
I didnât.
At least, not yet.
âWalk properly,â Yseldous said from a few steps ahead of me, not even turning around.
âI am walking properly,â I replied, trying not to sound as irritated as I felt.
âYouâre fighting the ground.â
I stopped.
âIâm not fighting anything.â
âYou are,â he said. âYouâre trying to control how it feels under your feet instead of adjusting to it.â
I stared at him.
âYouâre telling me how to walk now?â
âIâm telling you how not to fall.â
âIâm not going to fall.â
I took another step.
And immediately slipped.
It wasnât dramatic. I didnât fall completely. But I stumbled enough to lose balance, arms flailing slightly before I caught myself.
Silence followed.
Not loud. Not mocking.
Just⊠there.
I straightened up quickly, brushing imaginary dust off my clothes.
âI didnât fall,â I said.
âYou almost did.â
âThat doesnât count.â
âIt does here.â
I exhaled sharply.
âI hate this place.â
âNo, you donât,â he said.
I blinked.
âExcuse me?â
âYou hate not being good at it.â
That landed.
Too directly.
Too accurately.
I looked away, focusing on the rows of crops ahead of us. They stretched in long, neat lines, everything in its place, everything where it was meant to be.
Unlike me.
We reached a section where several workers were already busy. They moved with a kind of rhythm I didnât understand yet. Not rushed, not slow. Just steady.
Like they knew something I didnât.
They glanced at me, some curious, some amused, but none of them said anything.
That somehow made it worse.
âThis is where you start,â Yseldous said, handing me a small bundle of tools.
I stared at them.
Then at him.
âWhat am I supposed to do with this?â
âWork.â
âThatâs not helpful.â
He stepped closer, crouching slightly near one of the plants.
âWatch,â he said.
I did.
Because for once, I didnât have anything else to say.
His movements were simple, but precise. He handled the soil like it mattered. Not gently, not carelessly. Just⊠correctly.
âThereâs a way to do this,â he explained. âNot fast, not slow. Just enough.â
I frowned slightly.
âEnough for what?â
âFor it to grow,â he said.
I watched his hands for a moment longer, then looked down at mine.
Clean.
Unmarked.
Useless here.
âYour turn,â he said, stepping back.
I hesitated.
Then crouched down awkwardly, trying to mimic what I had seen.
The soil felt strange against my fingers. Not unpleasant, just unfamiliar. Like touching something alive without understanding how it worked.
I moved carefully.
Too carefully.
âThis feels wrong,â I said.
âIt feels new,â he corrected.
I tried again, adjusting slightly.
Then again.
Still wrong.
âThis is harder than it looks,â I admitted quietly.
âIt usually is,â he said.
I exhaled, pushing a strand of hair away from my face.
âI donât think Iâm doing it right.â
âYouâre not,â he replied.
I looked up at him.
âCould you at least pretend to encourage me?â
âI am,â he said.
âHow is that encouraging?â
âYouâre still trying.â
I paused.
Then looked back down.
I tried again.
This time, I moved a little faster. Less thinking, more doing.
The result was immediate.
Messier.
Worse.
I leaned back slightly, frustrated.
âThis is impossible.â
âItâs not.â
âIt is for me.â
âItâs not,â he repeated. âYouâre just not patient.â
I let out a small laugh, though there was no humor in it.
âOf course Iâm not patient. Why would I be?â
He didnât answer right away.
Instead, he watched me.
Not critically.
Just⊠observing.
âYouâre used to things responding quickly,â he said after a moment.
âYes,â I replied. âBecause thatâs how things should work.â
âNot everything,â he said.
I looked at the rows in front of me again.
âThey just⊠sit there,â I said.
âThey grow,â he corrected.
âSlowly.â
âYes.â
I shook my head.
âI donât understand how you can stand this.â
âStand what?â
âThis pace,â I said. âThis waiting.â
He crouched again, this time closer to me.
âYou think this is waiting,â he said. âItâs not.â
âThen what is it?â
âBuilding,â he replied.
I frowned.
âIt looks like nothing.â
âIt always does at first.â
That made me quiet.
Not convinced.
But⊠quieter.
I tried again.
And this time, I slowed down.
Not because I wanted to.
But because I didnât know what else to do.
A few seconds passed.
Then a minute.
Then another.
âI think I did that right,â I said carefully.
He leaned slightly to look.
A pause.
Then, âBetter.â
I smiled.
Just a little.
Before I could stop myself.
âYou could say âgood job,â you know,â I said.
âI could,â he replied.
âAnd?â
âAnd âbetterâ is more accurate.â
I rolled my eyes.
âYouâre exhausting.â
âYouâre improving.â
I sat back on my heels, letting out a breath.
âThat felt⊠different.â
âBecause you stopped fighting it,â he said.
I looked down at my hands.
There was dirt on them now.
Not a lot.
But enough to notice.
âIâm getting dirty,â I said.
âYes.â
âI donât like it.â
âYou will.â
I shook my head.
âNo, I wonât.â
He didnât argue this time.
He just stood up.
âContinue,â he said.
I watched him walk a few steps away, then looked back at what I had done.
It wasnât perfect.
Probably not even good.
But it was⊠something.
I leaned forward again, hesitating only for a second before continuing.
The sun climbed higher.
The air grew warmer.
Time passed in a way I wasnât used to noticing.
And somewhere between frustration and effort, between failing and trying again, something shifted.
Not dramatically.
Not enough to admit out loud.
But enough to feel.
âIâm still bad at this,â I called out after a while.
âYes,â he replied from a distance.
I smiled slightly.
âBut Iâm not as bad as before,â I added.
There was a pause.
Thenâ
âNo,â he said. âYouâre not.â
I didnât realize it then, but that mattered more than I expected.
Not the work.
Not the dirt.
Not even the effort.
But the fact that someone noticed.
And said it.
Without making it bigger than it was.
I looked at the land again.
Still wide.
Still unfamiliar.
Still not mine.
But for the first timeâŠ
It didnât feel like it was pushing me away.
And I didnât feel like leaving.
Not immediately.
That was new.
And I didnât know what to do with it yet.