The Queen Who Died Twice

2

By the time the first carriage arrived at the palace, I had already made my decision.

I wasn’t marrying Darius.

Not today.

Not tomorrow.

Not ever.

Mara had spent the last hour trying to convince me that I should at least wait until after the ceremony to explain myself.

I refused.

“You understand that the entire kingdom is expecting this wedding to happen,” she said as she adjusted the clasp on the back of my dress.

“I know.”

“The council is here.”

“I know.”

“Half the northern families are here.”

“I know.”

She sighed.

“And Darius.”

I met her eyes through the mirror.

“Especially Darius.”

Mara studied my reflection.

There was worry in her expression.

“You really remember all of it?”

I hesitated.

“Not everything.”

That was the truth.

I remembered what happened to me.

I remembered what happened to her.

I remembered Darius standing outside my prison cell.

I remembered Evelyne beside him.

I remembered the accusations, the trial, the blood, and the celebration that followed my death.

But there were gaps.

Things I had never understood.

Names I had never heard.

Conversations I had never witnessed.

I didn’t know who had started the rumors against me.

I didn’t know who had forged the evidence.

I didn’t know why the council had been so determined to see me condemned.

And I certainly didn’t know why my mother’s name had appeared in my thoughts during my final moments.

Those answers would have to wait.

For now, there was one thing I could change.

The wedding.

Mara stepped in front of me.

“If you’re certain, I’ll stand beside you.”

I looked at her.

“Even if everyone turns against me?”

She smiled faintly.

“When have I ever cared what everyone thinks?”

I almost laughed.

In my first life, she had died because she stood beside me.

This time, I would make sure she survived.

We entered the wedding hall together.

The room fell strangely quiet as soon as I appeared.

Hundreds of people had gathered.

Pack leaders.

Nobles.

Council members.

Representatives from the northern territories.

Every important family in the kingdom seemed to be there.

At the far end of the hall stood Darius.

He wore the formal black uniform of the Blackthorne Alpha, silver insignia crossing his chest.

For one brief moment, seeing him brought back everything.

His hands around mine.

His voice promising forever.

His face as he watched me die.

I forced the memories away.

Then I looked beside him.

Evelyne.

She wore silver and black, the colors of the Blackthorne court.

She stood exactly where I remembered her standing.

At Darius’s side.

The official political Luna.

Evelyne was the daughter of Lord Aldric Vale, one of the most powerful northern lords. Her family’s support had helped Darius secure his position after his father’s death.

When Darius and I discovered we were mates, everyone assumed Evelyne’s position would eventually change.

But it hadn’t.

The political arrangement remained.

Evelyne continued to serve as Luna, representing the northern alliance and managing much of the royal household and court.

I had never questioned it.

In my first life, I had trusted Darius when he told me everything would work itself out.

I believed him when he said there was nothing between them.

Maybe there hadn’t been.

Maybe there had.

I didn’t know anymore.

And I wasn’t going to spend another lifetime guessing.

Darius’s eyes found mine.

He smiled.

It was the same smile I remembered.

For the first time, I realized how easy it had been to love him.

“Seraphina.”

His voice carried across the hall.

I began walking toward him.

Every step felt heavier than the last.

The priest waited at the altar.

The council watched.

Mara stood several feet behind me.

Darius held out his hand.

I stopped.

His expression changed.

“What’s wrong?”

I looked at his hand.

Then at him.

“I can’t do this.”

A murmur moved through the room.

Darius lowered his hand.

“What did you say?”

“I said I can’t do this.”

His voice dropped.

“Seraphina, what is this?”

I looked around the room.

Everyone was watching.

Good.

They could hear me.

“The wedding is canceled.”

Silence.

Absolute silence.

Then the room erupted.

Whispers spread through the nobles like wildfire.

Darius stared at me.

“You can’t be serious.”

“I am.”

“Do you have any idea what you’ve just done?”

“Yes.”

His face hardened.

“You agreed to this.”

“I changed my mind.”

“You don’t simply change your mind on your wedding day.”

“Apparently, I do.”

A few people gasped.

Darius stepped closer.

His voice remained controlled, but I could see the anger underneath it.

“Come with me.”

“No.”

His eyes narrowed.

“Seraphina.”

“I said no.”

“This is not the place for this conversation.”

“Then perhaps you should have asked me whether I wanted to marry you before bringing an entire kingdom here to watch.”

His jaw tightened.

“You are embarrassing both our families.”

I almost smiled.

There it was.

Not concern.

Not heartbreak.

Reputation.

That was something I remembered well.

“What about me?” I asked.

“What about you?”

“Am I not allowed to be embarrassed?”

His expression flickered.

“You are my mate.”

The bond between us pulled painfully inside my chest.

