Because Of Him

When I refused

It occurred to me that Hayes always had some pickup line or comeback before he always kissed me. Actually, I don't seem to remember the first time he even did. I just somehow got lost through his lips and once they connected to mine, it was impossible to pull the slightest bit away.

"Oh Jesus Christ," a voice said. Hayes parted away with a sound escaping from his last touch from my lips and spun around facing the door. Taylor stood there with Nash. "What's going on?" Taylor smirked as he made a 'tsk' sound with his tongue. I stared at Hayes who was staring back at me.

"Nothing! I mean-er- we were just-"

"Just talking!" Hayes said, cutting me off nervously.

"And he happened to also give you some CPR?" Nash joked.

"Shut up Nash." Hayes said as he brought his focus back to me.

"Anyways, how you doing Hayes?"

"I'm fine. What about dipshit carter?" Hayes said

"He's long gone." Taylor said.

"What?" I confusingly said

"We kicked him out" Nash replied.

"I thought he was one of your closest friends?"

"He is"

"Then why'd you kick him out?"

"Well," Nash said "family comes first." And he patted Hayes on the shoulder.

Hayes mumbled a quiet "ouch" he was still some what hurt. He ran his fingers across the little cuts from the glass cup that was spread across his hand. "Hayes, I think you gotta get that checked" Nash said.

"No"

"No?"

"Screw that. I'm fine." Hayes strongly said as he laid down on the bed with his hands around his head and flexed his arms. My insides turned.

"Hayes-" Nash spoke but Hayes cut him off.

"I'm fine Nash."

"You sure?"

"Hell I'm sure. In fact, I think I'll go for a little ride with some of the guys and honey." Hayes sung in a small musical tone.

"It's dark as f**k. Where are you guys gonna go?" Taylor hissed

Hayes looked at Nash and Taylor with a devious smirk.

"I think we're gonna pay James singleton a little 'visit'" Hayes said deviously as a satisfied expression plastered his face.

That's when I remembered: 10 destinations.

Destination #3: James's house

"Are you f*****g serious hayes,?Nash said. "It's already passed midnight. He's probably home asleep"

"No he's not." Dylan's voice peaked through the doorway.

"What makes you so sure?" Taylor asked as his eyebrows scrunched up.

"Today's was the schools big basketball game against our school rivals"

"So?"

"So our school won."

"And? What shitty point does that prove?" Nash said.

"It means the basketball team is out celebrating for their little 'win' and will be out all night long until their asses are falling off" Dylan retorted.

"Whatever. Just don't get arrested for hell's sake" Nash said.

"Wait, you're not coming?" Hayes asked

"I'm good. Rachel is probably looking for me anyways." Nash said before he turned he heel and exited the room to find my sister. Taylor had followed several minutes later.

Dylan paced around the room before facing Hayes with a mixed expression. "f**k, Hayes can I talk to you? I heard that crys-"

"Talk later." Hayes hissed.

"But she's-"

"Later." Hayes hissed again like he was the leader of the wolf pact.

"s**t Man. Why can't-"

"Goodbye Dylan" Hayes said again before rolling his eyes. Dylan let out a defeated sigh before leaving. Hayes faced back at me and I realized again, that he was still shirtless. His lightly tan skin for being outside all day caught my eyes. His collar bone that showed that was impossible to not have your finger gently trace it and his-

"My face is kinda up here you know?" Hayes said as he pointed towards his face and laughed at me. I averted my eyes from his body and lined my eyesight with his eyes. "So are we really going to James's house?"

"Does it look like I'm kidding?" Hayes said as he got up from the bed and picked up a different shirt that had the work reckless drawn across it. He slipped it on and adjusted his messy hair.

"But Hayes-"

"The only butt I wanna see is yours walking out the door with me, now come on." Hayes said as he grabbed my wrist. "Hayes, you're still bleeding." I stopped him from taking any more steps as I pointed to his bleeding hand. Hayes let out an annoyed sigh before opening up a few bandages and placing it on his several cuts. "Better?" He said annoyed

"Stop being so sassy and whiny"

"Which you love"

"No I do not!" I exclaimed

"Admit it"

"Admit what?"

"I love you, you love me. Clear? I think so."

"I never said I loved you."

"The way you kissed me, says you do"

"I guess I like you. But I don't love you." Lies. I guess I supposedly loved him. Funny how this all turns out.

"Shut up you asshole" I jokingly said

"I love you" Hayes said

"I like you." I said.

"Hard to get huh? That's how's it gonna be?" He said as he smiled at me and made fighting gestures playfully.

"Harder than you think" I said

"Harder than a P-"

"Don't say penis." I blurted

"I was gonna say: harder than a Popsicle that was fresh out of the freezer, but that works too" Hayes said as he snickered. He didn't make much sense, but that's okay.

Because my feelings for him didn't make much sense either.

Hayes and I went downstairs where the loud music was still hectic and you could feel the house tearing apart from the ground because of the constant movement when people danced. Hayes grabbed my hand and held it for a moment, stared at me, and then continued walking and pulling me through the tight spaces of body's clamped against one another.

"Taylor, can we borrow one of your cars?" Hayes said to Taylor over the loud music

"What? Are you kidding? I'm not-"

"Please" I pouted. Knowing that Taylor wouldn't give in to Hayes but might give in to me. Taylor exhaled deeply and rolled his eyes. "Fine. But don't crash or anything." Taylor said as he extended his hand and opened his palm which held his car keys. I've been told that Taylor had a thing for cars. I laughed silently to myself.

