Conflicted Love

Temptation

Jumping away from the wall I'd been leaning on, I looked up to see Jasper slowly sliding into the small building, a wry smile on his face. He took a couple of steps forward, halving the distance between us. My stomach fluttered.

"You've left everyone quite perturbed, disappearing like that," he looked quite amused, "It was all ready to descend into chaos until Elijah turned to speak to you and we realised you were no longer there. The whole Alpha party is searching the grounds and the house for you."

He took another step closer, leaning his head to one side as he took in my tear-stained face. He was right in front of me now, electricity buzzing in the air between us. I looked at the ground beneath my feet, "I'm really sorry," I began, but I was halted abruptly by the touch of his fingers under my chin.

He lifted my gaze back to his face gently, "Please don't look so sadly at the ground like that, not because of me. I can't bear it." His voice was barely more than a whisper, but small thrills travelled along my skin at his words. The connection between us was heavy, the air felt as though it should be on fire. He smiled, "I know you feel it too." He traced my jawline with his thumb, the touch as light as a feather, sending a small gasp involuntarily from my mouth as he removed his hand and let it fall back to his side. Goosebumps erupted all over me at his touch and I lost all sense of what it was I had wanted to say. For a moment we just stood like that, neither one of us ready to break the eye contact.

Finally, I did, "I am sorry, Jasper," I said softly, "I don't know what is happening, or what to do about it. All I know is I have to be honest. I can't just choose you, because when I look at Felix, I feel the same way. I don't want to hurt either of you."

Jasper smiled softly again, "Dear, sweet Erin. So selfless. So good and kind," he edged even closer to me, so we were almost touching.

I backed off slightly but came into contact with the wall behind me. "Don't be frightened, love," he said, his voice quiet and delicate once again, "The last thing I would want to do is harm you." It was hard to imagine that I would ever be frightened of him. He moved forward once more, so slowly I could barely see it. He was so close, I could count the tiny freckles on his nose. The delicious scent coming from him was inescapable and was almost my undoing.

"I don't think you mean to harm me," I finally managed to speak. He smiled once more, his eyes aglow with lust. He leaned into me, looking down into my eyes with the sort of hunger I had never seen aimed in my direction before. His nose touched mine as he placed a hand on my waist. The jolt of pleasure I felt at this most simple touch brought me back to earth, "We can't, Jasper," I whispered.

"Why the devil not?" he chuckled. I tried to push him back, but he was a lot stronger than me and he knew it. He took his hand from my waist and used it to brush a stray hair out of my face.

"It would not be fair to Felix, for one," I said, although there was disappointment tearing at me inside even as the words left me.

That cheeky smile made it's way onto Jasper's face once more, "What about him?" he asked. Then he actually laughed a little, "I'm the one who found you. While everyone else ran around your house like chickens with their heads cut off, I found you straight away!" he declared. Leaning dangerously close to my face once more, so that I could feel his warm, sweet breath against my skin, he muttered, "If Felix is fated to be your mate, why wasn't he the one who found you?"

"I... I don't know," I whispered. I wanted to fight him, to argue my case that, until we knew what to do about the situation, what he was doing was wrong. He was messing with my head, using my body's traitorous weakness to his proximity against me, and he meant to do it. He didn't care for Felix. He had one goal on his mind and he was determined. My mind was swimming, my body aching to release the tension. His nose touched mine again and he sighed gently, pressing his body against mine. He had me trapped and the best part of me didn't even care. I took a deep breath and his scent filled me up, my desire burning beneath his gaze. He lightly caressed my waist once again, before pausing. It seemed to take every ounce of self-control he possessed.

He swallowed slowly, "If you really want me to stop, just say the words and I'll stop. Your happiness is the most important thing in the world to me. Even if my body is screaming in protest," he chuckled. The small noise in his throat sent thrills through me once more.

I looked at his soft, inviting lips so close to mine, then back up at his eyes, attempting to speak, "I... I don't want you to stop, I just... I just..." I couldn't get the words out. Having his body this close to me, feeling the magnetic pull between us, breathing in his intoxicating scent, it was all too much. Apparently it was too much for him, as well.

One hand on my waist, the other caressing the nape of my neck, he pulled me that last inch into a passionate, desperate kiss. Fireworks exploded in my mind as the sensation of him filled me; the taste of his lips, the way he pressed his body firmly against mine, the way it felt as though he would die without this contact. My body reciprocated, ignoring my conscience's feeble protests. I ran my hands though his hair and tried to pull him closer to me, even though there was no more space to be gained. This was definitely how a first kiss was meant to happen.

I regained myself slowly, calming my response to him, "Stop," I whispered. Jasper pulled away slightly, but still holding me between himself and the wall. It looked painful to him. He looked down on me, his eyes softer but still full of desire. He sighed gently, stroking my cheek with the back of his hand as he appeared to resign himself to my request.

"You drive me crazy, Erin," he smirked.

"I'm sorry," I breathed, "But we have to go back. We can't do this. Not here, not now. Not like this."

"Then when, and how?" he looked more serious now, "When can I have my mate?"

"Jasper," I began, exasperated. He cut me off.

"Do you know how I feel when you say my name? Do you have any idea what it does to me, Erin?" It felt as though my blood had ignited at his words.

"Yes, I do," I swallowed hesitantly, trying both to regain my breath and control my desire to kiss him again, "But we have to be responsible about this!"

"f**k the damn responsibility! Why does no one care about your happiness?" he was getting a little angry, "Our happiness," he added, softening his tone.

He stopped holding me to him, instead placing a hand on the wall either side of my head and holding his arms straight to look at me better, but still keeping me trapped by his body, "Why are you fighting this? Why don't you want me?" he asked, his voice barely a whisper.

"Jasper, I'm not saying I don't want you. Clearly, I do. But I also felt the same for Felix earlier and I can't just ignore that."

"You could," he muttered, a dark look about his face, "You could just choose me - right here, right now and there would be nothing anyone else could do about it."

"Jasper, NO! Don't-"

My words were drowned by another passionate kiss. My nerves exploded once more as he pulled me in, but this time I squirmed to get away, trying to shove him back, my protests muffled by his lips.

A dark silhouette appeared in the doorway, taking in the struggle before him for a second - then Felix's voice boomed out, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING TO HER?"