Never Descending

Chapter 5

Good fuck

"Hey, what's wrong?"

Walang patid ang paglalakad ko habang ramdam ko ang patuloy na pagsunod ni Caleb. Mas binilisan ko na lang ang lakad bago niya pa mahawakan na naman ang kamay ko.

Pinatunog niya ang sasakyan nang ilang hakbang na lang kami mula roon kaya naman agad din akong nakapasok sa loob. The car door created a loud thud as soon as I closed it. Hindi nagtagal ay sumakay na rin si Caleb. Bumaling siya sakin pagkasara niya ng pinto sa bahagi niya.

He gazed at me with carefulness.

"Is this.. still about the row we had this morning?" maingat na wika niya. "I'm.. sorry. I promise I won't mention something like that again,"

Bakas ang pag-iingat sa tono niya.

I was just about to open my mouth when my phone vibrated. I puffed out a breath and decided to quickly check out if the message is important or not.

Inalis ko ang tingin sa nananantyang si Caleb at kinuha ang telepono sa bag.

Sage Alonzo:

Iris

Tumagal ang titig ko sa screen. I haven't heard from him for a pretty long time so I was wondering what is this about. I know he's not the type to usually text out of the blue for no reason at all so this must be vital.

I mentally took note that I'd reply to him later. Just not now when I'm about to get on a heated conversation.

"Who's that?" Caleb asked.

I returned the phone on my bag and I nearly rolled my eyes at his question. To be honest, if not for all those time that Caleb did me good, I won't entertain all his uncalled-for prying and nosiness.

"Sage," I nonchalantly said before turning back my eyes on him.

Mabilis na nagsalubong ang kilay niya.

"Your ex? Why would he text you?" now his voice suddenly became edgy.

"I don't know." I spat. "He just sent me a plain message with my name on it,"

Nagsukatan kami ng tingin. He suddenly looks annoyed for some reason. He exhaled sharply before offering his hand. I stared at it in bafflement with my arched brow.

"Let me see," he said.

Kumunot ang noo ko. "What?"

His head gave off a single nod towards my bag. "Let me check your phone,"

My mouth gradually hung wide open. Nang makabawi ay napasinghap ako bago nilipat ang tingin sa harap.

"No." mariing sabi ko. "Ayoko,"

"Why?" he immediately followed up with that same critical tone.

Feeling appalled, I instantly turned to him and glowered.

"Anong why? You mean why do YOU have to go through my phone?" I sarcastically rebutted.

He gritted his teeth. "I just want to check the message he sent, Iris."

He's trying to stay composed but his voice is telling me otherwise. He's nearly on the verge of losing it.

"Sinabi ko naman na diba? He simply texted my name. Only that and nothing else! Ano pa bang hindi malinaw ron?"

Fuck, I don't even know why I'm explaining to him. I don't owe him anything. 

Hindi siya nagpatinag. 

"If that's the case then why can't you just show it to me? What's stopping you from letting me go through your phone if you're not hiding anything?" his voice reeks with accusation.

The dumbass couldn't even fully trust me. What is he trying to imply, then? That I'm lying to him face to face and is straight out cheating with my ex? Tarantadong 'to.

I crossed my arms in front of my chest and looked at him as if he's some kind of trash.

"What I want is for you to respect my personal privacy." --you little s**t. "Whatever this relationship that we have, it doesn't change the fact we are still two completely independent individuals. Don't turn this commitment into symbiosis." I scowled.

His stares didn't falter. His grip on the steering wheel tightened.

"You're making yourself worn out over a simple matter, Iris. If you've only shown me your phone when I asked for it, then we wouldn't be arguing over something so petty." 

Bullshit. If you didn't demand for something so frivolous, then we wouldn't be having this feud.

I didn't broke my scrutiny at him.

"Spying into privacy is the devil, Caleb. As soon as it has any opportunity, it will drive you to repeat it again and again to everlasting perdition. Don't let go of that devil. Take my advice and keep it in a cage." I muttered in a rather calm tone.

He turned quiet for a while. The brief silence between us was deafening.

Until I eventually heard his exasperated sigh.

"I don't get you. If I were in your position, I can easily let you scan through my phone. I can even bring you in my place right now just so you could check my phone which I left at home. That's how confident I am about my faithfulness to you. Why can't you just do the same to me?" may bakas ng hinanakit na sabi niya.

Clearly, he really doesn't get the point. Marahil iniisip niya na kung ibang babae siguro ay mabilis namang papayag sa 'simpleng' gusto niya. But pardon because I'm not like the other girls. Ako 'to. Si Iris.

"You're willing to do that?" I muttered without looking at him. My arms are still crossed while my back is leaning on the seat.

Hindi siya agad nakasagot ngunit ramdam ko ang pagtagal ng titig niya mula sa gilid ng mata ko.

"Y-yeah.." he slowly said.

I nodded.

"Then drive." I commanded. "Let's get your phone," I said.

He was taken aback at first and even hesitant. Probably finding the situation bizarre. 

Ngunit kalaunan ay sinimulan niya na rin naman ang makina ng sasakyan. Nag-tanong pa siya kung may gusto muna 'kong bilhin bago dumiretso sa unit niya pero tuwid lang ang tingin ko.

I can easily break the parting words right in front of him but I suddenly want him himself to read the message I sent earlier. Wala lang. Gusto ko lang siyang pagurin at mag-drive para sa wala.

Hindi naman nauubusan ng cab sa tapat ng towers na tinutuluyan niya kaya't panatag akong hindi magiging mahirap ang pag-uwi pagkatapos kong putulin ang namamagitan samin.

There was this dead air between us even when we were already in the elevator. He was constantly trying to ease the atmosphere but I was unwavering. Para san pa? I don't invest energy in things that would end shortly.

"You wanna have something?" he asked as soon as we entered the door.

"No. Just take your phone and get back to me." I stated with zero enthusiasm.

His questioning stares lingered at me for a while until he eventually nodded. Tumalikod siya sakin at nagsimulang maglakad. Hindi naman na siya nawala sa paningin ko dahil sa bandang sofa sa living room niya lang dinampot ang phone niya.

He handed it to me without second thoughts.

"You can have it for as long as you want," he even said.

I shook my head to decline his offer. 

"Check it yourself." I said.

His lips slightly parted in confusion while staring at me. Nabitin sa ere ang nakalahad niyang kamay. I saw his adam's apple tensely moved before he retrieved his hand closer to him.

I watched him as he opened his phone. His eyes were quickly glued to the screen. I witnessed how his expression changed upon registration. He probably fully read that short break-up message by now.

"You were really cool at first but you're being such an ass lately, Caleb. Things between us don't feel right anymore. T'was a good f**k but the fun is over. Let's end this." I firmly stated incessantly.

And at that, fear slowly crept into his eyes.