Conflicted Love

Further Complications

After Felix left, I sat in the dining room a while. Disjointed thoughts were flashing through my mind, making no sense. I was so consumed by the confusion that I barely noticed as my mother slipped into the room and took a seat across the table for me. 

"Erin?"

I jumped slightly, "Sorry mother, I was miles away. I wish I was, actually."

She frowned softly, "I don't wish to add to your troubles, dear, but... I'm assuming you got my note?" 

Sighing, I nodded. This must be the pre-amble before she told my father of my latest escapade. 

"I'm not going to tell your father," she said. Surprised, I looked up. "This time," she continued with emphasis, "But please, Erin, don't keep sneaking around with these boys. This is a stressful time for us all, without any more scandal being added to the mix." 

"I didn't intend to cause scandal, mother. I never wanted any of this!" 

She frowned a little once more, "Yes, dear, I know that. But it has happened and now it must be resolved. Your father has calmed somewhat and wants you to make the right decision, do what's best for you. Please don't incur his wrath with unnecessary drama." 

"I wouldn't exactly call it unnecessary," I rolled my eyes, "I don't know how to deal with any of this. No wolf alive remembers the last time this happened and the world is a different place to when it last did! Women have more of a voice nowadays and I expect to be able to use mine." 

My mother blanched slightly, unused to seeing me so defensive. My fingers rapped the table impatiently. 

My mother stood and pushed her chair back into place, sighing softly, " I don't wish to fight with my daughter, nor do I wish any of this stress on you. However, should I find out that you're sneaking around doing anything untoward again, I will be forced to inform your father." 

She left abruptly, before I could respond. The door swung swiftly shut behind her as I cursed under my breath. I sat for a moment, before rising to go to bed, muttering, "Oh don't worry mother dearest - you won't catch me again." 

~*~

It was no use. Past midnight, still I laid awake, turning the last couple of days' events over and over in my head, trying vainly to determine the right path.

FUCK!

Suddenly I realised that I didn't know for certain whether I had thought that, or mind-linked it to an undetermined number of the pack. Turning over on my bed, I slammed my face into the pillow, agonising over the potential fallout of this weekend.

A few moments later, I was on my feet. Almost like I had no control over them, they made their way quietly out of my room as the door slipped shut behind them and padded gently down the short corridor, up a small flight of steps and onto the guest corridor. The soles of my feet barely breathed upon the carpet as I crept along, my mother's earlier warning ringing in my ears.

I found myself staring at the brass number three on the guest room door, not even knowing what I was going to do now that I was there. "Should you wish to speak further, you know where to find me" - his exact words. Well, if he meant that and he planned to leave tomorrow, knowing I had school, he should have partly expected disturbance in the night, shouldn't he? I stubbornly thought to myself as I tried to summon the courage to knock on his door.

I lifted my fist and faltered as the door swung open before I even made contact. Before me stood Felix - bare-chested in some casual nightwear bottoms the Alpha house provided to guests, eyes glinting in the gentle light of the corridor.

The tension in the air grew thicker with each passing moment as we both drank in each other. His taut chest was smattered with dark hair and a few freckles, while he seemed to find my small tank top and shorts amusing. He smiled for the first time since our meeting at my party. Werewolves are hot-blooded creatures and most of us struggle sleeping in anything too... smothering - which seemed to suit him perfectly right now.

I opened my mouth to speak, but Felix was faster. Biting his lower lip, he reached an arm around my waist and pulled me gently, but firmly, into his guest room. Shutting the door behind us, he deftly slid the bolt across. He edged towards the wall so that I was backed against it to the side of the door. The guest rooms were simple; all contained a double bed, a bedside table with a lamp, a small ensuite bathroom, wardrobe and wall-mounted TV. The lamp was the only light in the room, but still his stunning blue eyes glinted out from under his unruly black hair.

Felix looked at me with the same hunger I saw in his face on my birthday. His hand relaxed against the small of my back, fingers splayed out warmly across my tingling skin. He drew himself closer to me, breathing a little heavier as the distance shrunk between our faces.

"Fancy seeing you here, princess," he smiled again. It was enchanting. He stopped for a minute, looking down into my eyes. It was as though the rest of the world ceased to exist and we were the only two beings left. The air crackled once again as his gaze bore into mine. His hips gently pressed me into the wall as his other hand softly cupped my chin.

I wanted to speak, to tell him to back off the way I should have done with Jasper, but his tender insistence took me by surprise. His scent was different to Jasper's, but equally intoxicating and I lost all control of my senses for a moment. He gently laid his forehead against mine, took a breath and then looked me in the eye again as he brushed his nose against mine, "If this is the only true happiness I get before I die, princess, then please, let me have this moment." he murmured as he plunged his warm, soft lips against mine, all passion and desperation tumbled into one.

I sank into him as fire burned up and down my veins. I ran a hand through his hair and pulled him to me as the pleasure threatened to consume me. He ran the fingers of one hand along the side of my torso and the other up my thigh to the edge of my shorts, blurring the lines between our bodies and releasing all of the emotions the past couple of days had brought. Breaking away abruptly, another wry smile sneaked across his face as he took in the scene before him. He sighed softly, slightly breathless, lips parted. He lifted the hand from my shorts to graze the back of his fingers gently against my cheek. Before I could gather myself, he pulled me to him once again.

Pleasure exploded through me, an intense, burning sensation. I marvelled at how I could feel this way about both him and Jasper, but the sudden thought of him made me buckle, pushing Felix away. He was much stronger than I was and he could have held me there if he wanted to, but at the smallest sign of resistance, he backed off and regarded me warily.

He looked down at my feet, "I'm sorry, princess. I just... I had to know what it felt like to be close to my mate, just once. Before you get stolen away from me."

A small crease formed between my eyebrows at his words and I wasn't sure if I was sharing his pain, or irritated at his reoccurring assumptions. Stepping forward, I lifted up his chin and looked at him squarely, "Felix, if you're so sure that you are my true mate, why are you also so sure that I'm going to leave you?"

For a second, I thought he was going to cry, or ask me to leave. Some great internal battle seemed to be raging behind those beautiful eyes and I started to feel bad for asking. Then he steeled himself, taking my hand from his chin and holding it firmly against his warm, bare chest. I could feel the soft beat of his heart under my fingertips.

"Because, princess, everyone I care about always does."