BLESSED BONDS

CHAPTER 03

My hands were throbbing.

Rotating my hands to ease the sharp ache the hard metal cuffs gave me from yanking on them wildly not long ago.

I winced at the red rings around my wrists. Guess they’re going to bruise for a while too. As if I haven’t had enough of them decorated around my skin already.

That bar fight wasn’t worth it — well, I did manage to send a cocky b***h crying to the hospital with a broken face. That was a tiny victory, right?

Honestly, I blame the alcohol that mixed with a manic episode — wait, no — I blame that stupid hoe for triggering it in the first place by swinging at me just because she thought I was giving her and her friends a nasty look. Like, how petty was that? I tried to explain that it was all a misunderstanding and caused by my contact lenses irritating my eyes since I was already unfortunate enough to have someone accidentally spill their drink to my face.

Good god.

I really laid it out too hard on that poor girl. My bad.

My skin prickles as I feel multiple pairs of eyes openly bore holes on me. I resisted the urge to shudder, trying my best to ignore those curious stares.

After the cuffs were finally removed, I hurriedly went over to claim my stuff. Avoiding them by walking ahead, yet they maintained a good distance from me, following.

“Here’s your stuff, kid.” My satchel slapped on the counter. I couldn’t help but let out a growl, “Careful.”

The lady at the front desk did not care at all. Even making her point by tossing me my stilettos in a lazy manner. I clumsily caught them, instantly noticing they were scratched as hell and even had dried blood on one of the heels still.

Huh, that fight was a big blur because I don’t recall using them as convenient weapons. Did I? I don’t know. Oh well.

I kicked out the horrid slippers they forced me to wear here and slipped into my bloody — pun intended — red heels, giving me a couple inches boost.

“All of you wait there, me and Luca need to speak to Will and the Chief of Police here.” I heard Hael announce, not looking back I hobbled my way to the benches and took a seat. The other two did the same but were a few seats away from me.

Next to me, I spilled the contents of my bag; a compact, lipstick, wallet, phone and a couple of pens and markers. There were also a bunch of folded blank papers in there.

Taking out one, I unfolded it and popped one of my markers’ cap off. My hands moved with speed as I drew.

“What the f**k is she doing?” I ignored the harsh toned comment, doodling away the violent urges that still lingered in my system from that bar fight. Why, though? Drawing is therapy for me. It helped ease the mania.

I guess I was so deep into it that I failed to notice an audience I gained, “A spider?”

Nearly jolting out of my seat from the voice, I looked up to meet Luca’s curious look. Immediately, I snapped my head away as I continued to draw, this time with less vigor.

I could still feel his eyes on me. Observing me.

What the hell is his problem?

With the lack of acknowledgement, I heard him do a soft sigh before sitting down next to me. I swallowed the panic from rising out of me, as I continued to busy myself with my business.

He didn’t say anything any more. Thank f**k for that.

Just watching my hand gliding all over the paper, only the scratching sound made by the marker filling our ears.

As I was finishing the last sketch that I could fill on this paper, I mumbled very low, kinda hoping he wouldn't catch it, “They’re black widows.”

Guess he heard it with how he let out a surprised hum, “I see.” Was his only response, silence once again drowning us.

I started to pack my things when I saw the office door open and Hael came out after shaking the Police Chief’s hand. He made his way over to us and let out a grunt.

“Thanks for leaving me to deal with all that on my own.”

A small chuckle came from Luca, “You had that covered. It’s less boring here.” He said with a chime. Jesus. What was that supposed to mean?

I did my best to put on a blank face when Hael finally glanced over to me.

One look at me and he let out the deepest sigh I ever heard come out of someone’s mouth

Now, what the hell was that supposed to mean, huh?

“The charges were dropped and they agreed not to add your name to their systems.” Hael said, before adding, “Your real name, I meant.”

I bobbed my head but couldn’t help but frown at the pointed look he graced me.

“I also paid for the medical bills of your bar fight victims, and will even be sending them baskets of fruits and pastries so their families will know how apologetic you really are.” He rants on, crossing his arms to antagonize a reaction from me, “You could at least give me a small ‘thank you’ for all that effort.”