I hated that it still affected me.

“I know.”

“Then you know what this means.”

“It means we’re mates.”

“It means we’re supposed to be together.”

“Being your mate doesn’t mean I have to marry you.”

The room went quiet again.

Evelyne finally stepped forward.

“Perhaps everyone should take a moment.”

Her voice was calm.

Perfectly calm.

She looked at me with the same sympathetic expression she had worn outside my prison cell.

“I understand this is overwhelming.”

I stared at her.

“You don’t understand anything about me.”

Her expression barely changed.

“I’m only trying to prevent this from becoming worse.”

“It already became worse.”

Darius looked between us.

“Evelyne.”

She immediately stepped back.

The movement was small.

Respectful.

Political.

Exactly what everyone expected from the Luna.

And somehow that bothered me more than if she had argued.

Darius turned back to me.

“Is there someone else?”

“No.”

“Then why?”

Because I know you.

Because I know how this ends.

Because three years from now, I’ll be dying alone while you celebrate with her.

Because the woman standing behind you will watch me die.

Because I don’t know whether you betrayed me willingly or whether you were manipulated by people you trusted.

Because I don’t know who framed me.

Because I don’t know what happened to my mother.

Because I don’t know why Mara had to die.

I couldn’t tell him any of that.

So I gave him the only answer he was going to get.

“I don’t trust you.”

Something changed in his face.

Not anger.

Something else.

Pain, perhaps.

It disappeared so quickly that I couldn’t be certain.

“You don’t trust me?”

“No.”

“After everything between us?”

“Yes.”

He stared at me for several seconds.

Then he said quietly, “You will regret this.”

Maybe I would.

But I had already regretted trusting him once.

I turned away.

Mara hurried to my side.

We walked out of the wedding hall together while the whispers followed us down the corridor.

By the time we reached my rooms, messages were already arriving.

The first came from Darius.

He wanted to speak with me.

I refused.

The second came twenty minutes later.

Then another.

Then another.

I refused every one.

Eventually, Mara dropped the latest message onto the table.

“He’s persistent.”

“He always was.”

She gave me a strange look.

“You really don’t want to know what he’s going to say?”

“I already know what he’ll say.”

“And?”

I looked at the folded message.

“He’ll want an explanation.”

“Are you going to give him one?”

“Not yet.”

Mara leaned against the table.

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t know what I believe.”

That answer seemed to surprise her.

I walked toward the small writing desk near the window.

My fingers brushed against the necklace around my throat.

The pendant my mother had given me when I was young.

I had carried it through my entire first life.

A small silver crescent surrounded by nine tiny points.

I had never known what it meant.

I had never asked.

Now I couldn’t stop looking at it.

“Where did you get that?” Mara asked.

“My mother.”

“She gave it to you?”

“When I was little.”

Mara studied the pendant.

“Do you know what the symbol means?”

“No.”

I turned it over in my fingers.

There had to be a reason she had given it to me.

Something she had wanted me to understand.

Something I had been too young to see.

“Seraphina.”

I looked up.

Mara’s expression had changed.

“What?”

She pointed toward the door.

A servant stood outside.

“Lady Seraphina?”

I stepped closer.

“What is it?”

“There are several people asking to speak with you.”

“Who?”

The servant hesitated.

“The council has requested your presence.”

Of course they had.

I almost laughed.

The wedding had barely ended, and already the council wanted answers.

“Tell them I’ll speak with them later.”

The servant bowed.

“Yes, my lady.”

He turned to leave.

Then stopped.

“There’s one other matter.”

“What?”

“Your belongings were delivered from your old estate this morning.”

I frowned.

“My old estate?”

“Yes. There was something among the items that appeared to have been addressed to you.”

“Where is it?”

“In storage.”

“Bring it to me.”

The servant nodded and left.

Mara watched the door close.

“What do you think it is?”

“I don’t know.”

For the first time since waking from my death, I felt something other than fear.

Curiosity.

My mother had left very little behind.

A few pieces of jewelry.

Some old clothing.

A handful of letters that had never seemed important.

At least, not then.

But now I had a second life.

And I had no intention of overlooking anything.

I touched the crescent pendant again.

Nine points.

Nine.

The number meant nothing to me.

Not yet.

But I had learned one thing in my first life.

The most dangerous secrets were often the ones everyone assumed weren’t worth looking for.

I glanced toward the door.

“Bring me everything that belonged to my mother.”

Mara straightened.

“Everything?”

“Everything.”

She nodded.

“Then I guess we’re going digging.”

I looked out the window toward the distant mountains.

The wedding was over before it had begun.

Darius was no longer my future.

But the questions that had haunted my first life were still waiting for me.

This time, I would find the answers before they found me.