The Alpha’s Forbidden Valkyrie

Chapter 9

Jax’s POV

In the thick silence of the room, only our shared, uneven breathing could be heard. With my thumb, slowly, almost unconsciously, I stroked the pulse at her bloodied, chafed wrist. The bond, which until now had only been an infuriating, scorching flame, had morphed into something deeper and more comforting. I had found my mate. And most importantly: she was not a killer.

But the relief was quickly replaced by a much darker feeling. Her words echoed in my head over and over again. They tormented me... tried to beat the weakness out of me... threw me to the dogs.

I slowly lifted my gaze and looked straight into her eyes. My inner wolf growled beneath the surface, and the Alpha's protective instinct awakened with full force.

"You said they tried to beat your nature out of you," I began, my voice ringing dangerously low and raspy. "What exactly does that mean, Freya? Did they hurt you?"

Freya trembled. Her gaze caught on mine, then she quickly turned her head away and started to stare at the black sheets.

"Vampires, Jax," she whispered bitterly. "Do you think they sat me down to talk about my problems? To them, weakness is an infection. And the infection must be burned out."

"Tell me," I demanded. I didn't want to cause her pain by tearing open old wounds, but I needed to know. I needed to know exactly who I was swearing vengeance against.

The girl took a deep, trembling breath.

"When they found out I don't drink human blood, they locked me in the clan's dungeons," she began in a pale, emotionless voice, as if trying to completely detach herself from the memories. "They kept me there for weeks. They thought that if they drove me to the brink of starvation, my instincts would eventually take over and I would resort to the blood. But I didn't. I just got weaker and sicker. When my father saw that starving me wasn't working... they switched to physical methods."

My chest tightened sharply.

"They literally tried to beat the Valkyrie out of me," Freya continued, her voice cracking at one point. "With a whip. With silver-studded chains that burned my skin. They tied me down, poured human blood down my throat, and when I threw it up, they beat me over and over again. They said they would keep hitting me until my mutt self bled out, leaving only the pure vampire behind. My own father watched as the guards tore my back apart day after day..."

Blood began to pound in my ears. The rage I felt was not human. An ancient, feral, destructive fury flooded my mind. A red mist descended before my eyes. The beast inside me was frothing; in my imagination, I was already tearing her father to shreds, along with every single rotting bloodsucker who had dared to touch her.

How could they do this to her? How could they torture an innocent? My mate!

Blinded by rage, I completely lost control over my own body. My muscles tensed, my teeth ground together, and without realizing it, my hand clamped down. My massive, tattooed fingers locked around Freya's wrist with a vise-like grip, pressing right into the raw, wounded spots left by the iron chains in my cellar.

A sharp, muffled whimper jerked me back to reality.

"Ahh!" Freya snapped her head up, her face contorted in sudden, sharp pain.

I blinked, but the anger still clouded my mind, so for a single second, I did not let go.

"Jax..." she whispered desperately.

She thought I wanted to hurt her. She thought that after the vampires, I was going to strike her too. Her green eyes widened in terror, and instantly, out of pure panic, she began to flee. She yanked her hand back with all her might, gasping and scrambling backward on the bed as far away from me as she could get.

"Let me go!" she cried out, her voice breaking, thick, glistening tears pooling in her beautiful green eyes. "Please, it hurts! It hurts!"

The word slashed through my soul like a silver blade.

I instantly jerked my hand away, as if I had burned myself. My chest heaved rapidly as I glanced at my fingers, then at the girl's wrist, where the marks of my brutal grip now flared glaringly against her pale, wounded skin. It had started to bleed again.

I did this.

The weight of the realization crushed me. My wolf, who only moments ago had wanted to kill to protect her, now shrank back, whining in guilt. I was a monster. I was exactly like her father, exactly like her clan. I had chained her, starved her, and now, instead of offering her safety, I had caused her physical pain again, blinded by my own rage.

"Freya..." I whispered, my voice hoarse from shock and self-loathing. I raised my hand to reach for her, to comfort her, but she only pressed herself harder against the wall, pulling her injured wrist to her chest. The tears were now silently streaming down her pale face. She was trembling. She was terrified of me.

I couldn't bear it. Having my mate feel fear towards me was the absolute worst agony for an Alpha.

Slowly, with my hands raised, I began to back away from the bed to show her I wouldn't hurt her anymore.

"I'm sorry..." I said in a choked voice. My chest squeezed tightly. "I didn't mean to... The rage... I lost my head. I didn't want to cause you pain. I'm sorry."

Freya just panted silently, her tear-filled eyes tracking my every move like a cornered, wounded animal.

I looked at her for another moment, hating myself for what I had done to her over the past few days. Then I turned around.

"I'll get bandages for your wounds," I muttered to myself, and without waiting for an answer, I stormed out of the bedroom, quietly pulling the door shut behind me. I leaned against the cold wood in the hallway and closed my eyes, while my own helplessness and shame gnawed at my soul.

How long would it take before she ever trusted me? And more importantly... did I even deserve her trust at all?