36Did you feel how much I loved you, as I held your hand
while you got the ladybug tattoo?
Hundreds of people showed up for the funeral. Kids who didn’t even know her. The sliding glass doors that lined the back of the chapel were open and people stood outside for as far as I could see.
The chapel walls were dark and serious. There were seats for Mom and me behind the family, in a curtained-off section to the side. It was made to be private, so the family could cry.
I don’t know how Javi ended up sitting next to my dad. That would have normally weirded me out. But this day was as far from normal as I ever wanted to get. I was so out of it that nothing mattered, not even the fact that Max or Samantha weren’t there. I wondered if they had heard. I wondered if he had given her the pills.