A huff left me, crossing my own arms in challenge as I leaned back on the wall behind me. Through gritted teeth, I said a short, “Thanks.”

Is he expecting me to send him baskets of fruits and pastries to show apologetic I am to all of them?

Fat chance.

I rather dive head first in front of an ongoing bus.

He matches my energy, spitting out venom, “Welcome.”

I should find it comical that this man who was five years my senior was basically throwing a hissy fit.

Resisting the urge to indulge him with a lovely spat, I did an audible hmph! And turned my head away from him like how someone younger than him would do.

It was childish to say.

Yet having him silently fuming because of that, was worth it in my book.

Luca senses the tension and coughs, “Let’s get going then?”

I got up and trailed a bit behind them, slipping the paper of my drawings under one of the tables here, completely ignoring Luca’s watchful eyes. He doesn’t say anything.

There were two cars parked outside. Hael, although still obviously throwing me daggers, opened the back seat for me.

“Uh,” I started, hesitant again, “Can’t we just talk here? Why go all the way to the Capital?” My inquiry was not received well.

“Our bargain was we are going to have the conversation in the Capital. In our territory. Not in front of a run down police station nor ever in this god forsaken city.” Hael opens the door wider, “Now, get in.”

My hand spasmed, wanting to sock this bastard's face and risk another assault charge.

“At least let me go back to my workplace. I need to talk to my boss and get changed.” Going home for a change of clothes would’ve been more reasonable, but I was not jeopardizing where I was currently living. Even if it was barely even a place to be called home with how tiny it was.

“No.” The nerve of this guy, “Besides it’s too late for your work to be open considering it's past midnight already.”

I try to argue, “We’re open at night.”

That got me various looks from them, “Open?” Calix questions, “What? Do you work at bars or something? f*****g hell, are you a hostess?”

There was nothing wrong with that line of work, I honest to god respect hustling girls, but the tone he gave was degrading and just directed towards me.

“Why? Got a problem with me assisting other men?” I retorted, fanning the fire, provoking it to burn more.

Calix instead throws a f*****g container of gasoline to it, “Ha. Funny how you mention other men when you can’t even be bothered to deal with the men in your life. Slow it down, baby.” He drags the word with a taunt, “I’m pretty sure you can’t multitask to save your life.”

“I’ll multitask shoving my fist and both my feet down your throat.” Was my instant reply, snarling. He mockingly raises both his hands, feigning being scared.

Luca intervenes, getting tired of being the designated referee for tonight, “Enough with the violent threats and indirect insults to hard working women. Don’t mind Calix, there’s nothing wrong with you uh, well… assisting people.”

I could feel my cheeks slightly burn even on this cold night, not sure if it was because I was embarrassed or the anger was getting to me, “I’m not assisting anyone! I never said I was a hostess whatsoever! I work at a 24-hour pizza place, for heaven’s sake.”

“Pizza?”

We all turned towards Kylo’s sudden buzz at the mention of food, totally ignoring everything else we've just been talking about. His stomach even willfully making a loud sound. “Great. Now I’m hungry.”

I stared at him like he grew another head. Either I was going insane or it was him. I’m afraid it’s both of us.

It seems I wasn’t the only one feeling the same thing as Hael slapped a hand to his face.

“I’m going to lose my goddamn mind.” He reaches for something in the car before thrusting it to my arms. It was a thick coat the same color as his suit, and probably long enough to cover my shivering legs.

“You can contact your work through your phone. You can also have a warm bath and a change of clothes on the plane.” He then turns to Kylo, “We can order pizza, and have it delivered and be there by the time we get to the airport.”

I don’t know why he was acting like he just solved world hunger and every other world problems.

“Let’s just get in the car already before this night gets any worse.”

Oh.

It will definitely get worse.

I’ll see to it myself.

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They decided it would be best to make me share a car with the most level-headed ones: Luca and Hael.

Flanking me on both sides in the back seat, extinguishing any sort of plan I had to jump out of the car and bolt.

Both of them were busy with their phones, leaving me to wanton in myself alone.

Oh my god.

I still can’t wrap it around my head that they’re here, let alone I’m sharing a car with both of them, the other two in another that was just behind us.

Looking around, I checked where we were now. Up ahead, I could see the truss bridge that indicated we were leaving the city and on our way to the airport on the other end.

