Love by accident

THE UNEXPECTED ENCOUNTER

It’s Friday night. The stock prices are still low, the board meeting is in three days, I have no fake girlfriend that will save me from the still trending news and there is no possible solution in sight.

“Don’t you think your standards are too high. We are looking for a fake girlfriend, not the future mother of your kids.” Cole complains after I reject yet another candidate.

“If I’m going to pretend to be in love with someone, it has to be at least believable. How are people going to believe that I am in love with a woman who thinks a suit is too serious to wear to work? I am the CEO of a billion-dollar corporation for crying out loud.”

Cole threw his head back in laughter. “I knew you took that suit part personally.”

I shouldn’t be surprised that all the ‘girls’ Cole claims to know have mysteriously been in his bed at one point or the other.

“I know the best place to find someone." He says, finally.

“Where?” I ask cautiously.

“Aurum.”

“Seriously? A nightclub.”

“Come on. It’s not just any nightclub. It’s a luxury nightclub, super-exclusively for the elite. The kind of ladies you will find there are stinky rich heiresses, actresses and influencers. Is that not what you are looking for?”

I considered it. Not bad.

“But that would involve you actually talking to them.” He adds and I roll my eyes.

“Whatever. A nightclub it is.”

A few hours later, I sat on a lone couch in the VIP section of the club, nursing a drink and surveying the scene with very obvious disinterest. The thumping bass of the music vibrates through my entire body, reminding me of why I don’t come to places like this in the first place.

I glance at Cole, and he is dancing wildly with a huge grin on his face, surrounded by a group of ladies who seem to be having the time of their lives.

I shake my head when another girl tries to approach me.

I know, I know. I’m supposed to at least talk to them, but I can’t even imagine myself fake-dating anyone here, so why put myself in difficult situations unnecessarily?

The VIP section is roped off, separating it from the rest of the club with plush velvet couches and overpriced drinks, but even the luxury doesn’t save me from the overwhelming noise and suffocating chaos.

I’ve had enough.

I put down my still full glass and try to walk out with the least amount of body contact possible. I breathe a sigh of relief as I reach the hallway, away from the noise. I look around, trying to find the quickest way out.

Air leaves my lungs when I feel someone bump into me.

Oh Lord, get me out of here.

I look down at the figure resting on my chest, and my heart speeds up. She didn’t bump into me; she practically collapsed on my chest.

I take in deep breaths to compose myself. I have not been this close to a woman since her.

I smell alcohol; it’s obvious she is drunk, dead drunk.

She can’t possibly be asleep, can she?”

“Excuse me?” I tap her shoulders.

No movement.

I grab her shoulders gently and try to get her to stand on her own.

“Who are you? Let go of me!” She exclaims suddenly, startling me.

I let go of her arms only for her to fall back, face-first, on my chest. Of course.

I look around to see if there’s someone with her, but there is no one in sight. I look back at the woman in my arms, feeling out of place.

Who the hell comes to a place like this alone, drunk enough to collapse on a stranger

Suddenly, she jerks awake and stands straight, but wobbles on her feet a bit. I am tempted to lift my arms to steady her, but she lifts her head, just enough to glare at me.

She raised one hand, pointing at me, her index finger touching the middle of my chest. I look at her small hands and take in her face.

Her face is flushed with that drunken blush evident on her cheeks. She is a grown woman, that’s for sure, but standing here, glaring at me with her half-open eyes, she looks innocent and almost child-like.

“You!” She exclaimed. “Stranger danger, stay away from me, mister!” She started to sing suddenly. I look around desperately, trying to find a way out of this.

And then she stops, just as suddenly.

“Hmmm,” She sniffs the air. No. Is she smelling me?

She pulls back suddenly, pulling her arms over her chest.

“You smell expensive! Don’t touch me!”

I have come to the conclusion that today is the worst day of my life.

“Oh no.” She says and covers her mouth with her hands, her eyes widening in comical horror.

“What? What’s wrong?”

But I was too late. The next thing happens in slow motion. I watch in horror as she leans forward and empties the entire contents on my suit. My shoes, not just any kind of shoes, the Berluti Alessandro Patent leather shoes. The only pair in the entire country and my favourite shoes, covered in vomit.

I look up at the ceiling, the flickering lightbulb mocking me.

So. The worst day of my life can actually get better. And my best shoes just died a hero’s death.

“What in the world is going on here?!” Cole’s loud voice makes me look back down. The woman had fallen asleep after throwing up all over me.

How convenient.

“Who’s she?” Cole asks.

“I have absolutely no idea.” I grind out, trying to wake the woman up.

The sound of a soft snore puts the final nail in the coffin.

I’m cooked.

“Then how did…?” Cole’s question trails away as he takes in the state of my clothes. And my shoes! Especially my shoes!

“Don’t. Don’t do it.” But of course, he freaking does it. The man who used to be my friend, my oldest friend, the one who is partly responsible for my current predicament, falls to his knees in laughter.