Hayes and I walked out of Taylor's house still hand and hand and shut the door behind us. The music was unclear but if you placed your face on the door, you could feel the vibration through it.

Hayes walked out to the driveway releasing his grip from my hand which made my hand feel suddenly too loose and that I needed his hand with mine. Like a craving. I spotted Dylan, Riley and Logan waiting by one of Taylor's cars.

"You ready?" Riley said as he nodded his head towards Hayes.

"Let's go." Hayes held the keys in his hands and made his way over to the drivers seat. Hayes insisted that I sit in the passengers seat beside him, and so I did. Riley, Logan and Dylan took the back seats.

-

The drive was silent as the revving sound of Taylor's car made good background sounds to add to the awkwardness that was trapped in the ride. "So why exactly are you guys getting revenge on James?"

"We told you already." Riley said.

"I know, he stole your girlfriend. Who's the girl anyways? And what did he do to steal her?"

"Her name was sandy," well then. " Jessica told me that sandy was 'hooking up' with James every Thursday when I would be at football practice. And I guess that's just when this all started" Riley explained calmly.

"Hooking up?" I said

"You know, popping her cherry" hayes said as an adorable smile filled his face along with giggles

"Okay. I get it" I said

"They did the '69'" Dylan said

"Okay I got it-"

"Stop here Hayes!" Riley said. Hayes hit the breaks and the car tired squealed and my heart raced of adrenaline. This would make an interesting story to tell one day. Luckily the streets were empty and we hadn't crashed into anyone. Hayes pulled up by the store shoppers. I'm guessing because it was open 24 hours.

"Why did we stop?" I asked

"Hayes remember, we had to get-" Riley said with Hayes finishing his sentence. "The stuff!," Hayes exclaimed. "How could I forget the stuff?" Hayes said as he sighed.

"What stuff?!" I said loudly

"Dylan, Riley and I will just by the stuff. You and honey stay here." Logan said as he opened the door on his side and ignored my question. "Sure." Hayes said.

Once the guys were out, the car went dead silent. Hayes had pulled out his phone and was messaging someone. His fingers did a little danced as I tried to get little peaks. I know I was being nosey. But I was really curious. My eyes jumped out when I got the small sight of the name "Dante" at the top of his phone of whom he was messaging. I averted my eyes to pretend I had not seen a thing. "Hayes, who are you texting?" I asked. "No one. No one that matters anyways." It got me suspicious of what Dante had told me before. "Hayes, I heard how you asked Dante to help you with a writing project"

"What? How do you know?"

"I just heard."

"Okay fine. I did, but I-"

"Why didn't you just ask me?"

"Because I knew how you don't write anymore. And I didn't want to pressure you into anything you didn't want to do." Hayes said.

"Well you're wrong"

"Oh?" He said like his voice hit a high pitch.

"Yup. I started writing again."

"You did?"

"Yes I did"

"Really? Then recite to me one of your poems"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Do you have a pen?"

"Um," Hayes put down his phone and checked around the car until he found one. "Here."

I took the pen and took one of hayes's arms.

"What are you-?"

"Shh..." I said. Then I started writing a poem that I memorized of mine and had wrote recently on his arm in small letters.

If everything we thought,

Appeared on the canvas of our skin,

My body would be covered with scribbles of his name.

He had blue piercing eyes that aimed at my heart, he had brown shaggy hair that you couldn't resist running your fingers through, he had the winning smirk and the scent of a cigar. And he had a heart like no other.

And then I jotted the 3 words that weren't apart of my poem, but I always thought:

I love you

Once I was done writing I let Hayes take his arm and read it. His lips moving slowly to the words that were printed onto his own skin.

"So you do love me" he said.

"I never said that."

"But you wrote-"

"I wrote it. But I never said it. Therefore, it does not count."

"It would sound even better if it came from your voice"

"I told you. I'm not telling you that I love you."

"When will you tell me?"

"Maybe the time when or if you die."

"I'm not gonna die."

"We all die at some point"

"The only way I'll die is if I don't feel your touch or your presence around me..."

"You're such a drama queen Grier"

"So I'm considered a queen?"

"Your majesty" I sarcastically said as I did a half bow in my seat.

"As queen, I demand you to kiss me."

"Is that a challenge?" I said

"It's a demand." Hayes said.

"Well I'm not arguing with your demand" I said and without hesitation I crashed my lips onto his. And being in that moment made me feel like flying. Or that he was lifting me off my feet. A moment where I felt my body melting and that I liked it. It was like-

"We leave for a few minutes to get the stuff and you're already trying to get her pregnant?" Dylan said jokingly as he opened the car door. Hayes sighed, "thanks guys. Really. Thanks." Hayes sarcastically said. The guys snickered as they put the only plastic bag they had to the side. "What did you guys buy?" I asked as I sat into my seat which I slowly wanted to sink in after that embarrassing outburst Dylan said. "It's a surprise. But we can show you one thing" Riley said. Hayes started the car and we were out of the parking lot. "Really? And what's that?" One of the guys snorted to prevent their laughter, and I wondered why. But once I turned around to see what was going on Logan was holding a box of condoms to show me and Dylan and Riley were swarming around the back seat dying of laughter.

"Why the hell would you buy that?" I asked

"Because" Dylan said

"Because?"

"Because Hayes will need them for later." Dylan smirked. I looked at Hayes who was busy concentrating on the road and pretending nothing happened. I felt my cheeks burn as I slowly sunk down more into my seat.

Was this all a joke?

Was I just being used?

Was everything my sister had said, was right?