I wanted to curl myself into a ball, so I take less space and get smaller and smaller until I cease to exist.

Pulling the coat tighter around me unconsciously, Luca catches the move and quietly asks the driver in front to lower the ac.

I could’ve said a small thanks but I found myself doing my best to keep my jaw shut.

I think I’m gonna be sick.

It ran through my mind as I slapped my hands to my mouth. I don’t even know if it was because of motion sickness or the anxiety swirling in my gut rising like a damn geyser out of me.

“What’s wrong?” The males beside me were both alarmed, dropping their attention from their phones and taking in my dilemma. By now I was already slightly bent over forward and gagging.

I felt a hand hesitant at first before running up and down my back, trying to soothe me out of what the hell I was going through.

“Do you want some water?” Luca asked, leaning down to get a better look at me.

I shook my head, holding my breath in as I barely squeezed out words,

“I think I’m gonna puke.”

“Fuck.” Hael curses, “Stop the car.”

The abrupt stop only made my stomach drop even more and I was already climbing over Hael who wasn’t fast enough to get out of my way.

Making out just in time, a few meters away from the vehicle, I let it all out: the bland and disgusting ration of food they had given in jail for the past days, the drinks and junk food I had in the bar, the awful convenience store lasagna I forced myself to finish last week, maybe even that expired carton of milk I accidentally drank almost six months ago — in which most of that was highly impossible but with how I was vomiting non-stop, it felt like I was depositing a year’s worth of anything that was inside my stomach.

“What the f**k is happening?” I barely caught it with how loud my retching was. My ears were starting to ring as I did a small glance to see that the occupants of the car that was behind us had joined the rest to witness me so gracefully empty my gut and every fiber of my body along with it.

The sight of all four of them there only made me realize once more how too close they are. Too f*****g close to me. And I felt another wave of bile leave my mouth.

God. My throat is burning like hell right now.

No one even made their way near me to ask if I was having the best time of my life, the ungodly amount of vomit made sure to repel them away. Some f*****g fated bonds they are.

I was barely standing, hunched over with my hands on my knees.

“Sinclai—” I held out a hand to cut them off.

“J-Just… give me… a moment.” I wheezed out trying to catch my breath. With my back to them, I looked around and saw that we really did stop smack in the middle of the bridge. Even though faint, I could hear the water lightly smack against the steel foundations.

I gave myself a few minutes to rearrange my head then looking over past my shoulder. They were having a silent conversation by themselves back there, only shushing when they saw me slowly straightening back up.

I get a good look at each of the men here, taking notice that they look different now, more mature, more bigger than I remembered.

Luca still had the same baby face. Still pretty, yet now he was more adult-like, more put together.

Hael didn’t use to be this well trimmed, even the way he presented himself was different. Colder. Distant.

Calix had this wild vibe practically radiating from him. He is undeniably louder now. Meaner and angrier.

Kylo changed the most. Gloomy and quiet. But most of all he looked at me differently now.

I don’t blame him. I don’t blame any of them for changing. Because I did the same thing. I too, changed.

I wasn’t Morana Sinclair anymore.

I wasn’t even Rue Copper or Jules Austin or Lily Adams or whatever fake names I used during these past years.

I was neither of them.

So there was always that nagging feeling in my head — who am I?

I haven’t found out yet. And I will never find out if I go back.

“Are you okay?”

No.

I answered mentally, slipping out of the coat that felt like it was gradually getting heavier on my shoulders. I kicked out of my stilettos next, on my bare feet now.

“What are you doing?”

Giving them one last lazy look, I faced forward.

“Don’t you dare. Don’t you f*****g dar—”

They were too late. Hands inches away, far from grabbing me in time as my legs sprinted.

I didn’t have to run that far though as the edge was right there.

Amongst the loud screaming, I didn’t waste a split second to hesitate as I leaped over the railing.

There was something poetic about feeling your body falling. It makes you feel as if you’re light, the world around you slowing down and the rush of air passes by you as you plummet.

It was freeing.

For a moment, I was — free.

Just in that tiny window, I felt it.

But next, I felt the crash.

Cold and darkness engulfed me as the water welcomed me in its embrace.

Reality started to drown me once more.